Life After I "Dew"

Back in November I posted about an ear surgery I would be having right before Christmas. A few times since I've mentioned having it postponed but never really got into the details and I feel bad about that.  It's nothing major but I feel like I should update with the details since so many of you reached out to me after that post.

When I scheduled the surgery I knew that it was happening two days before Christmas and while that idea made me cringe at first, the more I thought about it the more it actually sounded like perfect timing.  I would be surrounded by family and friends for the time between Christmas and New Years so that would be nice/added/extra help.  My doctor assured me that I would be "ready to party" soon after the surgery so I wasn't worried about being "out of it" for Christmas or anything.

The thing that worried me, the reason I postponed my surgery, was because of James.  Following the surgery I wouldn't be able to lift anything for about 4 weeks, including my very heavy toddler.  At first I thought that would be no big deal.  He can walk and prefers to {most days}.  He can climb into his booster seat at the kitchen table.  He can go up and down stairs unassisted.  He climbs into and out of the bathtub now.  Honestly I don't pick him up and/or carry him all that often {did I mention he's heavy?}.

The list of things he cannot do and that I still need to do for him is never-ending.  I still have to get him out of his crib, for example.  We thought about switching him to a big boy bed a few weeks before the surgery was scheduled but he sleeps so well in his crib {still} and the thought of him being able to get in and out of bed by himself made me cringe a bit.  I also still have to lift him into his car seat, the grocery cart, the changing table, and the occasional "hold you" moments {that I still love and savor}.

I hated canceling that appointment because I truly need and want to hear again.  It's frustrating to wake up each day and not know if you'll be able to hear well or not.  Sometimes it changes throughout the day and I'll suddenly say, "ahhhh I can hear again!!!" and it's glorious.  But sadly most days I don't hear very well and say "huh?" a lot.  It's awkward in public and when I'm around people who don't know me very well.  I'm sure I've ignored more people than I know.  The receptionist at the kids' doctor was especially rude to me when I had to ask her numerous times to repeat herself {in my  defense she never spoke any louder, even after I said, "I'm sorry, I don't hear very well"}.  So, yeah, the surgery would have been really nice.

I don't have a new surgery date, we are just playing it by ear.  Whenever James is more independent is when I will do it.  I was initially thinking this summer but I doubt that is very realistic.  Besides, who wants to ruin summer with a stupid surgery ;-P.

In a little over a month I will be having surgery. Three days before Christmas, to be exact.

I have mentioned several times how I don't hear and, in fact, am practically deaf in my right ear.  It's been this way since I was about fourteen.  I had something called cholesteatoma which is an abnormal skin growth in the middle ear behind the eardrum.  It basically ate away at my eardrum, hence the hearing loss.  I had three surgeries to repair the damage but the hearing loss was not able to be restored.  

That left me with my left ear being my "good ear".  I've always been able to hear normally in my left ear despite the fact that there is a small hole in my left eardrum.  The hole has been there for SEVERAL years but has never posed a problem so we've monitored it, I've had hearing tests annually for as long as I can remember and it's always been fine.

I've always had to wear ear plugs when I'm in the water, which includes the shower.  I have cute, custom-made/fit, hot pink ones and I don't even think twice about wearing them anymore.  In fact I often forget about them and when I go swimming I just pop them in very casually and to newer friends this is always a topic of conversation.  About two years ago we went swimming and I forgot to take my ear plugs.  Normally when I don't have them I just don't go under water and it's totally fine. But this day I decided to go down a tunnel slide, without my ear plugs, and ever since that day my left ear has become a problem.  

Over the past two-ish years I've seen my ENT more than twice a year for multiple ear infections.  This past summer it got really bad and I started losing hearing in my left ear, my good ear.  I took my ear drops, which normally work miracles, but this time they aren't working anymore.  My good ear has now become my bad ear which isn't saying a whole lot for my hearing. 

I basically don't hear currently.  Sure I hear sounds, I can hear people talking but unless I am looking directly at someone so that I can read their lips I really don't know what people are saying.  I have to have the TV and radio up to obnoxious levels.  Often times it comes across that I am just ignoring people but it's simply because I am not hearing them.  

This week I was visiting a cute new shop in town and I was talking to the owner about how adorable it was and how I'd be back for Christmas gifts and she was sweet as pie and telling me lots of stuff but I honestly have no idea what she told me. Kendall had a friend over this week and we were driving and her friend was talking to me but I had no idea.  Sweet Kendall said, "oh, my mom's ear is plugged, she can't hear you".  Bless her.  

So, it's time.  I've put off the surgery long enough.  I won't be able to lift anything aka James for four weeks so that's played a big part in the timing of things.  But with my hearing being almost completely gone I can't put it off anymore.  

The surgery is "routine".  It'll take about an hour.  They'll cut behind my left ear, pull it forward, patch the hole with skin from behind my ear and sew me back up.  It's outpatient and my doctor even said I'd be good to "party" later that night.  Which is good, you know, because I'm such a party girl.

At first the thought of doing it three days before Christmas seemed crazy.  It seemed like a total downer to a normally happy time of year.  But now that I've had time to process it it's actually a perfect time to be having it.  Not only have we met our deductibles this year {crazy} but we will be surrounded by family who will be able to help.  Jimmy will be off work for a few days thanks to the holidays so that will be helpful.  

I'll have a few follow up appointments but otherwise I should be good as new.  My hearing will be restored, the ear infections should stop, and hopefully this will be the end of my ear problems.  I'm sure I'll still have my biannual trips to the ENT but honestly, at this point, I'd kind of be sad/lost if I didn't.  Plus I really like my ENT so I really don't mind going.  

As routine as this type of thing is, it doesn't mean complications can't happen.  I know I'm in good hands.  I trust my doctor completely.  He's won awards for what he does.  He has developed new technology in this department.  He's great, I'll be great.  But, if you're the praying type, would you say a little prayer for me?  

As of right now I'm excited for the surgery.  I can't wait to hear again.  I know Jimmy can't wait either.  It'll be good.  It'll all be good.