October 9, 2012

TTC Baby Dew #2 F.A.Q.

The number one question I get when I tell people that we are TTC Baby Dew #2 is "why"?  As in, "I thought you were SO one-and-done, what made you change your mind?".  All the time.

I try to explain the change of heart the best way I can but the truth is there was not one defining moment where we were like, BOOM we want another!  It was more a combination of things and getting on the same page at the same time.

I don't mind the question, at all, because I know it's hard for me to believe that my once very only child mind is even thinking about adding another baby into the mix too.  But I'm ready and excited for our family to grow.  Like, really.

Truth is I have always been drawn to big families.  I love the hustle and bustle, the always having someone around, the love, the support, the chaos, I love it.  I've always loved going to Jimmy's families holiday parties because it's SO different from my family.  My immediate family consists of 9 people, 9, that is it.  So it's quite different but I love it.  I kept thinking how much I love all that comes with a big family, how could I not want that for my own family?

I also think about Kendall.  I can't say growing up an only child is terrible, it's not, I quite liked it, if I'm being honest.  I don't ever remember thinking or asking for a sibling and I like to think I turned out pretty good, not spoiled, not bratty {most days}.  But when I think about Kendall I want something different for her.  I see the love that Jimmy has for his brothers. My best friend has two girls, ages {almost} 4 and 6, and their relationship is so sweet.  I want that for Kendall.  I want her to have a built in friend.  Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware that it's not all rainbows and puppy dogs between siblings {even though I'm an only child I know that there will be rough times}.

And, if I'm really being selfish honest, I miss a baby in the house.  I do.  I see all of my blog friends who have just recently had babies and I get jealous.  Not of the sleepless nights but of the squishy, new babyness of it all.  The new skin, the first grins, the love, oh the love, and I can't wait to have that, all of it, back in our house again.  Lately Jimmy's been sharing his desire for all that newness too and it totally makes my ovaries ache even more.

I read back through some of my old posts, where I talked about being an only child mom, and I just laugh because I never thought I'd be here, so ready to add another baby into the mix.  But in reading those posts I can read between the lines.  I was saying things like, "I was an only child and it's FINE" or "Kendall is enough" but there were also subtleties like the word "if" thrown in there a lot.  It was almost like I knew I wanted another baby but I was trying to convince myself out of it.  I think I was just scared.  Scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it, scared for Kendall, scared to deal with the hormones again {I'm a total B-word pregnant, ask Jimmy}, scared of what it would do to me and Jimmy, I was scared.

Now?  I'm ready.  We're ready. With each month that passes I am more certain of that.  Jimmy and I are stronger than ever and I know that adding a new member to our family will only strengthen it.  Each month {you know, all two of them since we've been TTC} we get excited that this may be our month and then disappointed when it's not.  We've been trying to get Kendall used to the idea of a baby.  She used to say, "no mommy!  no baby!" any time I'd hold a baby and now {thanks to her new baby cousin, Reese, and friend, Norah} she's slowly coming around and will even give them kisses on the forehead only.

While I'm not looking forward to being fat, uncomfortable, emotional, fat, tired, ugly, fat, I am looking forward to the familiar feelings like the first kicks, seeing the heartbeat and some unfamiliar excitement like preparing Kendall for her big sister role.  In this case, I think the good outweighs the bad.

So yeah, we're ready.  Baby Dew #2, don't make us wait much longer, mmkay?


23 comments:

  1. Olivia just turned 2 and we are leaning more towards the only child side...for a number of reasons.......but, I'm so fearful that someday I will regret this decision. I feel like since we are on the fence then the appropriate answer would be "no, not right now" but at the same time, like you, I miss the newness, the baby stages, etc.

    Good luck ttc. I pray that it happens fast for you!

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  2. Congrats on trying for number 2! My BFF had the same change of heart and was very happy with her decision. Great book to check out: Taking Charge of your Fertility".

