Life After I "Dew"

I wish I could say that the third pregnancy goes by in the blink of an eye but for me that hasn't been true.   Not for me.  Not thus far.  I think because we found out so early {9DPO} and because I'm used to my babies being born in August, it feels like I should be reaching the end but I'm only to the halfway mark.  I have a feeling the next 19 weeks will go fast with school starting, soccer and Girl Scout schedules, doctors appointments and all the fall activities but, for now, I feel like we're just barely trucking along.

I've started feeling baby boy recently and that has made things very exciting.  I actually felt my very first flutter around week 13 and I couldn't believe it was happening so quickly.  Now to wait until the kids and Jimmy can feel it, that will be truly magical. My symptoms have mostly subsided with the exception of the occasional, sometimes multiple times a week, headache.  I feel my old self showing up more often which has been very welcome.  Overall it's been a great pregnancy so far.

I do struggle though.  While I don't have any complications {thank GOD} thus far, I do have issues.  Being pregnant the third time comes with it's own set of challenges like showing much earlier, being more tired because I already have two kids to take care of, and the ever changing body.  I'm OK with the first two but the last one I'm struggling with more than I thought I would.

When I first found out I was pregnant I set goals for myself.  I only wanted to gain ___ lbs, I wanted to workout the entire pregnancy {with Kendall and James I quit "working out" around 28 weeks}, and I wanted to be in better shape {physically and mentally} post-partum than I was the first two times.  Well I have failed at one of those already and that is a hard pill to swallow.  While I do think I'm on a better track this time around I'm already fearful of what I'm left with after the baby is born.

I see other moms who are due around the same time as me and their bodies don't look like mine.  Their arms are still toned, they look like they just have a basketball under their shirts, they can still fit into their regular jeans even if they have to do the rubber-band trick.  None of that is true for me- I've been in maternity pants since I peed on the stick {kidding...kind of...}, my arms and legs are already gross looking, I hate wearing shorts and tank tops, and everything just looks sloppy.  I hate to sound like a complainer but after being in the best shape of MY life, it's hard to see my body changing in the opposite way that I'm used to.

I do know that this will be our last pregnancy {insert all the "you said that before" comments here}. I want to enjoy every ounce of it and now that we know he is a boy, I'm feeling him more, and we saw his sweet face on a 3D ultrasound it's putting everything into perspective.  As each day passes I realize that my body is going to do what it wants/needs to to bring this baby boy into the world.  Of course the decisions I make will also be contributing factors but I have numerous friends who have done things drastically differently between pregnancies only to end up with the same result also.  I'm trying hard to keep it all in perspective.

I know how blessed we are to be able to get pregnant not once, not twice but now three times.  I am beyond in love with this little baby.  I never thought I'd have three kids and it excites me and terrifies me all at once.  But I know we are lucky and I never take that for granted.  I also know that I have the rest of my life to be in shape and care about my body but I don't have the rest of my life to carry children.  Thinking about it in that way really puts things into perspective for me.

So I vow, from this day forward, to embrace every part of the rest of my pregnancy- the good, the bad and the ugly.  I will look at this body with love and treat it with respect.  I promise to soak up every remaining day knowing that this is the last time I will wear the ever-so-comfy maternity pants.  I will find joy in dressing my bump.  I will continue with my exercise program unless or until I physically can't.  I will fuel my body with foods that nourish my baby.  I will love myself through the next 19ish weeks and thereafter too.

Here's to a healthy, happy pregnancy {and baby!}.

A week ago today we woke up excited, happy, not at all nervous, and ready to find out what gender the baby growing in my belly would be. We were ALL thinking it was a girl and all of my symptoms said so. This was the first time we waited until the 20 week anatomy scan to find out. With Kendall and James we opted for the elective ultrasound to confirm gender at 14 weeks but this time we debated waiting till birth to be surprised but then we quickly realized that we are far too OCD and impatient for that.

Following up with my last post, the dreaded two week wait didn't end up being positive that month {conceiving in March}.  Unfortunately my lady visitor showed up which was okay because we had literally just started trying that month.  Seeing that negative test, however, made us realize how badly we did want to add another baby to our family.

In April we started trying, for real.  With the help of the Ovia app {not sponsored} we were
successful and on May 1st I got the faintest positive pregnancy test.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I was in shock, didn't believe it so naturally I took another test and then another and another.  I think I ended up taking 5-7 tests that week, just to be sure ;-).

Telling our friends and family was super fun and we kind of let the news happen organically.  We bought the kids 'Big Sis' and 'Big Bro' tees and just had them wear them whenever we went to a gathering.  Some picked up on it right away, others it took a second.  I really wish I could have taken a video of all the reactions because some were truly shocked while others were more expecting of the news.  I loved telling people this way because the big kids got to be the stars and took some of the attention off me {fun fact: I get super awkward when I am the center of attention}.  Because of all the excitement they got when they wore those shirts, James ONLY wanted to wear his 'Big Bro' shirt for about a month straight.

So fast forward to today.  I am 11 weeks and almost out of the exhausting first trimester.  I am feeling pretty good/normal now but that hasn't been the case thus far.  Almost immediately after I peed on that stick I had a bump.  I started getting really bad headaches every day.  I was exhausted, more so than either time before.  Thankfully Kendall was still in school at that time and James still napped regularly so I was able to lay down and/or nap when I needed to.  Thankfully I've never experienced morning sickness but some days my headaches were so bad it did make me nauseous.

I've maintained my workouts thus far.  My normal routine is to get up and do yoga in the morning before I start my day.  Now that schools out for summer, and my kids seem to fight 24/7, I need something else {mid day} to keep me sane so I've been rotating through some of my old favorites on Beachbody On Demand.  There's also an Active Maternity series with Autumn Calabrese {creator of 21 Day Fix} that I am really enjoying.  Working out throughout a pregnancy is not something I've done in the past and I'm really happy with how much I've kept up with my routine so far.  I will say it's a whole new ballgame, working out in the first trimester.  I am out of breath so quickly, things are already feeling more difficult than they were just a few weeks ago, and I'm already following the modifier for my more challenging workouts.  I know once I hit the second trimester things will even out a bit but right now it's tough.

The kids and Jimmy are SO EXCITED.  The day or so after I told Jimmy the news I remember texting with him and I could feel the happiness radiating through his messages.  I think he's more excited this time than the previous two.  Kendall immediately wanted to start talking about baby names and bedroom arrangements.  The next day she went to school and told 9 friends and her teacher.  Every Thursday she gets so excited to read the weekly update and see what the size of the baby is.  It's so fun having a big kid to share it with this time around.  James, on the other hand, doesn't quite know what's going on.  He will tell you he's going to be a big bro {it's bro, not brother, he will correct you} and he says he wants it to be a boy.  When we talk about a baby in my belly he looks super confused and kind of goes on with his day.

