September 5, 2017


Watching:  Big Brother.  Guys, are you watching this season?  I haven't talked about it much {at all, actually} but I can't let the whole season go by without saying how DISAPPOINTING it is!  As someone who has watched for the last 10-ish years, I wouldn't call myself a super-fan but I would say I'm a fan, this season has been such a let down.  At the start of the summer I had high hopes for this season and cast.  The temptation twist seemed cool and not annoying like the twists in the past. The cast seemed like legit players.  WAS I EVER WRONG.  I mean I love Paul but having him back this year was a bad move.  Just hand him the check already, it's getting ridiculous. And don't even get me started on the bullying, racism, sexism, etc that's going on behind the what-you-see-on-TV scene.

Shopping for: All the baby things, obviously.  So when James was born I had this vision of how I wanted to dress him.  It was a very soft pallet of baby blues, grays and whites.  I remember weeks before he was born SCOURING the mall for a plain white sleeper {which was practically nonexistent at the time}.  This time I am thinking I want to go with bright basics.  I stumbled across {thank you sponsored Facebook posts} and I'm obsessed.  They have 20% off PLUS free shipping and so TAKE ALL MY MONEY!  I also ordered a bunch of primary colored baby hats {eBay} to mix and match {yay winter baby!} and gee whiz I'm thinking about this way too much.

Listening to: I honestly can't remember the last time I listened to music in the car.  It's been months.  I was late to the podcast game and now I'm hooked and can't stop.  My current favorite podcast has to be the Brain Candy podcast by Real World/Road Rules queens Susie Meister and Sarah Rice.  It's a little bit brainy and a little bit fun.  I always find myself wanting to learn more {and highly entertained} after I listen.  Love that they put out episodes twice a week because most pods only do once a week.  Check it out and let me know what you think!

Working out:  I've been rotating through a few of my favorite workouts on Beachbody On Demand.  I really love the Active Maternity but there's only one per trimester so I get a little bored so I'll mix in a few of my other favorites from the yoga studio and 21 Day Fix.  When I am pressed for time {and need to catch up on the DVR 😉} I'll hop on the treadmill for a nice walk.  I actually like this phase that I'm in because rather than be a slave to a specific program routine I'm kind of just listening to my body and doing what feels good THAT day.  

Cooking:  Over the weekend we picked a BUNCH of apples, my favorite fall activity.  I am determined to do more with the apples this year so last night I made SkinnyTaste slow cooker apple butter and holy moly you guys!  Not only does it taste amazing but it made my house smell ah-mazing.  Make it!

Craving:  Believe it or not, this craving is not food related!  I am craving a good, dark, thunderstorm-y day.  Obviously on a day that I don't have to leave the house and can cuddle up with my babies and watch movies and eat junk food.  We've had rainy days here and there but there's nothing quite like a good stormy day.

Practicing:  Over the summer I got out of my waking up early, reading my daily devotional, practice yoga routine.  I started to feel a little "off" last month and I knew this was why.  There's just something about starting my day off on such a positive note that sets me up for the whole day.  I started setting my alarm for 5:30 {M-F} and even if I don't get to the yoga part I make sure to have devotional time every day.  It has made a world of difference in my life.  I was waking up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep, filled with worry and thoughts that would consume me.  I decided one night that enough was enough and opened up my bible and handed it over to God.  Don't you know since that day I have not once woken up with worry?

Reading:  The Marriage Lie by Kimberly Belle.  I started this on vacation last month and I couldn't put it down.  I was reading every night and since we've been home, school has started, I started a little part-time gig, soccer practice, etc, etc, etc so my reading has slowed but this book is GOOD.  Short synopsis- "Iris and Will have been married for seven years, and life is as close to perfect as it can be. But on the morning Will flies out for a business trip to Florida, Iris's happy world comes to an abrupt halt: another plane headed for Seattle has crashed into a field, killing everyone on board and, according to the airline, Will was one of the passengers. Grief stricken and confused, Iris is convinced it all must be a huge misunderstanding. Why did Will lie about where he was going? And what else has he lied about? As Iris sets off on a desperate quest to uncover what her husband was keeping from her, the answers she finds shock her to her very core."  Pick it up, I promise you'll be hooked immediately.

