April 3, 2012

Sometimes...

Some days I don't want to be a mom.  You know the days, right?  You have them too {please say I'm not alone in this feeling}.  
Saturday Jimmy and I thought it'd be fun to go stay with my parents for the night, Kendall and the dogs too.  Jimmy was looking forward to drinking beers and watching the game with my dad and I was excited to raid my mom's fridge.  We all know how much I love weekends at my parents and this weekend started out no different. But around 2am, Sunday morning, things took a turn for the worse.  Kendall, Jimmy, the two dogs and I were all snoozing away {all in one room} when KP decided it was party time. She decided that the hours of 2-5:30 were prime time and she was going to let us in on the fun.  I tried rocking her, giving her warm milk, giving her a dose of Tylenol, tried cosleeping for the first time ever, and she laughed in the face of everything.  Jimmy even tried telling her a story of "the mean little girl that wouldn't let her mommy & daddy sleep", she laughed, literally.
At that point, I wanted to give up. I wished I wasn't a mom and I wished I could just walk into the other spare room and go to sleep.  My mom even woke up and asked if we wanted to send her to her room to watch some MMC to which I replied, "no! she's just being an A-hole".  Nice, mother-of-the-year right here.  
I was just so frustrated and mad and felt completely out of control. Why wasn't she listening?  Why was she so wide awake?  Why weren't any of our methods working?  And, for the love of God, why the hell wasn't she going to sleep!?
I know she was in the pack-n-play.  She was in an unfamiliar room.  She was sleeping in the same room as 2 other people and 2 dogs. I get it. These things are not normal for her and so I guess I should have expected something like this.
The thing is this was our first experience with an all night wake-full.  Sure we had sleepless nights when she was an infant, but nothing like this.  At least then I could go in, give her a bottle and BAM she was out.  This was nothing like that.  This was miserable.  So much so that we contemplated just loading up the car, at 4 am, and heading home.  We should have done that.
Then I think of our summer vacation.  It's not till August and she'll be 2 by then and I pray that 4 months makes all the difference. If not, it's going to be one hell of a miserable vacation.  By then she'll be too big for the PNP {she's practically too big for it now} but she won't be in a big girl bed at home at that time {crib as long as possible!} and I doubt the beach house will have an actual crib.  Our plan was to just have her sleep with us for the week but now I'm starting to wonder if that will even be possible. 
It's not often that I throw in the mom white towel.  For the most part I can handle a lot.  Jimmy has patience beyond my comprehension but that night?  We were both throwing our hands up.  
First time for everything, right?
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26 comments:

  1. I hear you lady! It's not a bad thing to want the few hours of sleep you already get. I feel the same way with the dog and she isn't even a human! Hopefully being with grandparents means a long nap for you :)

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  2. You are definitely not alone in that feeling. I was not blessed with a great sleeper and am also not at my best in the middle of the night. There have been many times that I have been beyond frustrated and wanted to throw the towel in!

    Good luck on your holiday. I'm sure 4 months will make all the difference xx

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  3. First, they might have a crib. Legit. They had one at our beach house last year. Second, you're going to be doing so much, she's going to pass out from exhaustion. You'll be fine.

    And yes, she was being an asshole, but that asshole is a primer for pre-teen moody.

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  4. Totally get this! This is how I feel a lot of the time when Chloe won't eat. Saturday while I was trying to feed her dinner, I literally broke down and cried. Like, the ugly kind of cry. Mascara running down my face sobbing, trying to talk through my tears, crying...it was bad. I'm sure Andy was trying to hold back his laughter. It was ridiculous!

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  5. A night similar to this is when I hit my breaking point. They are such little boogers sometimes. Totally get it.

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  6. Oh I hate nights like this and it will pass...promise. I think on vacation she will probably get so worn out from the day to day vacation activities that she will probably sleep all night...Hopefully???

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  7. Ugh, I hate those nights - MISERABLE! And as for your vacation, you might do a google search for baby rental companies in the area or ask your hotel/condo if they can recommend one. We are going to Florida later this month and we found a place that rents high chairs, pack-and-plays, cribs, any kind of stroller you can imagine, and even car seats! Of course, you bring your own linens and whatnot (and Lysol wipes if you're me - ha!). The place we found rents cribs for like $50 per week, which includes delivery, pickup, and setting it up for you! It would totally be worth it for a good week of sleep!

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  8. Oh girl don't beat yourself up! We are all there at some point!


    Vacation-- I hear there are some toddler blow up mattresses. We travel to our parents' homes enough that we are looking into it.

    Or what about a pallet (sp?) on the floor with an egg mattress and surrounded by pillows?

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  9. We all have our moments where we just don't know what else to do. And I believe 4 months will make a difference. Since Mia has turned 2, the past 5 months have changed her significantly.

    Remember, just because it happened once doesn't mean it will always happen again. It could have easily been a fluke. Hang in there. Don't think too much into it. Things will be great on your vacay!

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  10. Can't the dogs watch her?? They should start pulling their weight and I'm sure they find time to get plenty of sleep! ;)

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  11. Oh yeah, we've made a 2am trek home from my parent's house more than once. It is sucky. And the next morning I usually wish I could leave her in her room all day long, honestly.

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  12. Silly girl. I told you come into my bed and let her watch mmc. Apparently at Mimi's house 3 am is the haunting hour. She did that the last time she spent the night. 3-5:30. We had a snuggle mmc party then went down to wake pa pa up and made him watch Dora. Now you know why I watch her at your house. Tee hee hee. Everybody sleeps. We had fun despite the chaos.

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  13. I love you for saying that sometimes you don't want to be a mom. Because I've had a few of those moments lately and I needed to hear that other mommas feel that way too. So, thanks.

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  14. You, too!?! I just wrote about the damn kids of BlogLand giving their parents a hard time.

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  15. Ugh, the worst!

    Nothing more frustrating than your kid being awake and you wanting to be asleep!

    It's okay to have those moments. And thanks for keepin' it real!

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  16. My daughter did that to a few weeks ago too but we were at home. It was soooo weird. She was wide awake from about 3:00-6:30 AM, by the time she went back to sleep I had to get up for work. We tried rocking, milk, diaper change and cosleeping too. she just would not go back to sleep. She's only done that once but it was weird.

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  17. you are certainly not alone! we have all felt that way before! we are going to beach, too, this summer and we're renting a crib because they are not offered at the condo. maybe there's a place that rents wherever you're going(?)

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  18. My daughter did the exact same thing about 3 months ago, only we were in a hotel room, (I'm sure the neighbors loved us!). I'm still a little worried about hotel rooms, so I get it.

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  19. Oh girlie - I have these thoughts these feelings more times then I would like to admit. HOWEVER, I do have to say that within 4 months your daughter will grow, change and be more mature within that time!!! It will work out!!

    Just know you are NOT alone!

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  20. I hear you! And you are NOT alone! I'm sure there are a lot of mothers and fathers out there that have felt the exact same way. I know I have! My son goes through a phase around a full moon where he just doesn't want to sleep. I try everything! It's always once a month . . around the moon. Call me crazy, but it's true. Good luck on your vacation! :)

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  21. I hate when that happens. I totally would have given my daughter to my mom though. ha Grandma's love the extra play time with the babies. I get to my breaking point on these kind of nights though and totally wish I could not be a mom.

    Your next vacation you should put her in the pack and play a week before hand so she gets used to it before hand just in case. :)

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  23. I'm not a momma but I think alot of other moms could commiserate with this. There is no shame in admitting frustration.

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  24. I don't have a child but Josh does and let me tell you there is some days that I am glad I can go home and leave him at his house. I think all kids go through days like this.

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