So this baby will be our tie-breaker baby and I'm not sure if we'll find out the gender.  At first I didn't want to find out.  I thought we have one of each and wouldn't it be fun to wait until the end?  Jimmy does not agree that that would be fun, he thinks that is super stressful.  So I have a feeling we'll end up finding out and the more real this pregnancy has become the more I don't think I can wait to find out either.  The general consensus is "it's a girl".  I feel it, everyone who's given their input has said it and the Chinese gender chart says girl {it was right for my two other kids, ha!}.  So we'll see!

I've had two ultrasounds so far.  The first one was just a quick, let's ease your mind, ultrasound.  I was about 8 weeks and the baby just looked like a jellybean in there.  I had another one done this week at 10.5 weeks and it was amazing to see the difference in just two-ish weeks.  There were arms and legs and little eye sockets.  My doctors office now does 3D ultrasounds which was amazing to see this early on.  We took the kids and Kendall was mesmerized by the whole thing, it was really fun to share that with them.  I get another one in two weeks again {yay!} and then I think that's it until the big 20 week anatomy scan.

My due date is January 11 2018.  It still seems so weird to say '2018' because that's NEXT YEAR.  It also feels so weird to have a winter baby seeing as my other two are August babies.  I'm actually really excited about a winter baby!  It will be after the hustle and bustle of the holidays so we will have nothing on the schedule until spring time so we can just hunker down and snuggle in.  I'll have another c-section so the baby's birth day will probably be a few days sooner than that due date but so far he/she is measuring right on track with that date {within 2 days}.

I don't know how often I'll update on this pregnancy {my pregnancy updates with James were sporadic at best} but I want to keep some documentation for selfish reasons.  I want to take a second to thank everyone who has already congratulated us and wished us nothing but happiness so far.  Sharing the news was so exciting and it warms my heart to see how much love we have received.  Thank you, thank you, thank you and I hope you'll follow along on our adventure to a family of five!

This post was written April 26 2016.

To be honest, I don't want to hear the "but you said you were one and done" comments.  I know what I said before I was a mom and I apologize.  Yes, I planned on only having one baby and then 2 years later my mind changed.  Then again, after James was born, I swore he was our last.  I even wrote a letter to myself reminding myself how awful and miserable I am when I'm pregnant to ensure it would never happen again.  But guess what?  You never know how your heart is going to change.  You grow up.  You learn a lot through motherhood and, dammit, sometimes you change your mind.

With that being said, I don't think our family is done growing.

There, I said it.

For the past few months it's been heavy on my heart.  I go back and forth over the idea, Jimmy too.  Some days we think the idea of a 3rd Dew drop sounds blissful while other days we think we've got it pretty good with the two we've got.  It is something, however, that is always on our mind and that we talk about regularly.

We've officially started trying last week, on a whim.  It was one of those "stop over-thinking it" and just see what happens type of things so now we wait.  Honestly I feel like I could be pregnant as I type this but, alas, we have the dreaded Two Week Wait.  I literally cannot believe I am even typing these words.

The thought of a third baby scares the shit out of me, truth be told.  Some days I don't feel like I'm a good enough mom to the two we already have so why on earth would we add another to the mix?  We will officially be outnumbered {assuming we do have another}.  Two kids will end up sharing a bedroom.  We have no more baby gear except a handful of toys and an expired infant car seat.  What are we thinking?

I've been feeling like our family isn't complete for quite a few months, actually.  I would venture to say I've had "baby fever" for a year or more at this point but I've let fear get the best of me.  Our friends recently had their 4th and whenever we are together with them {which is a lot} Jimmy holds the baby and looks at me with puppy dog eyes, "can we have another".  If that doesn't give a girl The Fever, I don't know what will.  The same is true for him.  He has wavered just as much as I have but recently he's really clung to the idea of another family member.

Jimmy comes from a big family, he's one of four boys, whereas I am an only child with a relatively small extended family.  I feel as though I am well adjusted, not a brat, and not spoiled so I think I turned out OK despite not having siblings. As I grow older, however, I have really learned the value of a big family.  I watch shows like Parenthood and This Is Us and see these siblings who lean on each other and have these incredible, albeit challenging, relationships.  I watch my husband have the same sort of connections with his brothers.  I see all of my extended in-law family and how fun {and funny} they are and I love spending the holidays with them.  I see the bond my own kids have and all of this makes my heart swell.  I am ready for one more.

The first two pregnancies happened pretty fast once we started trying and, while I was uncomfortable and crabby towards the end, I had pretty easy pregnancies as well.  I am approaching 35 {aka advanced maternal age} so that does leave me a little worried that this time won't happen as quickly.  I know that this is already mapped out for us and it's truly in God's hands so I rest knowing that whatever happens is what is meant to be.  I would be honored to love on another Dew baby, if we are so fortunate.  I think my big kids would love welcoming a little brother or sister and I know my husband would be the most excited.

Here's to the next chapter...

The other night I was holding James.  He was cooing at me, smiling with his whole face and bringing tears to my eyes, as he usually does at this level of cuteness. I am just in awe of this little man.  So in love.

If you've been a long time reader of this Hot Mess Express you know that after we had Kendall we were all "one and done" in the baby making department.  Not because of anything else other than the fact that we felt comfortable and complete as a family of three.  And then something hit me right around Kendall's 2nd birthday and I got The Fever.  We decided to have another baby.

The best decision I ever made.

Hold up, before you go getting all, "I can't believe she just said that!  What about Kendall?", let me explain.  When we got pregnant it wasn't really a decision, per se.  We were hot on the heels of our honeymoon and threw caution and birth control to the wind and BAM! we were pregnant.  We didn't give it much thought, just kinda said, "if it happens, it happens" and, well, 9 months later this beautiful girl made me a mama.
But James?  His conception was thought about and talked about and "timed" and was something we really knew we wanted to do before doing it.  If you know Jimmy and I we are very impulsive and don't usually give things too much thought which can sometimes be good, sometimes be bad.  So the fact that we talked and thought for months before was the longest we had ever contemplated anything.  And for good reason too, growing and raising a tiny human is no easy task and not one you do just because your fellow bloggers are doing it.

I posted a picture of us, as a family, on Instagram recently and one of the comments I got was, "I'm so glad you guys decided to have another baby." and it hit me, so am I.

He's just what this family needed.  I'm so thankful that we took the time to make our decision but at the same time, now that he's here, I'm wondering why we ever doubted adding another member to our family.  He makes us complete.  He makes us smile and he's made me see a whole, new side of Kendall that I never knew existed.  It's amazing.
He makes our family complete and our lives better.  I will forever love what adding him to our family has done for us, as a family.  He's the best decision I ever made.

