February 9, 2012

Girly Bits

This post is going to contain words like birth control, vagina, sex drive, condoms, and hormones.  If any of those things offend you {or if you have a penis} you may exit this conversation now.  kthanksbye.
So my form of birth control these days is the pill.  I wanted the IUD but my insurance sucks ass doesn't cover it and that shiz is 'spensive.  Obviously Jimmy wasn't hoping on the condom train.  The shot makes you get fat{ter}.  The ring freaks me out.  And the patch?  Yeah I don't get how that is even 1% effective.  So the pill was pretty much my only choice.  Plus I had been on the pill for XX years before and it worked just fine {except for that time right before our wedding when I had my period for 2 months}.  So the pill it was.
And then I started having irregular periods.  I would start, have it for a week, stop for 2-3 days and then start again for 2-3 days.  Annoying much?  Indeed.  And then I started not wanting sex, like ever.  Like I could go the rest of my life without it, literally.  And when we did get our freak on, YEOUCH!  I even went as far as to ask Jimmy if he had been taking any sort of  "enhancement products".  Yeah, that.  
So I made an appointment with my OB/GYN.  It was literally like a therapy session, I went in there on the verge of tears.  The nurse jotted down some of the details and as soon as my doctor walked in he said, "birth control, birth control, birth control".  My husband was right {first time for everything}.
I'll spare you the details but basically birth control pills do all sorts of fucked up shit to your body.  From the hormones to the weight gain to the changes in your anatomy, the stuff is not good long term.  My doctor also made me feel less crazy by telling me that NO woman with a 17 month old wants it, she's just playing "good wife".  Thaks doc.
 I had to tell Jimmy the unfortunate pecker poncho news, but he knew that if it meant more boom boom time it was worth it.
That was 2 weeks ago.
I stopped taking the pills THAT day, scary thought for a self-proclaimed only child mama.  But you know what?  Mama's got her mojo back and it feels good.  Now let's just pray to the only child Gods that mama doesn't get what the rest of the Internet's got and wind up with a baby bump.
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53 comments:

  1. Ok, like....how come I never knew about this?! I can't believe your not taking ANYTHING!! That's just nuts! I mean, I guess if it wasn't working with your body, then hey, bye bye it is...but I would be scared to death of nothing other then a rubber....gah! GOod luck lady! I bet you feel better though!

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  2. Same exact thing happened to me! This may be TMI but when we would ya know it felt like there was a fire down there. As soon as I got off the pill I lost 10 pounds and could finally enjoy husband and wife time! I felt like myself again!

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  3. Same thing with me! I knew the pill wasn't right anymore and I knew we were done having kids after 3! My hubby got snipped and I've been off the pill for a few months. I'm not "regular" yet, but nothing crazy is going on AND I actually WANT to have sex now. I am so glad we don't have to deal with condoms either - going off the pill was a great decision for us and it's nice to know others were/are having the same issues because I thought I was going crazy for a minute! Good luck with the ponchos, don't get caught up and "forget" it hehe ;) Oh and the fire and ice one's are pretty nice if you need some variety ha!

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  4. oh girl -- i could have written this exact same post!!!! i feel your pain -- literally.
    i am sans birth control & have been for over a year now & all is well. granted i am a bit older than you but i happen to be fertile myrtle so i consider not getting preggo while off the pill for over a year a MAJOR success!
    glad you got your mojo back -- isn't it FABU to feel like you again?

    on a side note: i went to my ob/gyn THREE times to discuss getting my tubes tied & oddly couldn't commit even though i am done birthing babies.
    much to brian's dismay because now he is on the happy condom trail!

    awesome post!
    women need to be more informed about the side effects!

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  5. I can't do the pills for the exact same reasons!

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  6. I haven't been on the pill since August 2009 for the exact same reasons. I also had a scare with high blood pressure and that sucker was the first to go. Granted, I AM currently knocked up, but that was on purpose. After having Carter, I just continued with a little NFP. (natural family planning). Sure, it's kind of like crappy homework you have to do- but when you do it right? No babies! LOL ;)

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  7. I am not on anything either...and I hope to the Gods I too don't end up with a bump!!!!!!

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  8. So what are you doing for birth control now? I'm going through the same thing. My baby girl is 4 months old and I need to figure out a way to make sure she doesn't have a sibling until we're ready. BUT I hate hormones. There seems to be no good solution.

    www.ahealthysliceoflife.com

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  9. woo hoo! I LOVED being off the pill. We managed NOT to get preggo for a year from temperature taking and only condoms when it was fertile myrtle time. -- congrats on the return of the sex drive :)

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  10. I was on the pill for a long time before my daughter was conceived and after she was born I got the Implanon. It's a small rod placed into your arm (it doesnt hurt) and it's effective for 3 years. Works like a charm. No weight gain, good sex drive etc. Maybe you can look into that.

    ~Laura

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  11. I hear you Shannon. I've been on the pill for over 10 years now and I cannot wait to go off it. C and I are waiting 6 months after we get married and then it's natural "we'll see what happens" sailing for us. Did your doctor talk to you about the possibility of it just being hormones? I went through a time where I wasn't really feeling 'sexy' if you catch my drift...changed my pill to a new combo of hormones and have been great ever since.

