September 1, 2009

Caring and Feeding Husbands...SAYWHAT?

My mother, she's never been the submissive one. Normal conversations between my dad a her go something like this...

Dad: Smell Smell, will you get me some more tea?
Mom: Are your legs broken?

I kid you not. I'm not sure where she got it from, my grandmother is VERY catering to my grandpa. I think I got a mix of both. While I'm not waiting on Future Mr hand and foot, I am aware of his needs and do nice things when he asks, like scratching his back at night.
So you can imagine my shock when my mom tells me that she got a $100 Visa gift card for opening a checking account and instead of buying yet another new dress she went and got my dad $100 worth of upper body massages at their local spa.
Where is my mother and what have you done with her? She tells me that she has been doing little things like that for him lately. When he asked her to rub his back, instead of her normal "How bout you rub MY back?" she complied...shutuprightnow. Where has this new found compliance come from? She read the books The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands and The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage and they have changed her life. She cannot rave about these books enough.
Fast forward to Sunday. Along with my new, fabulous bed pillows, she got me both books. She believes every woman who is married or entering marriage should read them. While she doesn't agree with EVERYTHING Dr. Laura Schlessinger has to say (this is 2009 and she's still a modern woman), she has taken her advice and made small changes in her relationship with my dad and has already noticed a difference in their relationship.
So I started reading Husbands today on lunch and I will say Dr. Laura is very old school and I can already see me questioning her way of thinking and defending mine. But when it comes down to it I see how it all makes sense. She believes that men are simple creatures with basic needs and it is our job as wives to fulfill these needs to keep marriages sacred. I know some of you are fuming with smoke coming out your ears, I was too when I was first told about it, but she provides real-life examples of how these things work and it really does make sense. I'm only in the first chapter and I'm already trying to figure out ways I can better myself and therefore our relationship.
Has anyone read this book? Thoughts? Opinions? I'm really curious to see what others think, especially new, young brides.


  1. Thats so funny about your mom.. its like the book brainwashed her!! hahah... let me know if your book works!! and if they have one on how to be a good girlfriend/roommate!! xxxooo

  2. haha...that is awesome. Little things like that WILL have great affects on your marriage. We read a book called "love and respect" and do reccommend it. Obviously, parts I dont 100% agree with, makes for lasting marriages.

  3. I would definitely be interested in reading them, I'll have to check my local library!

    ...funny side story: at my wedding shower the host had all the guests write marriage advice on a card. My mom's advice was, "Food, food, food. Sex, sex, sex." MOTHER! She made me blush :)

  4. LOL, your mom sounds like me. I want to read those books. I forgot about Dr. Laura, I used to listen to her radio show! But, I can't help but say, did she write one for men on how to care for and feed women?! :)

  5. I read bits of pieces of the book. I enjoyed what I read, so maybe I need to read the whole thing! :) Another book on that same type of subject was "For Women Only". And I got a lot out of it, although I didn't agree with everything.

  6. i've never heard of these books. i'll be interested to hear what you think of them.
    i feel like i already cater to my man's needs. i think he needs to read a book instead...haha!
    i mean he asks me to rub his back, i do. every.single.time!
    the only thing i asked for on my bday was a birthday was well over a month ago, still no massage. can you tell i'm a little bitter, lol!
    i love my man no matter what, this girl just wants a little massage ;) hehe

  7. 1. Your pancake thing is a GREAT idea!! Thank you! He'd LOVE THAT!!!!! :)

    2. I've never given her that much credit as an author, but I agree that there's something you can pull from books like that which really makes sense! I mean.. it's like everything else in that you can't totally blindly follow something.. shape it, take what you can and make it useful! :)

    3. Have you read the Five Love Languages? It's SUCH AN AMAZING BOOK! It explains how you give/receive love and how your mate does...and what that means for communications, etc with each other. GREAT read!!!

    And I applaud you for paying attn to taking care of your marriage already, lady!! I think that's a huge thing...relationship maintenance, that is. I totally believe in it 100%.

  8. That's too funny about your mom! I love her response to him.

  9. I've never heard of these books, but they definitely sound interesting. I think it really is about the little things that make a big difference in your relationship. It all goes a long way! Like the back scratching're doing something that he loves and it really isn't that big of a deal just to do it. I agree that men are simple creatures and not nearly complex as us women!

  10. You have it right...most of what Dr. Laura says is good, but I don't follow everything she says word for word. I do love listening to her at entertaining. Below is the website that I use to will give you a good taste of what is in the book.

    Hope you enjoy!

  11. OMG i want to get this book ASAP! it sounds like somethng I NEED. i am a very selfish person most of the time (shocker i know) so something to help me tune into his needs more is probably the perfect thing for me to read before the wedding. thanks girl! remind me to get it :)