As we are one {ONE!} day away from meeting our newest family member we've been trying to make
these last days as a family of three as special as possible.  Kendall stayed up a little later this weekend, she got special pink pancakes with sprinkles and powdered sugar for breakfast and Jimmy and I even got to sneak away Saturday for a little last date/wedding action.

It's hard to believe that three years ago we were moving into our house, setting up the nursery and anxiously awaiting the birth of our first-born, little girl.  Those days were full of so much anticipation, "is today the day?",  wonder, "who will she look like?", and excitement, "our first child!".  These past few days have been no different except this time it's been a lot busier and easier to keep our minds of off, thanks to a very busy, almost three-year-old.

It's also strange to think how certain we were that Kendall was going to be our only child.  One and done, we said.  It wasn't because she was a bad baby or that we struggled it was just, at that time, we felt complete.  Then something changed last summer.  We started thinking, if we are going to do this we better do it soon, and we decided that we didn't feel complete after all.  Jimmy talked to his dad, who had four boys, and his dad told him, "the greatest gift you can give your child is a sibling".  Being an only child myself I didn't really get it but Jimmy did.

I can't imagine what our lives are going to be like with a little boy in tow.  I never thought I'd be a boy mom. When I was pregnant with Kendall I knew I wanted a girl and couldn't have imagined them telling us anything differently when we went in for that gender scan.  This time I was much more open {since I already got my girl} but in the back of my mind I thought, "What am I going to do with a boy?  I know NOTHING about boys!".  When we found out we would be welcoming a son into our family I remember texting Jimmy one night {during his stint on night shift} and saying "I'm so glad we are having a boy!" and I truly meant it.

People warn you about going from one to two kids.  How hard it is, how different it is and how unexpected it is.  I get it but at the same time these are also the people who told me how hard newborns were and I'd take a newborn over a three-year-old any day.  I know that we will have our bad days but I also know, I truly believe in my heart, that our good days will outweigh our bad.

As we spend these last few days, hours, with our only child I hope that she knows the joy, love, happiness, pride, twinkle in my eye she's brought us over the past three years.  While I know she'll never remember these days as an only child, instead her memories will only know life with a little brother, I hope that in this moment she knows what a light she's been in our lives.  We have our ups and downs with her but I wouldn't trade my spunky, headstrong, fun-loving, beautiful little girl for anything.  She's been my biggest challenge but also the most rewarding.

Our family of three will soon be a family of four and while I have NO IDEA what the future has in store for us I know that it means we are going to be full of more love than we've ever known.  I know that this little boy is going to be loved and kissed on just as much as his big sister and I know that everyone is anxiously awaiting his arrival just as much, if not more.

If you've been pregnant before you know that nothing invites more unsolicited advice and comments than a baby bump.  People see you waddling into Target and immediately they're full of information, questions, comments, concerns that you never planned on discussing, with a stranger.  From parenting advice to how you should stock up on sleep now to tips on how to get through labor and delivery, everyone is an expert when it comes to pregnancy.  Honestly, I don't even know why we need OB/GYNs because it seems as though every Tom, Dick and Harry is qualified to give you all the information you'll need for the next nine{ish} months.

When I was pregnant with Kendall I remember a lady walking up to me in the bathroom, I was roughly four months pregnant at the time, and she asked me, "When are you due?!" and I remember being so caught off guard, as she was the first total stranger to ask me about my barely noticeable bump.  Obviously I was pregnant otherwise that would have pissed me off in a totally different way but I remembered thinking that I was not showing that much, not enough for a complete and total stranger to ask, hell I don't even think I was wearing maternity clothes at that point.  So, the point here is unless you know, for a fact, that someone is pregnant, it is not nice to assume and ask about their due date.  Unless they are very noticeably, like 9 months, pregnant.

Which brings me to point numero dos.  Do not comment on the size of a woman's baby bump.  I don't care if I she started showing from the day I she peed on a stick.  I She doesn't want to hear that it looks like she's having twins, ever.  This is especially true when it comes to the opposite sex.  A man should never comment on a woman's growing figure, ever.  When we went to a wedding the beginning of June {I was roughly 7-8 months pregnant} one of Jimmy's friends asked when I was due and when I replied "August" his reaction was, "OH WOW!  I was hoping you were going to say soon so that there was an end in the near future" or something to that effect.  Excuse me?  Douche bag says what?!  True story people.  It's hard enough to accept the fact that your body is changing and growing and getting more out of control by the day but it's quite another thing to have someone remind you of it with stupid comments like that one.  Just don't do it.  Think it to yourself, tell other people behind my back but do not tell me that I, basically, look like a whale.  I'm, most likely, fully aware.

Last week I was in heaven, aka Target alone, and treated myself to my favorite TALL {as in small} iced caramel macchiato when the barrista {I hesitate to even call her that} asked me, "Is that OK for your pregnancy?".  Umm...no but the six pack of Miller Lite I just picked up in aisle 13 is.  YES.  I'm pretty sure caffeine, in moderation, is fine for pregnant ladies {my doctor has approved me to drink caffeine, I know some people are advised not to}.  Not to mention, the drink I got was like 90% milk so there's that.

My boobs are huge, yes they are.  Even when I'm not pregnant I'm a 32DD so pregnancy only makes it more impossible to find a bra at a reasonable price.  I'm fully aware of this.  Instead of saying, "Holy boobs batman!" when you see my pic on IG, just think it to yourself.  I'm already self-conscious about them, especially when I have to get my already large maternity clothes in a next size bigger just to accommodate my milk makers.  It's embarrassing and while I don't embarrass easy this is one thing that makes me very uncomfortable.

Now the sleep comment I haven't gotten so much this time around but when I was pregnant with Kendall, and anxiously willing her out of my body, I had so many people tell me to just enjoy my kid-free life and SLEEP.  Like every single person told me to take naps all day every day, as if I could store up this sleep and cash it in when the baby was born.  I have news for you, you can't bank sleep.  You can't catch up on sleep.  You can't pre-sleep your future.  It doesn't work that way.  I wish it did, oh how I wish it did, but it doesn't.  So telling someone who is so big and uncomfortably pregnant to sleep while they can is really not helpful nor is it something they want to hear.  Instead give them tips on things that will actually work for helping to get the baby to come out, sex, walking, spicy food, but not sleep.

The comment we {Jimmy and I both have heard it more times that we care to count} get now more than ever is, "Just wait".  As in, "Just wait till you have two."  As in, "you think ONE is hard, just wait till there's TWO."  OK, I get it, two is more than one, that's just simple math.  I also get that two kids means twice the work, twice the crying, twice the mouths to feed but it also means twice the love.  Warning me about how much life is about to suck is not nice or helpful.  Just like the dicks who tell you, "Oh you think The Terrible Twos are bad?  Just wait till she's 3, 4, 5 {whatever their least favorite age was}".  It's not encouraging to tell people that their life is about to suck worse than they already think it does.