    Also, do not even bother with the patch. I tried it in college, and not only is it a giant pain in the you know what, it attracts every fabric fiber under the freakin' sun. I used to spend hours in the shower scrubbing that square of fuzzies it left on my abdomen or back and it never fully went away. I put up with that for about 2 months before I was over it!

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  12. I recently went off birth control so that we can get pregnant, and it was the BEST move ever!! I too had no desire to have sex and now that I'm not on the pill, its like all I can think about! I don't think I will ever go back on the pill. It just really does a number on your body.

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  13. I had to go off the pill because of all the hormones in it and went with the shot since it has way less stuff in it. I will say the shot rocked my socks off....I didn't gain weight, no periods, and not everyday was awesome.

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  14. Haha, amazing! You had me at Pecker Poncho.

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  15. I have the opposite effects. My body likes me on birth control...off it it goes crazy! A good thing is charting your temps, that way you can keep up with when you are fertile and just stay away from each other those days and not worry about condoms the other days.

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  16. I've been off the pill for almost a month and we ARE trying to get pregnant - it would be our first. But I can tell a HUGE difference in my body since quitting the pill. You are not alone in this one, lady!!

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  17. You, my friend, are funny. Pecker ponchos ftw. Have you thought about a procedure if you guys are really sure you're done? I'm making Nate get snipped when we get to that point.

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  18. Great post Shannon!! I'm sorry you had to go through all that but coming from someone who was on birth control for 9 years and then developed a blood clot- I think you'll be much happier off it! That scared me enough to drop that shit fast! Xoxox

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  19. Oh, no, hon. You need to save up your pennies and your Avon money and cancel your cable for a couple months and save up for an IUD. I'm telling you it's the greatest thing ever. I had to pay for mine out of pocket, too, and it was the best $500 I've ever spent.

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  20. buahaha. i took the pill for a matter of 2 MONTHS my entire life.

    andrew and i haven't been using the pill since we were dating... and? he doesn't use a condom.

    so? what does that mean?

    well, well... what fool ever said that the "pulling out" method didn't work.

    and the one time he DIDN'T pull out?

    well... that's how E happened! {that was on purpose by the way}

    HAHAH. timi?

    DUDE. IT WORKS!

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  21. The pill seriously messed up my sex drive as well. Now that i'm not on it...let's just say the hubby is a whole lot happier with me. And I guess we need to keep them happy! I would love to get an IUD after this next baby as I definitely don't want to go back on the pill again!!

    This post was incredible and I found myself nodding my head and agreeing with it all. I'm so glad you didn't censor any part of this..we all need to read posts like this to know that we aren't alone in our "hubby please don't touch me" moments.

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  22. "If it means more boom boom." LOVE.

    But for the ring, it's like a tampon. You never feel it, my skin is better, and I'm not as crazy pants. Just putting it out there if you thought about venturing.

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  23. Wanna hear what the pill did to me? I took one before bedtime, right after we were married, and I ended up puking for the next 4 hours. It was awful.
    I've got the IUD right now, but I think if our insurance didn't cover it, we'd prob have to go the poncho route or natural family planning or something. I do, however, blame it for not letting me lose weight fast enough. Good luck! Glad you're feeling normal again!

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  24. If you ever decide to look into an IUD, it's AH-MAZING! I have the mirena, and have had it for 4 years. So worth it to not have to take a pill every day, and on the plus side, haven't had a period for 4 years, BOOM! You made the right choice, birth control does wacky things to ya. I'm sure your hubs is grateful for more 'boom boom time' as well, ha! Love your honesty in this post!

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  25. OMG, I could have written this post! Once I'm no longer nursing, I plan on charting until we're ready to try again. Have you ever read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? It helped me get pregnant, so let's hope it helps me stay not pregnant until we're ready ;-)

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  26. I agree with all the ladies and their love for this post. ;)

    And, I'm with Becky and am using the 'pull out' method of BC. It worked for us for over 5 years...and it even took us 6 months to get pregnant when we were trying! So, that's our plan, for now.

    I'm glad you got your mojo back! :)

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  27. I was on the pill a few years ago and had to go off because it was making me depressed and not a good person. Definitely not for me. The whole time my husband and I have been together, we've used condoms. Though, I don't understand why your husband won't use them...better than the alternative of getting pregnant!

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  28. Sigh...... I'm still nursing at 12 mos partially because I'm not ready to make this decision (have been on the minipill while nursing)!!!
    I was on the pill for nearly 15 years before getting preg. Don't want to go back on it. I'm thinking mirena or maybe the ring has less hormones. Also, isn't there a new law that insurance is required to cover mirena in full?

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  29. After I had a miscarriage I had no desire to do anything. Not sure why. I somehow managed to get pregnant and I just had my baby almost 6 weeks ago. I just got back on the pill too. Hopefully it doesn't stay how it was because the fiance will probably kill me! lol

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  30. Oh Shannon, I've had that exact same OB appointment. It is insane what birth control will do to your body. I tried for YEARS to find one that my body didn't reject and it never happened. So {tmi} we use a good ole condom and pray to the same Gods you do :)

    Hope you start feeling more like yourself!