Planning:  Jimmy and I are headed to Seattle next month for about a week.  This is the first time either of us will be going to Seattle and we have no idea what to expect.  I've heard we MUST go to the Space Needle, my mom tells me there's some cool underground tour, and obviously Pikes Place. If you've been there or live there let me know what we absolutely have to do.  This will be our first trip without kids in three years and just happens to be during our anniversary weekend so maybe we'll throw babymoon in there too 😜 .  

What are you currently into?

August 29, 2017

On Being Pregnant The Third Time

I wish I could say that the third pregnancy goes by in the blink of an eye but for me that hasn't been true.   Not for me.  Not thus far.  I think because we found out so early {9DPO} and because I'm used to my babies being born in August, it feels like I should be reaching the end but I'm only to the halfway mark.  I have a feeling the next 19 weeks will go fast with school starting, soccer and Girl Scout schedules, doctors appointments and all the fall activities but, for now, I feel like we're just barely trucking along.

I've started feeling baby boy recently and that has made things very exciting.  I actually felt my very first flutter around week 13 and I couldn't believe it was happening so quickly.  Now to wait until the kids and Jimmy can feel it, that will be truly magical. My symptoms have mostly subsided with the exception of the occasional, sometimes multiple times a week, headache.  I feel my old self showing up more often which has been very welcome.  Overall it's been a great pregnancy so far.

I do struggle though.  While I don't have any complications {thank GOD} thus far, I do have issues.  Being pregnant the third time comes with it's own set of challenges like showing much earlier, being more tired because I already have two kids to take care of, and the ever changing body.  I'm OK with the first two but the last one I'm struggling with more than I thought I would.

When I first found out I was pregnant I set goals for myself.  I only wanted to gain ___ lbs, I wanted to workout the entire pregnancy {with Kendall and James I quit "working out" around 28 weeks}, and I wanted to be in better shape {physically and mentally} post-partum than I was the first two times.  Well I have failed at one of those already and that is a hard pill to swallow.  While I do think I'm on a better track this time around I'm already fearful of what I'm left with after the baby is born.

I see other moms who are due around the same time as me and their bodies don't look like mine.  Their arms are still toned, they look like they just have a basketball under their shirts, they can still fit into their regular jeans even if they have to do the rubber-band trick.  None of that is true for me- I've been in maternity pants since I peed on the stick {kidding...kind of...}, my arms and legs are already gross looking, I hate wearing shorts and tank tops, and everything just looks sloppy.  I hate to sound like a complainer but after being in the best shape of MY life, it's hard to see my body changing in the opposite way that I'm used to.

I do know that this will be our last pregnancy {insert all the "you said that before" comments here}. I want to enjoy every ounce of it and now that we know he is a boy, I'm feeling him more, and we saw his sweet face on a 3D ultrasound it's putting everything into perspective.  As each day passes I realize that my body is going to do what it wants/needs to to bring this baby boy into the world.  Of course the decisions I make will also be contributing factors but I have numerous friends who have done things drastically differently between pregnancies only to end up with the same result also.  I'm trying hard to keep it all in perspective.

I know how blessed we are to be able to get pregnant not once, not twice but now three times.  I am beyond in love with this little baby.  I never thought I'd have three kids and it excites me and terrifies me all at once.  But I know we are lucky and I never take that for granted.  I also know that I have the rest of my life to be in shape and care about my body but I don't have the rest of my life to carry children.  Thinking about it in that way really puts things into perspective for me.

So I vow, from this day forward, to embrace every part of the rest of my pregnancy- the good, the bad and the ugly.  I will look at this body with love and treat it with respect.  I promise to soak up every remaining day knowing that this is the last time I will wear the ever-so-comfy maternity pants.  I will find joy in dressing my bump.  I will continue with my exercise program unless or until I physically can't.  I will fuel my body with foods that nourish my baby.  I will love myself through the next 19ish weeks and thereafter too.

Here's to a healthy, happy pregnancy {and baby!}.

August 28, 2017

New Baby Dew Is A...