So many times have I wanted to react to these types of situations by playing dumb "Oh what?  I'm sorry, I'm not pregnant" or acting like what dumb shit they just informed me of was actually helpful, "Oh really? I'll start sleeping NOW.  Thanks!" Instead I usually just smile and nod.  After all if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, right?

Having a baby is a scary thing.  You are all the sudden responsible for this little life and there is no instruction manual.  Having a baby the second time around is equally as scary but for a whole new list of reasons.

In some ways having a second baby is easier.  You kind of know what to expect in terms of hospital stays, postpartum dressing, learning your own baby versus what's "normal", etc.  Although each baby is different some things are just trial and error and therefore making each baby after the first a little less "scary" because you aren't afraid to try or do things that you think are right, regardless of what is "normal".

However, with that being said, I have run into a whole new set of fears as we get ready for Baby Brother's arrival.  No longer am I afraid of things like sleeping through the night {it'll happen eventually} or feeding on schedule {babies eat when they're hungry} or even going out in public {you just have to do it}.

Now I worry about things like love.  With your first you are guaranteed to love them with your whole entire heart no one else is filling that space so naturally your first born has it.  I read about a lot of people being fearful of not being able to love their second as much as their first and that's where I'm different.  I'm afraid I will love him more than her.  Hear me out.  With Kendall I had to go back to work after 8 weeks, she was still a tiny baby.  I worked until she was 18 months old and I feel like that period of her life is such a blur that I barely remember things like when she started crawling, her first word, and when she got her first tooth.  I remember things like our first family vacation when she was 5 months old, waiting in line to see Santa that first year and how adorable she was in my brother-in-laws wedding but that's because those were major moments. I hate that I feel like I was robbed of those precious months because of a job but that was a part of our story.  Now I'll be home with James Weston and I'll get to experience all of these things that I feel like I missed with her and that makes me feel like I'll be closer with him.  Partner that with the hopes of a successful breastfeeding journey and it's like a recipe for more James love.  Or is it?

I think about my weight loss the second time around.  Will I be as successful as I was the first time?  I am already in a better place than I was when I was pregnant with Kendall.  My weight gain, thus far, has been the same but my mind is in a totally different place.  After I had her I kind of felt like "well this is my new body" and just dealt with it for 6ish months before I decided to do something about it.  This time I'm ready now.  I already know I'll be doing MyFitnessPal again {counting calories} and I want to start on day one.  I am ready to have control of my body again but will my body respond the same way?  It's all unknown.  I know that no matter what I will share my journey just as I did last time so stay tuned.

I'm nervous about how my relationship with Jimmy will be affected.  Right now we are in a good groove, we know what to expect from Kendall and how to respond as well as making time for each other.  We have date nights because it's easy to find a babysitter for one kid.  We have a few hours in the evening alone because Kendall goes to bed at the same time {mostly} each night.  But a new baby means a new set of issues.  Will we be able to get a sitter for two kids?  James Weston might not go to sleep when his big sister does therefore intruding on our husband-wife time.  Will I be so stressed out after spending all day alone with two kids that I take it out on him when he comes home from a long day at work?  I hope not but I'm sure it'll happen on occasion {I apologize in advance Jim-bo}.  A new person brings a whole new set of struggles and I just hope that it doesn't impact us negatively but rather brings us closer together.

And then there's Big Sister.  I pray daily that she just slides into her new role as Big Sister as smoothly as possible.  I hope that it's love at first sight when she sees her Baby Brother and kisses him for the first time.  The truth of the matter is it could really go either way.  I can totally see her being all lovey-dovey towards him and helping me with him and just doting on him in every way possible.  Then there is the opposite which I can also see happening too.  Will she be resentful that I can't just drop what I'm doing and play tea party?  Is she going to feel like I'm pawning her off when I take her to preschool less than a month after he's born?  Is she going to regress when she sees him with his pacifier and remembers that it wasn't too long ago that she had one too?  I don't know, I just don't know.

So while having your first baby is beyond scary and all unknown, I think that the second time around is equally scary and for equally important reasons.  I know I'm not the first one to have a second child and that several millions of women have done this before me, and lived to tell about it.  Only 6 more days and then it's on to a whole new set of worries!

You know that old saying, "it takes a village to raise a child"?  Well it truly does and in this final week of pregnancy numero dos I am realizing how true that is.

Let's face it people, I am not a pleasant pregnant person.  I wasn't the first time around and, dare I say it, it's even worse this time because oh my goodness the toddler stuff.  I don't have the option to sit down and relax when my feet are on fire.  I can't take a nap even though it feels like little magical fairies are pulling at my eyelids, willing them closed.  I cannot relax in a warm bath to sooth my achy back whenever I want to.  My toddler/preschooler demands my attention and she deserves it too.

This week I set out to have a great last week as a family of three.  I was going to say "yes" to more things, turn the TV off, get out of the house, and just truly be happy and present.  Yesterday we were off to a great start.  We returned a few duplicate toys, got some lunch, met some friends to play and Kendall took a glorious nap.  And then came dinner.

She refuses to eat dinner.  She "doesn't like" anything, or so it seems right now.  She didn't want to sit in her chair.  She was just the definition of defiant.  I felt my heart start to pound and was literally sweating when I just got up and excused myself from the table {Jimmy was still sitting with her}.

I went in our bedroom with my new Glamour magazine and flipped through the whole thing before emerging back out to the scene of the crime.  I just needed a mommy time out.

Last night was epic.  In the 6 months that Kendall has been sleeping through the night in panties we've only had three "accidents" at night.  I consider that a win.  Last night was the worst of them all, soaked through the sheet, mattress pad, down to the mattress and when I picked up a HYSTERICAL Kendall she was literally dripping in pee.  Oy.  Top it off when I got into the linen closet to get fresh sheets for her I stepped in a huge puddle of dog pee.  My night was full of pee, ya'll.

This morning I was determined to make it a good one, remember we only have one more week as a family of one child, but yet again things went downhill quickly.  We have to get a new garage door installed tomorrow {$$$}, there is never ending road construction right in front of our house making it miserable to even get out of my driveway, I think the dog has a urinary tract/bladder infection, and I won't even go into the issues that I'm having with my very pregnant body.

Thank God for my mother-in-law.  It's like she could sense my blood pressure rising this morning because just when I thought I was going to literally lose my mind my phone rang and she was offering to keep Kendall for a few hours.  Even winning the lottery wouldn't have felt as good as that phone call this morning.

As much as I want to be the best mom in the world and do it all, the truth is in order to be that mom I need others.  I need my mother-in-law to make that phone call.  I need a time out in my room while Jimmy finishes dinner and takes care of bath one night.

