December 13, 2011

Letters To The Masses


  • Dear Century Link,  I pay you $40ish every month for, what I thought was, internet service.  Apparently I was mistaken when we agreed to have you be our provider, I thought that meant YOU provided ME with a service {internet}.  Seeing as our internet works approximately 40% of the time, how bout I start paying you 40% of my bill?  Sounds good to me.  You get what you pay for, or vice versa.
  • Dear Winter, I hate you.  I do not like that I have to sleep in socks these days thanks to your bitterness.  I hate wearing coats in the car, in fact I don't, but you make this very unpleasant.  Also? When you start adding a little bit of that white stuff into the mix, I can assure you we will never speak again.  Go away.
  • Dear Kardashians, I am intrigued by you, along with the rest of America, but I have one question for you, Kim.  Is it weird to watch your marriage fall apart on TV?  I mean it's a serious question so if you are reading, please get at me.  Some episodes I am Team Kim and others I'm Team Kris {btw did he always spell his name with a K or did he do that to fit in?} so maybe you could let me know so I can make a more informed decision.
  • Dear International Delight, I love your coffee creamer, like a lot.  I think I have had ever flavor you've put out there.  I wanted to try some of your new holiday/seasonal flavors but was sad to see they only came in the gigantic bottle.  I know you're probably thinking, "but for the coffee creamer addict that you are, this should be perfect".  While that is true I also thought you should know that I like to have a flavor of the day, meaning I, at all times, have a minimum of 4 flavors in the fridge.   With that being said, it makes more sense for me to have the smaller bottles.  Make it happen.
  • Dear coworker, mind your own business.  Last time I checked, it's not your job to care about what I'm doing.  I get that you also may be a little jealous that I get Fridays off now, too.  Here's the thing, I don't get paid that day that I'm off.  I wish you could take Fridays off too and have a 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, like me.  I do not appreciate your, "must be nice" comments in the meantime.  Get over it.
  • Dear Christmas card senders, you have all dropped the ball this year.  I, super excitedly, check the mail every day and so far we've only received a dozen or so.  We usually have way more by now, heck I sent ours the Monday after Thanksgiving!  So, if you haven't yet, GET THEM IN THE MAIL!
  • Dear Blogger, stop not posting my scheduled posts!  I swear in the last two weeks I have scheduled posts only to wake up, have it not posted  and find it in my drafts folder.  Look I get that I could have made the mistake but I have been blogging for over 3 years now, I don't think I would make the same mistake more than twice.  Get it together!
Whew, that feels better. 

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17 comments:

  1. Good Rant!! Feels great, don't it!?

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  2. Love all of these! Blogger is being a fucktard lately.

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  3. Good stuff!! (I thought it was me, but now I know it's Blogger (and I'm mad...lol)!

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  4. You've got to try the Coffee Mate Christmas creamers. They come in the small sizes.

    I'm like you. Minimum of 4 creamers in my fridge. I'm obsessed with the Warm Cinnamon Sugar Cookie and the Gingerbread Latte. HEAVEN in a cup.

    I did try the Sugar Free Peppermint Mocha and was not impressed, though.

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  5. Well I can't say much because our Christmas cards aren't out yet, but I've noticed we haven't gotten many this year yet either.

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  6. I loved this post! And I am with you on the creamers - I like to have a variety as well. I will never finish one of the big ones before it gets icky!

    And ugh winter. HATE it. I think it's colder where you are so you get to have more hate. (Uhmm hmmm that's how it works)

    P.S. YAY for your new car - looks awesome!!!! :) I'm sure KP loves it too!

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  7. p.s. Can I copy you? I need to blog like whoa and now I'm all riled up about a few things!! I'll link back to ya!

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  8. Ugggh. That nosey coworker would drive me NUTS!! You worked hard for that day off, and like you said... you're not getting paid for it!! Geez. MYOB.

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  9. Blogger does that to me all the time!! Yuck.
    Ps. sooo with you on the creamers. I feel like I need to hoarde them before their holiday kinds leave me forever.

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  10. I'm so with you on the Christmas cards. I just thought nobody liked me anymore. Hopefully it's just a national holiday procrastination crisis.

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  11. You never fail to crack me up...love these letters! Totally relate to the creamer one and the Blogger one...annoys me to no end! Hope your week is going wonderfully so far :)

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  12. I can't stand coats either. I feel like I'm suffocating and my arms are so restricted, especially in the car. Also, so intrigued by the K's too, but I get mad that I am because let's be honest, they're ridiculous.
    Great post!

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  13. I definitely need to do a post like this! lol. I didnt even know you could make scheduled blog posts! lol. & I totally agree about the Christmas cards. Maybe I'm lame, lol. But I just love them! I get so excited to check the mail every day, only to be shot down most days. haha. We've gotten 15 so far (i just counted). lol. Not too bad, but not as many as we usually get. GET ON IT PEOPLE! lol.

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  14. Okay, two things.
    1. I think we should trade places because this Florida summer-weather-in-winter-thing just ain't cutting it! I have coats I Need to wear and I can't wear them. I'll settle for just a small trip!
    2. I just sent my cards out this morning! I know, I know... shame on me! But I sure do love receiving them :)

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  15. I don't have any good pics of me to send as a Christmas card. So....don't hold your breath for one from me. Just sayin'. Also? I can't compete with KP cuteness.

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  16. This is too funny!! I can totally relate to the jealous co-worker! I have the same one that says the same thing EVERY Thursday!! He says, "I wish I had Friday's off too!" Does he think I don't remember him saying that last week or the week before that?!?!?!? And also on the Christmas cards... so disappointed when I go the mailbox and not a one!

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