A week ago today we woke up excited, happy, not at all nervous, and ready to find out what gender the baby growing in my belly would be. We were ALL thinking it was a girl and all of my symptoms said so. This was the first time we waited until the 20 week anatomy scan to find out. With Kendall and James we opted for the elective ultrasound to confirm gender at 14 weeks but this time we debated waiting till birth to be surprised but then we quickly realized that we are far too OCD and impatient for that.

Normally I never have a wait at my doctors office, I can be in and out in less than 30 minutes most visits.  This time, of course, we had a 40 minute wait before being called back to the ultrasound room.  Longest 40 minutes of my life, I swear.  I was so anxious to see our new little family member.  I knew he/she would look more baby-like this time so the kids would finally be able to {somewhat} grasp what was happening.  My OB does 3D ultrasounds this time so I was very excited to get good look and see if this babe looked like Kendall and James {who are starting to look more and more like twins these days}.  

When the tech said, "a little brother" we all had our jaws on the floor.  Kendall cried a little, she was certain it was a girl*.  I said, "NO WAY!?" and Jimmy was smiling from ear to ear.  IT'S A BOY!  

All of my symptoms were wrong.  The Chinese calendar {which was correct for Kendall and James} was wrong.  My own intuition was WRONG!  We are indeed welcoming a little BOY into our family this New Year and we couldn't be happier.  

He looks perfect {doctors words} and everything is measuring right on track and very average {music to my ears}.  He had his little hand covering his face the entire time so we didn't get a very good look at him but enough to tell he has sweet kissable lips and the same little button nose as Kendall and James.  He still doesn't have a name.  With Kendall we knew her name before we were even pregnant, heck before we were even married.  With James we knew as soon as we found out he was a boy that we were going to keep with family tradition.  This baby we are struggling to agree.  Jimmy has a name he's set on but I don't feel 100% on it.  Kendall thinks we should call him Darren Dew {which makes me think of the My Little Pony, Daring Do}.  James is really rooting for Red Power Ranger Jason Dew, which is a strong contender 😉.  I'm certain we'll have his name decided before we walk into the hospital and, honestly, naming babies is on my short list of favorite things. 

*As soon as we stopped to buy the pink and blue balloons Kendall perked right up and now she is THRILLED to have another little brother.  She even wants to share her room with him...stay tuned.

June 23, 2017

New Baby Dew

Following up with my last post, the dreaded two week wait didn't end up being positive that month {conceiving in March}.  Unfortunately my lady visitor showed up which was okay because we had literally just started trying that month.  Seeing that negative test, however, made us realize how badly we did want to add another baby to our family.

In April we started trying, for real.  With the help of the Ovia app {not sponsored} we were
successful and on May 1st I got the faintest positive pregnancy test.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  I was in shock, didn't believe it so naturally I took another test and then another and another.  I think I ended up taking 5-7 tests that week, just to be sure ;-).

Telling our friends and family was super fun and we kind of let the news happen organically.  We bought the kids 'Big Sis' and 'Big Bro' tees and just had them wear them whenever we went to a gathering.  Some picked up on it right away, others it took a second.  I really wish I could have taken a video of all the reactions because some were truly shocked while others were more expecting of the news.  I loved telling people this way because the big kids got to be the stars and took some of the attention off me {fun fact: I get super awkward when I am the center of attention}.  Because of all the excitement they got when they wore those shirts, James ONLY wanted to wear his 'Big Bro' shirt for about a month straight.

So fast forward to today.  I am 11 weeks and almost out of the exhausting first trimester.  I am feeling pretty good/normal now but that hasn't been the case thus far.  Almost immediately after I peed on that stick I had a bump.  I started getting really bad headaches every day.  I was exhausted, more so than either time before.  Thankfully Kendall was still in school at that time and James still napped regularly so I was able to lay down and/or nap when I needed to.  Thankfully I've never experienced morning sickness but some days my headaches were so bad it did make me nauseous.

I've maintained my workouts thus far.  My normal routine is to get up and do yoga in the morning before I start my day.  Now that schools out for summer, and my kids seem to fight 24/7, I need something else {mid day} to keep me sane so I've been rotating through some of my old favorites on Beachbody On Demand.  There's also an Active Maternity series with Autumn Calabrese {creator of 21 Day Fix} that I am really enjoying.  Working out throughout a pregnancy is not something I've done in the past and I'm really happy with how much I've kept up with my routine so far.  I will say it's a whole new ballgame, working out in the first trimester.  I am out of breath so quickly, things are already feeling more difficult than they were just a few weeks ago, and I'm already following the modifier for my more challenging workouts.  I know once I hit the second trimester things will even out a bit but right now it's tough.