I debated writing and publishing this post because I don't want to seem ungrateful but the truth of the matter is being a mom is hard.  To the women who do it without family nearby and single moms, you guys rock.  Seriously I don't know how you do it and you deserve a medal or a shopping trip or an endless supply of wine because you are doing something I could never do.

Today's post is brought to you by the letter 'P'.  But not really.

***
So Kendall starts preschool in just over a month. I am excited, anxious, nervous {for her}, but most all I'm really really happy.  I know that she is going to thrive in a more structured environment with a schedule and someone else teaching her.  It's especially good that it's happening so soon to her becoming a Big Sister because preschool will be her special thing.  Something she'll have to look forward to {hopefully} and will get her out of the house at least two days a week.  She's so smart and I can't wait to see her grow.

With that being said, what the heck do I send her to school with?  We had to pay an extra $15 with the first month's tuition for school supplies so does that mean I don't need to send her with any?  I kinda started looking forward to stuffing her little Dora backpack full of colored pencils, a notepad and box of tissues but maybe I don't need to do that?  I have no idea.  Also do I just send her in tennis shoes the first day? I have a feeling that play clothes are going to be recommended so I don't think sending her in her cutest sundress and sandals is probably a good idea, right?  Help this preschool newbie mom out!

***
So we are nearing The End with this pregnancy business.  I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, 16 more days {but who's counting?}.  I'm still hoping that I somehow have him before then but at least I know that the longest I have to wait is just over two more weeks.  I cannot wait to see his little face, see what color hair he has {if any}, if he has the Dew little button nose and most of all I cannot wait for my Big Girl to meet her Baby Brother that we've been talking about for roughly 9 months.

The other day Jimmy and I were talking about being pregnant and we both agreed that I am not a pleasant pregnant lady and Jimmy asked if anyone actually liked being pregnant.  I know there are people who love it, I've read their blogs and I am one of them until about 28 weeks at which point I am d-o-n-e.  I shouldn't complain because I have relatively easy pregnancies however the last trimester is torture.  Things ache, body parts that you usually aren't aware of are suddenly screaming with pain, and the anticipation of your new arrival is just enough to send you into a frenzy.

***
Are you experiencing this blast of fall weather like we are in Ohio?  It's glorious, isn't it?  I mean the highs have been in the mid 70s which means our windows are wide open and the fresh air feels amazing.  It's like a pregnant woman's dream come true forecast.  We had a cookout with our friends yesterday and I even wore a jean jacket, it was glorious.  However, I am not ready for summer to be over.  Would you believe that the stores have Oktoberfest out already?  True story.  So the 70s can stay but the winter better not be soon behind because I still have a couple pool days left in my system.

***
Kendall's 3rd birthday party is this weekend.  I cannot believe this is the 3rd party I've planned for her, 3rd!  Crazy business.  This year I'm keeping it simple {hello I'm 100 months pregnant} and letting the fine folks at Chuck-E-Cheese do the dirty work, literally.  I am so happy we went with this decision mainly because it's Kendall's favorite place on Earth but also because of the easy factor.  I just show up 15 minutes prior to party time with cupcakes and they take care of the rest {even favor bags!!!}.  Surprisingly it wasn't that expensive either, I'm pretty sure I spend more between decorations, food, presents, etc throwing a party at home.   And?  I get to leave the mess there?  Win, win.
We've been saying for months that Kendall's Big Sister gift was going to be the Pinky Pie Pony from Build-A-Bear.  Well, wouldn't you know, we went to "build" it this weekend and she's gone.  Discontinued.  #parentfail.  We did get a brochure all about Twilight Sparkle, the newest My Little Pony to join the Build-A-Bear team, so hopefully we can sell her on it before the 14th.  Meanwhile, she's still talking about Pinky Pie...

36 weeks. 23 {maybe less} days left to go.

To say I'm ready and excited to meet this little dude would be an understatement.  I thought I was anxious with Kendall, I am 110 times more anxious this time.  The second time around is no joke, people.

I feel great, for the most part, still.  I'm starting to get "lightening crotch", seriously where did that term come from?  I swear if I walk for any length of time it feels like something is trying to poke it's way out of my body.  I don't know if I remember that with Kendall but WOWZA!  My feet are pretty achy and I have to wear shoes at all times now.  My back is also starting to hurt more these days and so I've been making myself relax, take an Epsom salt bath when I can and it really does help, a lot.

Other than that?  We are just sitting around, anxiously awaiting our newest, fourth family member.  His room is ready, I've started to pack my hospital bag, c-section has been scheduled.  Who knows, I may end up installing the infant seat in the car this week if I get crazy.  Big Sister has been showing signs of readiness too, I think.  She's been playing with her Baby Brother doll a ton and she's been a super mama's girl and I can't help but wonder if it's because she knows her days as an only child are limited?

Remember how I swore I wouldn't gain with James Weston what I gained while pregnant with Kendall?  Well, never say never.  So far I am just two pounds shy of what I weighed the day I had Kendall Paige, almost 3 years ago.  Fail.  But I swear, maybe it's because my hair was shorter when I was pregnant with her, I don't feel as huge.  I much prefer my belly this time around though, it's higher and more round and I feel like it's smaller.  Jimmy was shocked when I told him that I'm pushing my Kendall weight because he feels like I look smaller {better} this time too {thanks, Babe!}.

Even though I've felt good this entire pregnancy {for the most part} I am so over it.  I forgot how miserable the final weeks are.  I am not complaining {yes I am} because it is all totally worth it, obviously, but dudes!  The summer heat and a 30-40 lb weight gain is no joke.  I sweat just standing outside, not even doing anything.  It's making for a very indoor kind of summer which I hate because I love summer, I love the pool, I love laying out, and I love taking Kendall to the park.  All of those things have been done this summer but very minimal and that makes me sad.  I am just ready to start feeling like "me" again.

I've started thinking about post-partum and even indulged in a little retail therapy.  Silly me, once I lost all my weight after Kendall I got rid of all my "fat girl" clothes so thankfully Old Navy had a killer sale last week and I got a few things that will hopefully make me feel better during my transition.  I will be using My Fitness Pal to track my calories again since it worked so well for me the first time.  Dare I say I miss tracking?  I just can't wait to be in control of my body again and feel "normal".

Until then, we wait.

This Sunday I hit a pivotal time in pregnancy, 35 weeks with 35 days left until we meet our sweet boy.  I
mean that's huge, right?  I always thought the whole 35/35 thing was really cool.  Anyway...

We had our final ultrasound yesterday, to check things out for scheduling the repeat c-section and I am happy to report that James Weston looks "perfect", their words not mine. He's head down, fluids all look great and he's measuring around 5 lbs 11 oz.  All great news for this mama.  While we didn't get a really good look at his face I am just relieved that he got the green light in terms of development and such.

His birthday is officially scheduled for August 14.