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  31. High Five for no hormone birth control! That biz is scary! And the potential pregnancy risk/terror makes life a little more exciting, right?

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  32. I'm a fan of the pull out method too ;) I used the ring for a long time, and it was fine-not as weird as people imagine. I had gotten very sick (like vomiting for 12 hours) from taking two pills too close togeher and I just could not live my life by a clock remembering to take it at the exact same time every day. So, I used the ring for a couple of years and really liked it. I think I ran out or something, but I didn't use any form of birth control, beyond pull out (ugh, I hate that name, but I think the technical name is coitus interuptus and that's worse) for a 2 years before we got pregnant-and that was intentional.

    I agree with AP that NFP can be really good too-but again, you have to be more scheduled than I am able to be, to keep up with the temps. Since having M, my body is giving more obvious cues about what it's doing though-don't know if that's the same case for you.

    And, I'm not on BC, but my sex drive is pretty low anyway. Sometimes it seems like a good idea, but also like a lot of work, and mama is tired! ;)

    @amdavee

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  33. I have to say: I'm somewhat horrified by the number of women using the "pull and pray" method.

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  34. I don't take anything either. Haven't since college. The pill spiked my blood pressure and it freaked me out. Needless to say I stopped taking it asap. AND I've had friends that were on the pill in HS, College and in between babies and many of them had fertility issues or miscarriages (and sev.er.al). Very scary stuff!

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  35. You are so brave for putting this out there. :) I have thoughts like this all the time and would love input, but am no where near brave enough to blog it. And just for the record, your scenario/situation reminds me (almost to a T) of how Kirsten was conceived.

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  36. girl, my advice is save up for an IUD. not sure how much the one you want is, but I have mirena. Actually just got my 2nd one put in last year (1st 5 yrs on it were awesome). also, talk to the hubs about the ol snipperoo maybe?

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  37. Ooo! Good point, Leah! If you guys are that sure you're not, why not have him snipped?

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  38. ^^^ack. I meant, if you're sure you're not having any more kids.

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  39. I was a bad person on birth control. Yuck. And I have sworn I am done with it forever. Go figure that my husband, who swore he'd never wear a condom, well, would do whatever I wanted when it came down to getting it. OR NOT. hahaha. ;)

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  40. Wow! Thank you so much for sharing. I am having a ton of those same problems, and it feels so good to know I'm not alone! You rock for posting this!

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  41. LOL love that you're keepin it real here! I had said for years I am "allergic" to birth control ha it made me literally a crazy person, like white padded room crazy.
    PS. Pecker poncho is literally the funniest thing I have ever heard!!!! you need to tell your MIL not to read this post hahaah!

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  42. I was on BC for about 3 years and then stopped when I didn't really have any use for it plus I was tired of shelling out the money for it. Of course when I hear about all of the nasty side effects it can have I'm glad I've stayed away from it. My hubby doesn't know anything other than wrapping it up. Ha! I think I'd give NFP a shot if my body was ever normal enough to ever try it!

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  43. Same exact boat here! My son is 11 months old - and even though I was breast feeding I got my period back SUPER early (FML) and ugh between the pill and breast feeding my poor poor husband...I feel 900 times better now (so does he) and I also just track myself on mycycle.com to be extra careful about ovulationnnnnnn time lol :)

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  44. we are in the same boat, dont worry about the IUD the mirena is horrible, not only getting it but the side effects are bad. weight gain, horrible temper issues.. ect.

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  45. The pill freaks me out. I tried 3 different ones when we first got married, even though I didn't want to. I didn't want to have to take a pill, and look at the slew of side effects and things it can cause. No, thanks. Well, the 3 I tried didn't work well, anyway, and after I had E, I tried the Nuva Ring. And blacked out. So, ponchos FTW. ;)

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  46. Natural family planning scares the crap out of me, as I'm not very organized about keeping on top of things. So I eventually went Nuva ring and it has been okay. Not perfect but better than the pill! It's not as freaky as you think to use it.

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  47. Yep. I couldn't stay on the pill after my first child was born either... it made me like crazy emotional and I didn't want my husband to come anywhere near me! Once I stopped taking it we were both a lot happier!

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  48. I've tried everything except two of them...
    Nuva Ring- because it creeped me out to have to shove something and let it sit up there and I would try an IUD but can't afford it right now.

    BC- Never could remember it...FAIL!
    Depo(shot)- Had my period for 3 months straight and became anemic...FAIL!!
    Patch- Really? Who created that..FAIL!

    For the last 7 years I've been off of all birth control and I have felt great. The hubs ponchos up until we start to try and so far it has worked for us.

    I love that you call it a pecker poncho...I just keeping giggling to myself.

    Thanks for posting about this...as you can see by your number of comments alot of deal with this same issue :)

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  49. You really know how to grab a reader - I couldn't help but finish this post after reading the first couple lines! Ha!

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  50. Amen sister! I was on BC for years and then it started making me sick and having NO drive. So it's the condom train!

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