The kids and Jimmy are SO EXCITED.  The day or so after I told Jimmy the news I remember texting with him and I could feel the happiness radiating through his messages.  I think he's more excited this time than the previous two.  Kendall immediately wanted to start talking about baby names and bedroom arrangements.  The next day she went to school and told 9 friends and her teacher.  Every Thursday she gets so excited to read the weekly update and see what the size of the baby is.  It's so fun having a big kid to share it with this time around.  James, on the other hand, doesn't quite know what's going on.  He will tell you he's going to be a big bro {it's bro, not brother, he will correct you} and he says he wants it to be a boy.  When we talk about a baby in my belly he looks super confused and kind of goes on with his day.

So this baby will be our tie-breaker baby and I'm not sure if we'll find out the gender.  At first I didn't want to find out.  I thought we have one of each and wouldn't it be fun to wait until the end?  Jimmy does not agree that that would be fun, he thinks that is super stressful.  So I have a feeling we'll end up finding out and the more real this pregnancy has become the more I don't think I can wait to find out either.  The general consensus is "it's a girl".  I feel it, everyone who's given their input has said it and the Chinese gender chart says girl {it was right for my two other kids, ha!}.  So we'll see!

I've had two ultrasounds so far.  The first one was just a quick, let's ease your mind, ultrasound.  I was about 8 weeks and the baby just looked like a jellybean in there.  I had another one done this week at 10.5 weeks and it was amazing to see the difference in just two-ish weeks.  There were arms and legs and little eye sockets.  My doctors office now does 3D ultrasounds which was amazing to see this early on.  We took the kids and Kendall was mesmerized by the whole thing, it was really fun to share that with them.  I get another one in two weeks again {yay!} and then I think that's it until the big 20 week anatomy scan.

My due date is January 11 2018.  It still seems so weird to say '2018' because that's NEXT YEAR.  It also feels so weird to have a winter baby seeing as my other two are August babies.  I'm actually really excited about a winter baby!  It will be after the hustle and bustle of the holidays so we will have nothing on the schedule until spring time so we can just hunker down and snuggle in.  I'll have another c-section so the baby's birth day will probably be a few days sooner than that due date but so far he/she is measuring right on track with that date {within 2 days}.

I don't know how often I'll update on this pregnancy {my pregnancy updates with James were sporadic at best} but I want to keep some documentation for selfish reasons.  I want to take a second to thank everyone who has already congratulated us and wished us nothing but happiness so far.  Sharing the news was so exciting and it warms my heart to see how much love we have received.  Thank you, thank you, thank you and I hope you'll follow along on our adventure to a family of five!

June 22, 2017

Maybe Baby?

This post was written April 26 2016.

To be honest, I don't want to hear the "but you said you were one and done" comments.  I know what I said before I was a mom and I apologize.  Yes, I planned on only having one baby and then 2 years later my mind changed.  Then again, after James was born, I swore he was our last.  I even wrote a letter to myself reminding myself how awful and miserable I am when I'm pregnant to ensure it would never happen again.  But guess what?  You never know how your heart is going to change.  You grow up.  You learn a lot through motherhood and, dammit, sometimes you change your mind.

With that being said, I don't think our family is done growing.

There, I said it.

For the past few months it's been heavy on my heart.  I go back and forth over the idea, Jimmy too.  Some days we think the idea of a 3rd Dew drop sounds blissful while other days we think we've got it pretty good with the two we've got.  It is something, however, that is always on our mind and that we talk about regularly.

We've officially started trying last week, on a whim.  It was one of those "stop over-thinking it" and just see what happens type of things so now we wait.  Honestly I feel like I could be pregnant as I type this but, alas, we have the dreaded Two Week Wait.  I literally cannot believe I am even typing these words.