For those of you who are new around here, Kendall's birthday is August 16.  So I hope she wants a baby brother for her 3rd birthday.


I am so happy to have a date in mind.  It makes it so much more real and I can finally start to make plans for this exciting time.  Heck, I'll probably even pack my hospital bag now.  Also, this means we have less than ONE MONTH until we are no longer a family of three but a family of four.  Four.  Wow.

I know there is still a chance he could come sooner, if I go into labor on my own, and let me tell you, I'd welcome that.  I doubt that will happen seeing as though I was induced 9 days late with Kendall and she still didn't want to come out.  I am so ready to be done with this pregnancy it's not even funny.  I remember being, put-a-fork-in-me, done with Kendall but I think this time I'm so much more anxious.  I just cannot wait to get my hands on this little guy and I think the closer we get the more excited Kendall's getting too.

I've mentioned having a repeat/scheduled c-section before and it's raised a few questions.  Do you want to try a VBAC?  It's always risky going in for a major surgery.  Do you worry about recovery?  And while those are all very valid questions and concerns I can honestly say that I feel 100% comfortable and confident in my decision to have another c-section.

Kendall never dropped.  Even once the doctor opened me up he said that normally when you've labored for hours, like I did, the baby is in the canal but she wasn't.  She was right on top of my stomach so a c-section was definitely the best decision.  So far, James Weston has been measuring high too, just like his sister, and while I know a lot can happen in 4-5 weeks but I feel like this is what's best.

The next 4ish weeks are going to be so full of anticipation.  I am so glad we have a lot of events coming up, a  couple of birthday parties, Kendall's 3rd birthday, a wedding, so hopefully time will fly by.  At the same time I feel like we should be soaking up each and every minute we have left as a family of three because before long I won't even know what it's like to have an only child.

James Weston is going to be one lucky boy.  We are all so excited to meet him, see what he looks like and shower him with nothing but love.

This is for future reference.  I know that by the time James Weston is 2 or 3 I'll get the itch and so I need to remind myself of a few things.

Dear Shannon {who thinks that another baby sounds like a good idea},

Yes, you have great pregnancies.  It's always a little scary the first time around because you have no idea what to expect.  Will I get morning sickness?  Will I gain more than the recommended 25-30 lbs.?  Will I get stretch marks?  Will my feet swell?  Will I be a raging biatch?  You had it good with Kendall, it was relatively easy, you didn't get morning sickness, while you gained more than you wanted to {or your doctor recommended} you lost it and then some, you got some stretch marks but that comes with the territory and you never had those awful swollen feet.  The mood swings? Yeah they were a nightmare and Jimmy still won't let you live those down but all in all, you had it good mama.

James Weston has proven to be just as easy so that whole girl pregnancies being different from boy pregnancies isn't true for you.  Minus the achy feet at the end of the day you are pretty much symptom-less.  You are lucky mama and it seems like you were born to grow babies.  Birthing them is a different story, as evident by your c-section scar, but carrying one for 9 months?  You do it well.  Maybe too well.

BUT don't fool yourself now.  You might be thinking, "but this time I won't let the hormones get the best of me" or "I won't gain what I did last time" and I want to tell you, you are wrong.  You told yourself that when you got pregnant with James Weston, you had learned your lesson from your pregnancy with Kendall.  Guess what?  You have gone down the same hormonal path both times.  Except being pregnant while already parenting a child, in this case two, is a whole new ball game.

You know how after a stressful day you can relax with a nice cold one or glass of wine?  Well you can kiss that good-bye for nine long months.  It's going to be even harder this time than last {and you thought it was hard last time, remember?} now that you have two kiddos driving you nuts.  Enjoy your adult bevies, OK?

Those nice relaxing evenings with Jimmy?  Kiss them good-bye because he's going to keep on keeping on and relaxing the night away while you worry about stupid things like whether the Scentsy warmer is turned off or not.  It's not fun for your marriage to get pregnant again, Jimmy's probably still reminding you of this.

Remember how much pregnancy sleep sucks?  You need at least 4 pillows and even then you can't manage to get comfortable.  You are normally OK with your queen sized bed but once you become a human furnace you can't find bed big enough because God forbid Jimmy roll over and breath near you in the middle of the night.  It sucks.

Let's talk about that hot body you are {hopefully} rockin.  Kiss it good-bye too.  Remember how hard you worked to get there after Kendall was born and then you swore to yourself that you would not gain what you gained with her when you got pregnant with James Weston?  Well you are no good at promises and fail miserably at the not gaining too much weight department.  You will most likely gain even more the third time around and that is not OK.  Enjoy being skinny!

Let's just say if you have one more baby you are going to be outnumbered when it comes to the kid to parent ratio and that's not OK.  You can barely keep it together some days so another one in the mix isn't going to help things.  Instead, go visit a friend who just had a baby or, better yet, read this.  You'll thank me later and so will your body and husband.

xo,
Me

Let's talk about push presents for a hot minute, shall we?

Diamond earrings, necklaces, charm bracelets, birthstone rings, all seem to be typical push present gifts.  Sure, I would take any/all of the above, but there are a few more things that top my list and none of them require a visit to the jeweler.

• Boob job.  I'm not talking implants, people.  I just want a nice lift and tuck.  I mean I haven't even breastfed {yet} but I needed one of these bad boys before I ever saw those two pink lines.  I'd take a reduction too.  Please and thank you.
• Victoria's Secret gift card.  Ladies, if you have been pregnant you know the toll it takes on your under garments.  If you haven't been pregnant, this is your warning.  You will need all new underwear once all is said and done.  Yes you will.
• Polar watch/gym membership/personal trainer.  Let's face it, I want all the help I can get this time around because I want to be back in my old body, like yesterday.  Perhaps it would just be easier to wire my mouth shut.
• Wine.  Or basically any alcohol will do after 9 months of abstaining.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, being pregnant while raising a toddler is a whole different ball game and I hope someone recognizes that and is ready and waiting to hand me a Blue Moon the minute James Weston is in this world safely. 
• House cleaner.  Y'all I have been harping this issue since day one.  I want a house cleaner and I can't think of a better time to hire one than after a baby is born.  Mama is up to her ears in laundry, toys and dishes as it is and you know what?   I just want to snuggle my newborn as much as possible because I know how fast those precious days go by.  The last thing I want to do is vacuum up 9 lbs of dog hair a day.
• Massage/spa day.  If you are like me you already love a good spa day but after carrying around an extra 20, 30, 40 lbs for 9 months nothing sounds nicer than, no less than, a 60 minute back rub.  
• Work out clothes.  Nothing will motivate me to get The Skinnies back like a cute new pair of compression capris or adorable workout tank {ahem, Thread Eleven anyone?}.  Throw in a new pair of running shoes and I'm down 20 lbs just thinking about my pre-baby self.

