I woke up and it was freezing in the house. OK it was like 69 but still when you get out of your warm bed that feels cold. I came out to check our wood burner {our main heat source for the house} and noticed it hadn't been filled. "Damn him!", I thought, "why didn't he load that before he left?". And then I proceeded to the kitchen and noticed the Keurig was out of water. "Oh, of course it is. Why am I the only one that ever fills this thing?". PMS anyone? Yeah Aunt Flow is here and she's a raging bitch this month. I digress.
I had my phone in my hands and I was ready to send a bitchy text when I stopped myself dead in my tracks. What was this going to solve? What if he was in a hurry and couldn't do those things? What if he just took his morning slow and it just slipped his mind? The point is, I wasn't there when he was and all I was going to accomplish by sending a nasty-gram was an unnecessary fight.
Sure I was annoyed and wish that he would done those things to make my morning easier but really it was no big deal for me to do those things. Especially when I'm home all day. I have no rush, no place to be by a certain time, no one to answer to {well...kinda} so I have the time to take care of these things around the house. That is my job now.
I should add that normally he is very good about these things. Always makes sure we have wood for the fire, most of the time he leaves my coffee mug out and ready for me to brew my first cup o' delicious, so for him to not do those things today lets me know he must have been in a hurry and he definitely didn't need 'ish from me.
It's definitely not easy, biting one's tongue, especially in the heat of the moment. In that moment I just wanted to rip him a new one. I mean, how could he forget to do these things? But once I stepped back, thought before I spoke {for once} I realized that in doing so I would just make the morning worse, for everyone.
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Great advice! Thank you, I needed this reminder today!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right.. We all need to stop and think before speaking.. :)
ReplyDeleteI find myself doing this a lot more lately as well. It kind of feels really good to not fight over the littlest thing simply because I needed to b*tch about something he did or didn't do when in the grand scheme of things it really doesn't matter. Great advice!
ReplyDeleteI need to read this everyday from here on out. I couldn't agree with this more! Oh how I am the most guilty at sending nasty-grams!!!
ReplyDeleteI definitely need to bite my tongue more when I'm upset with my hubs! You are so right, it doesn't accomplish anything but send us into an argument! Thanks for this post :)
ReplyDeleteThis is where I struggle the most. I can have a fast and hot temper and I am so guilty at just snapping. It really doesn't accomplish anything to snap out of anger or send the nasty message. Thanks for the reminder before my husband walks back through the door!
ReplyDeleteI'm so so so guilty of the bitch-text. ahhh.
ReplyDeleteYou saved my ass last night! I had a jewelry party and ended up getting home pretty late (by my standards). I walked in the door and Big A is pissed. "Nice of you to decide to finally come home" he says. Naturally, I'm pissed. He's ALWAYS coming home late and I never do. WTF?! But, I bit my tongue and just went about my normal business. Turns out he had a HORRIBLE day and was in a bad mood. If I had snapped back it would have turned into a fight. But, I thought of you and bit my tongue and he was fine by bedtime! Thanks!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely thinking of these posts when I'm about to do something that could make my husband upset. He works nights, long hours, and sometimes weekends. Has to stay late, which means sleeping in, because he is a sup and it's his job.
ReplyDeleteThese posts are making me 'think' before I 'act!'
Do I really need to tell him how hard dinner time was with Mackenzie? He knows, he's been home at dinner time before and it'll just make him stress at work.
Do I really need to send a nasty txt to him because he forgot to do something? In the time it takes to send that txt I can just do it.
We also didn't do anything for our anniversary, it's hard when we have a toddler and he works nights. He wanted shirts, so I got him boxers and really nice shirts. More money than I wanted to spend, but EVERY day he has told me how soft these shirts are.
OK, that's much longer than planned and could be a post now. :o)
SO, THANK YOU for taking this journey. I'm learning and changing from it as I know many others are too.
I should have read this post before I went home last night because I actually snapped at my hubs last night. Fortunately, he didn't get too pissed about it and he agreed that he should have done something anyway- but he said- "I was in a rush, I was going to be late for my case" and I let it go after that. I need to learn to only say things that are relevant!
ReplyDeleteI need to do this myself more often! :)
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome! I try to keep myself in check too. But sometimes... And you're so right, it just ruins both our days.
ReplyDeletei so would've sent the bitchy text. it's sort of what i do. oops :( thanks for this reminder though
ReplyDeleteWe're supposed to count to ten first, right? So easy to forget in the heat of the moment. I may or may not be guilty of muttering these things under my breath. Like all the time. Shame on me!
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