The thought of a third baby scares the shit out of me, truth be told.  Some days I don't feel like I'm a good enough mom to the two we already have so why on earth would we add another to the mix?  We will officially be outnumbered {assuming we do have another}.  Two kids will end up sharing a bedroom.  We have no more baby gear except a handful of toys and an expired infant car seat.  What are we thinking?

I've been feeling like our family isn't complete for quite a few months, actually.  I would venture to say I've had "baby fever" for a year or more at this point but I've let fear get the best of me.  Our friends recently had their 4th and whenever we are together with them {which is a lot} Jimmy holds the baby and looks at me with puppy dog eyes, "can we have another".  If that doesn't give a girl The Fever, I don't know what will.  The same is true for him.  He has wavered just as much as I have but recently he's really clung to the idea of another family member.

Jimmy comes from a big family, he's one of four boys, whereas I am an only child with a relatively small extended family.  I feel as though I am well adjusted, not a brat, and not spoiled so I think I turned out OK despite not having siblings. As I grow older, however, I have really learned the value of a big family.  I watch shows like Parenthood and This Is Us and see these siblings who lean on each other and have these incredible, albeit challenging, relationships.  I watch my husband have the same sort of connections with his brothers.  I see all of my extended in-law family and how fun {and funny} they are and I love spending the holidays with them.  I see the bond my own kids have and all of this makes my heart swell.  I am ready for one more.

The first two pregnancies happened pretty fast once we started trying and, while I was uncomfortable and crabby towards the end, I had pretty easy pregnancies as well.  I am approaching 35 {aka advanced maternal age} so that does leave me a little worried that this time won't happen as quickly.  I know that this is already mapped out for us and it's truly in God's hands so I rest knowing that whatever happens is what is meant to be.  I would be honored to love on another Dew baby, if we are so fortunate.  I think my big kids would love welcoming a little brother or sister and I know my husband would be the most excited.

Here's to the next chapter...

June 21, 2017

10 Things I Love About James

The other day I talked about my 10 things I love about Kendall and so it's only fair that I share the things I love about my second born today.

Even though I have raised them exactly the same and they are siblings, my kids couldn't be more opposite.  Where she is a total rule-follower, he is pushing the limits.  When she is more shy, he is more outgoing.  About the only thing my kids have in common is their green eyes.  So I'm excited to share the things I love about James today.

He is 3.5 {will be 4 in August} currently.  He will be entering his first year of preschool this fall and I couldn't be more excited; trust me when I say, he's ready.  He is the definition of a boy.  He's loud, tough, messy, silly, dangerous and full of energy.  He's also the sweetest boy and my snuggler.  He's starting to lose his babyness but he still has his big pillow cheeks that I kiss way too much.

The things I love about that boy are as follows:
  1. He is always randomly coming up to me and giving me love.  He will kiss me out of nowhere and hug my neck so tight I can't breathe.  He's the one that will come snuggle on the couch and lay with me in bed while he's waking up in the morning.  Such a sweet little guy.
  2. He's a little comedian.  I could write a book of the funny things this kid says and I have no idea where he gets it from.  He always makes us laugh and say, "how does he come up with these things?!".
  3. Right now he talks with a little lisp and I know we will want to correct it as he gets older but right now I think it's so cute!
  4. I love his imagination.  Kendall's never been a big imaginative play kind of kid so this is new to me.  James will take his little Lego guys and build them houses and pretend they are ninjas or Power Rangers.  I love watching him be creative.
  5. James has this little, super blonde patch on the back of his head.  His hair is starting to turn a little auburn as he gets older but there is one spot in the back that stays SUPER blonde.  I don't know if it's a birthmark or what but I hope it never goes away.
  6. He has no problem making friends.  He will walk up and start playing with kids twice his age and most of the time they are totally OK with it.  He can hang with them and while it makes me extremely nervous I also love that he has that confidence.
  7. I love his facial expressions.  When he's excited about something he bites his bottom lip and his eyes get really big.  He has a face for every emotion and will do them all on demand, anytime you ask.
  8. He LOVES his sissy.  He wants her to be included in all the things he does.  When school was still in session, multiple times a week he'd ask to go pick her up early because he missed her.  He still fights with her like crazy but at the end of the day it's nothing but love between those two.
  9. There's nothing he's afraid of.  He will climb the highest point at the playground, go down the biggest slides, jump from anything {including a houseboat last summer...}.  It scares me half to death but I gotta love that no fear attitude.
  10. I love that he still seems like my baby.  He may be almost four but he is still squishy and has those sweet baby cheeks.  He's starting to look more like a boy every day but he still has lots of babyness left in him.  I'll soak it up as long as I can.