You know, because I'm a second time mom I am Miss Know-It-All and that gives me some sort of authority to give unsolicited advice when it comes to all things pregnancy, parenting, babies, toddlers and whatnot. Kidding, kind of.

I have learned a thing or two in my almost three years into this mom gig. I learned that you really don't need 16 sets of receiving blankets.  You can make a birth plan but certainly don't expect things to go exactly as you have planned, it never goes that way.  When you bring that baby home and people offer to bring you food, help you clean your house, hold the baby so you can shower take them up on it.  This is the only time it is acceptable to sit on your ass while people cater to you.  And, you really don't need all that shit in your hospital bag, contrary to what the lists on Pinterest tell you.

As I approach The End {ha!} I am trying to get things ready, clean the house, have the clothes washed, and pack the dreaded hospital bag. Lots of other bloggers are on this same adventure right now so I'm feeling the pressure every time I open Instagram and see a freshly packed Vera Bradly Overnight Bag.  I didn't really stress over what to pack with Kendall yet here I am, a second time mom, wondering what on Earth I really need.  Then it dawned on me, the reason I'm not stressed about it is because I packed a normal amount the last time and never felt like I forgot or needed anything and so why do it different this time?

For the baby you don't need much. Trust me.  As far as clothes go, he/she is going to wear the hospital provided kimono top unless or until you take hospital pictures and/or go home.  Pack one, maybe two, outfits and be done with it.  Same goes with blankets, although this time I am taking one of my own but you definitely don't need more than two, tops.  Take some mittens and booties because I don't think the hospital provides those and take a cute hat because we all know how long and hard I searched for The Perfect Hospital Hat {I just like my babies to be original and have their own sense of style from day one}.  Maybe take a pacifier but again the hospital has those so don't stress if you forget one.  Newborns sleep a lot so when I see carseat toys on the lists I laugh, seriously?!  But don't forget the carseat, that's kind of necessary if you ever want to bust out of that joint.  But actually, the hospital provides those too so it's OK if you forget it too.  Oh and bottles, don't bother.  I brought some when I had Kendall and that was dumb.  She ate out of the ready-made bottles for a good 3 days, save yourself the trouble, you won't use them.

As for you, what would you normally pack for a two night stay?  That's basically what you'll need to pack this time.  Toiletries {shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hair ties, face wash, blow dryer, deodorant, toothbrush, etc}are a must, go ahead and take some makeup even.  As for clothes, I wore the hospital gown the entire first day {remember I was in the hospital for four days thanks to an unplanned c-section} and only changed out of it because of visitors.  I packed 2 gaucho pants, 2 sports bras, and 2 tee shirts and I wore a maxi dress home.  Fancy, I know.  Honestly I'll probably do the same thing this time because it was comfortable, didn't bother my incision, and I looked somewhat put together {more so than in gauchos and a sloppy tee}.  You don't really need pads {TMI but I know you were wondering} because they provide you with the ultimate overnight pads while you are there.

A few things that I find comical when I read these lists {besides the toys for the newborn} are your own delivery gown.  I mean, seriously, you are going to get Lord knows what on it, why waste money on bringing your own?  Snacks and drinks are a little bit ridiculous because you can't eat or drink so why bother?  Plus, again, the hospital will give you water so save yourself the room in your bag and don't pack bottled water.  Call me crazy but I think taking books, magazines, and/or DVDs is also unnecessary.  While you are in labor the last thing you are going to think is "Hey!  I really think I want to watch The Hangover Part II."  No, you are going to think "OMG is this going to end!?" and want to just be present with your husband in your final moments before your world gets turned upside down.  And after the baby?  Psh you are just going to want to stare at and hold that sweet little bundle, a movie, book or magazine will be the furthest thing from your mind.  But do take your laptop, iPad, phone, camera and chargers for all of the above.

Some things that I didn't bring last time and will probably bring this time are some slippers or those comfy, cozy stay-at-home socks, a pillow of my own and one for Jimmy, the boppy {because I plan to breastfeed this time}, and a big sister gift for Kendall {obviously}.  That's it.  I mean I'll take my ID and insurance cards, since those are on every list {seems like a no-brainer to me though}.

See it's really not that big of a deal, don't stress yourself out.  This coming from someone who planned on a two day stay, wound up with a four day stay and still didn't feel like I missed or forgot anything.  And if you do?  I'm sure the hospital has it or worse case scenario the gift shop does or there is a CVS near by.  Don't stress.

Everyone says that pregnancy the second time around goes SO FAST. Those people are lying.  OK maybe not lying but those people are not me.  I'm not going to complain, ok maybe a little, because I've had a great pregnancy {both times} really but DUDES is it over yet?  I'm officially at that point, but hear me out.

This time I have a toddler, well almost preschooler, and that makes this time around a little bit tricky.  See, while I feel great I am getting to the point where I can't do the things I {and Kendall} want to do.  Jump at the bounce house?  I don't think that Baby Brother would like that.  Run around the playground?  I get out of breath going up and and down 3 steps.  Heck even carrying her a short distance is getting too much now.  And yes I realize she is old enough and most definitely capable of walking any/everywhere but sometimes it's just easier and faster to pick her up.  But those days are getting numbered, I'm just going to get used to thinks taking a little bit longer and moving a little bit slower.

I feel bad when she wants me to "spin wiff me mommy!" and I get dizzy after one twirl.  I hate that the things I used to be able to do, that I loved to do are now just impossible.  Makes my mommy heart sad.

I had promised myself to make this summer her best one yet since it's her last one as an only child and some days I feel like I'm failing at that.  I mean we have no shortness of fun most days but some days it's parenting from the couch for the win.  I know she won't even remember these days but I will and I want them to be happy memories.

Then there's the weight gain/big belly.  I swear it's because I'm so short {5'3" on a good day} that I show so soon and look bigger than whatever given week I'm in.  I was reminded of this on Saturday when we went to a wedding.  Total strangers were all "when are you due?" and I assume they were expecting me to say "tomorrow" because when I said "oh...August" I got wide eyes and gaping mouths, "oh honey, I'm sorry!  I was hoping there was relief in the near future." was just one of the responses I got.  Gee, thanks.  What not to say to a pregnant woman, rule number one!  Oh and the boob comments.  Like I don't realize they need their own zip code.  I am the one that just bought a 36G bra, I'm well aware that they are out of control, I do not need any reminders.

The past few weeks have brought on a little bit of discomfort.  My feet are achy now which actually happened a lot sooner with KP.  My right hip hurts almost constantly.  I had a maternity massage this weekend and the masseuse could tell that it was definitely my problem area and worked on it a bit longer than everything else.  I'm still not sure if that helped or made it worse.  But other than that, I'm pretty complaint free.  Honest.