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  3. I knew you'd change your mind! :) The best thing we ever did was grow our family. Sure, it's chaos and it's FUN. my kids are in love w/each other and can't wait for this next one to get here. it is not always easy but it's always worth it. GL, dear friend. xoxo

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  4. So so sweet... praying for you girly girl!

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  5. I have 4 sisters and although 2 live out of state and are quit younger than me..I love every min of having that sister bond.

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  6. I've always known I wanted at least two kids, even though I didn't always get along with my brothers I'm thankful I have them and wanted that for my kids. I think Hunter will make a great big brother if given the opportunity. My husband however would be perfectly happy being one and done but he knows I want another so he's willing to try for it...just not anytime soon. We're thinking maybe when Hunter is around 3 if we can afford it. Daycare is so freaking expensive though.

    Best of luck to you, can't wait for the Baby Dew #2 announcement!

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  7. I'm not trying to sound all knowing, cuz I'm so not...but I always had a feeling you'd come around. I think it's really hard not to miss all the newness. I pretty much LIVE for the moments I first 'meet' my babies...it's this ridiculous flood of emotions and it's so special, and I love watching everyone meet my babies...and I know that I'm not done (although my body wants to be, ha). But I hear you. It's so much sacrifice...in the grand scheme of things..it's a small time though--for a great reward ;)

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  8. How exciting!!!! I think you'll be a great mom of 2-3-4...! Good luck with TTC! I'll be praying Baby Dew #2 makes it's appearance SOON! ;)

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  9. totally understand about coming from a small-ish family and marrying into a huge one. i have 5 counsins. thats all. the mr has 5 cousins from one aunt & uncle, not to mention all of his other cousins. the first time i went to christmas at hi grandparents i had to take a break and go outside for a few minutes. but now i love it and i wish we lived closer to all of them so that we could actually be at all of the events that they get together for.

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  10. I felt the same...I was "Not yet", "Not yet", "Not yet", and then all of a sudden "Okay." No clue what spurred that change...but it just happened.

    Crossing my fingers for you!

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  11. I hear you on the being scared if you can do it etc. I'm 11weeks ish pregnant with my second and I have a ten month old. Close together, I know. I'm terrified how this will work out. I have trouble with one sometimes! But, this was planned and I remind myself people do it all the time! Lots of people have twins first time around and survive so we'll both be able to handle this just fine. I think as long as you want to make it work, you will.:-) Not saying it will be easy, I have no ridiculous fantasies about that.

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  12. I hope #2 makes there presents known soon!! Good luck!! I am still on the fence about #2...it changes daily.

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  13. I think it has so much to do with an experience as a first time Mom too. I feel like I didn't take it all in enough with Mia and selfishly I want another chance :)

    It will happen! Can't wait to follow along on your journey!

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  14. I love your post. I came from a big family and so did my husband. I had Carter from a previous marriage and never did I think I wanted another child. I was blessed with a great child, he was an easy baby, easy toddler and now easy 6 year old. But 3 years ago (when I was in no place to be having a child) the feeling came back. Carter was 3, I just started dating my now husband and I was getting rid of Carter's baby stuff. I was crying at the thought of getting rid of all this stuff, I missed all the feeling that comes with having a baby, thought it was selfish of me to keep what I had with my siblings from Carter. He is now 6, Tim and I are married and we are trying to have a baby, it will be Tim's first but my second.

    Hopfully we can start blogging about being pregnant together. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  15. I cannot wait to dote on you and all of your pregnant self. Love this.

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  16. Praying that Dew numero two gets in your belly asap!

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  17. Hoping that Dew # 2 dreams are fulfilled quickly! xo ;)

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  18. Our thoughts and prayers are with you pretty lady. Wishing you pure success x

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  19. Praying for your family as you try to conceive. I personaly know its hard and wish you nothing but swift success! Can't wait until we see that "I'm Pregnant" post!

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  20. Praying for you, hopefully we'll both be blessed! :)

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  21. I'm so excited for you! Kendall is going to be such a sweet and fun big sister. Come on Baby Dew #2 - mama is waiting for you! Praying for your swift and safe arrival!

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