May 1, 2017

10 Things I Love About Kendall

It's been a while since I've written any updates on my kiddos. It's been a while since I've written much of anything but we are in such an awesome phase of life right now.   Both kids are more independent as each day passes.  They've finally gotten to the ages where they will actually play together {something I never thought would happen}.  They love each other something fierce and I love watching their relationship.  With that being said I want to share some things I love about each one of them at this age {mainly so I never forget}.

Today we're starting with Kendall.  She is almost 7 {August} and is finishing up 1st grade.  She plays soccer in the fall and does Girl Scouts as her extracurricular activities.  She loves all animals and wants to be a veterinarian when she grows up.  She's the perfect combination of a girly girl and a tomboy.  She would prefer playing outside to playing dress-up.  She loves math and reading {chapter books especially}.  Her favorite color is green, favorite movie is Moana or the new Beauty and the Beast, favorite song is How Far It Goes {from Moana- any version}, favorite food is pizza and if you ask her who her best friend is she'll name of no less than ten people.  She's shaping up to be such a fun, cool, smart little girl and I'm going to try to narrow it down to just 10 reasons why I love her.

1.  Her personality is the type that everyone wants to be around.  Her teachers love her and since she was in preschool they have raved about how well-behaved she is.  When I drop her off at school I see kids running up and hugging her.  Even though she's a bit shy and reserved she's always getting invited to play/be included.  She's just got that infectious positivity that you are drawn to.

2.  She always gives 110%.  There have been many times where she's given a task to do and even though it's completed she keeps going.  Her teacher told me a story of them doing a writing assignment and Kendall had done what was required of her and even when all of the other kids were done she kept writing, putting in her finishing touches.  She is always striving to be better and give it her all {she gets it from her daddy}.

3.  She has a kind heart.  She's always thinking about others.  Like last week we were at a Girl Scouts meeting and she made James one of their treats to bring home for him.  She knew he'd like it and didn't want him feeling left out.  She does that kind of stuff all the time and it makes me feel like I'm doing something right with her.

4.  She's a good artist and loves to create.  I prayed that our kids would get Jimmy's artistic abilities and it looks like she has. She loves to color, draw, write, paint, you name it.  Crafting is her love language and its so fun to watch her imagination when she's making something.  I could dedicate an
entire room in our house just to display her artwork.

5.  Girlfriend has amazing hair!  I have been jealous of her perfect beachy waves for years now.  I constantly tell her that people pay good money to have a head of hair like hers.  She loves it too and hates to get even a trim and, for the most part, likes to wear it down.

6.  I love and admire how brave she is.  She isn't afraid of the things most kids are.  She went zip-lining when she was five with no hesitation.  She doesn't get grossed out by bugs.  She isn't afraid to play in the dirt/mud/sand and get dirty.  She is pretty much always up for anything and I hope she always stays that way.

7.  I could listen to her tell stories all day.  She is so animated and her facial expressions are simply the best.  When she tells a story, especially a more exciting one, she tells it with every ounce of her being.

8.  She is such a good listener, almost too much of a good listener at times ;-). When I tell her she can/can't do something until ______ she does just that.  She can remember conversations we had weeks, even months, ago because she's truly paying attention and listening.

9.  I love her green eyes.  She got them from my mom and my grandma and I love that she managed to get that over my brown or Jimmy's blue eyes.  Green is her favorite color so she absolutely loves having green eyes.  They totally change depending on the day or what she's wearing but there's no doubt that they're staying green.

10.  I love watching her think.  She will sometimes bite her bottom lip and other times she will have her eyes completely rolled back in her head.  Watching her brain work is one of my favorite things to observe.

As most moms could, I could go on for days about the reasons I love her but I'll narrow it down to these ten.  She caught a glimpse of me writing this and I saw her smile as she read the words on the screen.  I hope that one day when she's older she can come back to this and reread it and know just how much I love her.