I'm really trying to enjoy these pregnant moments because I'm almost 100% positive that this will be our last pregnancy and baby.  I love the baby kicks and rolls.  I love getting all the baby stuff out again.  I love the excitement that comes along with a new baby.  I am so thankful that I've felt amazing this whole time and have avoided morning sickness, swollen feet and pregnancy acne with both of my pregnancies.

The thing about this time around is there is a lot less "prep" work too.  I mean we already have things like the swing, pack n play, bassinet, etc and the nursery is set up, clothes are washed, his bag is packed so it's like we are just waiting around for a baby to show up!  A lot of my preparedness has to do with the fact that we aren't buying and moving into our first home 2 months before D-day either.  Oh and I'm a SAHM now too, so that helps.

I'm still not sure what to think about Kendall.  It could really go either way with her, she could be the best, most loving, helpful big sister ever or completely hate the idea.  I'm hoping for the first scenario, obviously, and doing my best to prepare her in hopes of her getting really excited when he's here.  My BFF just had a baby 2 weeks ago and we've been around her twice now and Kendall is interested and says things like "look at her tiny feet!!!"  but then she doesn't want to hold her or anything which is actually cool with me.  I'd love it if she were like that with her brother but only time will tell.

Oh another thing, wine is harder to abstain from this time around.  I blame The Toddler/Terrible Twos-Almost Threes.  That's all.

staple.  I lived in dresses when I was pregnant with her.  They worked for the weekends but also for my 9-5 job, they were prefect.  This time I had to invest in a couple of pairs of shorts because dresses just don't make much sense at the park.  But I need a tan before I go wearing these shorts too much.  I got these in black and white so that I could mix and match them with a number of tops.  Easy, peasy.

Here we are, 25 weeks, so close to being done with the 2nd trimester and entering my third and final trimester.  Holy cow!

I am still feeling great!  I mean great, really.  I have said it a hundred times over, if I didn't know I was pregnant I wouldn't know. Minus the fact that I feel him moving constantly and my clothes continue to get smaller.

Baby boy has been very active lately, mostly at night, and I love it. I have to say that feeling movement is definitely the best part of pregnancy and the part that I'll miss the most.  Love feeling baby kicks!

Still haven't had any outrageous pregnancy symptoms. No weird cravings, no unusual aches & pains, no crazy dreams.  I'd say the only thing I'm noticing is that I get tired a lot quicker.  Walking on the treadmill has become and actual workout. Where I was walking at a 3.5 and incline of 3, now I can only do 2.5 at incline 3. And I'm sweating when it's done.  So that's fun.  But, at least I'm still exercising, right?

Sleep has been decent.  I wake up about 2-3 times a night, whether to go to the bathroom or to get comfy.  I have to sleep with a pillow between my legs or else my hips hurt something fierce.  I'm normally a tummy sleeper so I have figured out a way to position the pillows just so and it almost feels like I'm sleeping on my stomach again, almost.

Baby James might end up being called Weston.  I told Jimmy earlier this week that it's weird that we never really refer to him as James and how I was calling Kendall by her name from the day we found out she was a girl.  I don't know if I'm not sold on the name or if it's just because I need to see him first or what but we have been talking about calling him by his middle name, Weston.  We'll see.  I think we're going to wait till he gets here to decide.

Did I mention I don't want to get any bigger?  Because I don't. I'm perfectly happy {not really} at this size and if this ended up being the biggest I got I'd be happy.  I know that's not going to happen so we'll deal with it.  With that being said I am so motivated to get back to working out again.  I am more motivated and ready this time than I was with Kendall and I'm actually looking forward to tracking my calories and running again.

And for comparison purposes, because who doesn't like a good comparison photo, here I was at 25 weeks with Kendall. I'm definitely more round this time and I like that a lot better than that weird ski-slope belly I had going on with her.  At this point with her I was complaining about my feet hurting a lot so I'm thankful that that is not the case this time. I had also been having a lot of dreams {that ended up being true once she was born} and I've had a few like that this time so I'm curious to find out if they'll be true as well.

Up next on our baby agenda is finishing the nursery.  It's so close to being done and it's coming together so perfectly I could pee a little.  The walls and furniture have been painted, the curtains are hung, the clothes are in the drawers.  We still need to put the crib together, get the bedding and changing pad cover, and hang the prints on the wall and it'll be a finished boy nursery.  I can't wait to share it with you.

For now I'm trying to take it easy when I can, rest more per Jimmy's demand request.  I'm trying to soak up this pregnancy and not wish it by too fast because I know it will the the last.  With that being said, I'm thinking about doing maternity/family pictures.  I didn't think I wanted too but now my BFF did them and a few of my fellow pregnant blog friends and I'm starting to get the itch to take some too.  I feel like we need to document this time.  We didn't do them with Kendall and I don't regret it but I think I would if we skipped them this time around.  So, stay tuned, maybe I'll have some to share before long.

Have you guys gone shopping lately? Like at a mall? To stores like PacSun and Buckle and Forver21? Me either {pretty sure none of them have or will carry maternity}, until this weekend.

Holy 1990s batman! I swear there were printed floral jeans in the storefronts that I wore in 5th grade, no joke. They were Jordache and I had the matching denim vest that went with them. So did my best friend. And before either of us would wear it we'd call the other. Some days we wanted to match other times we didn't. But never in my wildest dreams did I think these fashions would come back.

I know, I know, they say fashion comes back around every 20 years but I was really hoping that the 90s would skip that trend.


Jimmy and I walked int PacSun, Jimmy's usual go-to for summer clothes, and we were both like "???".  My husband is no trendsetter by any means but he does like to have some cool threads every summer and this  year he was all "I think I'm going to sit this one out".

He came home and got on my Pinterest account and started typing in "men's 2013 summer fashions" and was like "dude, do I really need to get these pointy toed oxfords?"  and I quickly shut that shit down.  No way.  That's not how we roll.  I mean he's just now getting into Sperrys.

Don't even get me started on the denim bustiers and high-waisted jean shorts {with a button fly I may add} that were staring me in the face at H&M and Delia*s.  Excuse me? I'm just waiting to see the "BUTTON YOUR FLY" tees on display now.  Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers those.

Walking around was no different.  A girl with a pair of acid-wash, cut-offs that could have passed for underwear.  Another with holes in her {footed} pantyhose with sandals.  Neon high-tops.  Girls with half their heads shaved.  I can't.

Is it because I hit 30?  Am I an old fuddy duddy?  Call me crazy but I'm usually somewhat hip to the trends but I have to say I am happy to be knocked up this summer to avoid all the craziness in the fashion world.  I'm certain you won't see ripped leather jeggings and crop tops in any maternity store {at least I hope not}.  So I'm gladly "sitting this one out" with my husband.


Here's to sundresses, pastel crop jeans, and denim jackets.  Maybe next summer, fashion.  Maybe next summer.