July 7, 2014

When I Stopped "Keeping Track"

Lately I've been in a place of contentment with life.  I'm happy with my family, my friends, my home, my body, my marriage.  Everything just seems and feels really good and comfortable right now.  Some people might say that that is no way to live and that you should always be looking to better yourself, your life, but I quite like this stage I'm in .

Oh wait...I already wrote a blog post on this.

That's not what this post is about though, I promise.

There was a time where I was obsessed with numbers.  The number on the scale, the number of blog readers I had, the number of calories I ate, the number of hits my blog got a certain day, etc.  It mostly related to this blog and my weight loss journey but I was constantly looking at the numbers.

Every morning I'd hop on the scale.  It didn't mean too much to me, what it said, but I had to see that number every day.  I loved seeing that number go down, obviously, but even if it didn't I still liked to see where I was at.  It almost set the tone for the day.  Weird, I know.

Then there were the calories.  My Fitness Pal has been my best friend for the last 7-10 months.  At first it was an on/off relationship but once I kicked my weight loss into high gear it was my best friend.  I would log every.single.thing. I ate, every workout I burned and I tried to get that number as close to my goal as possible.  Even when I was under, after my workouts, but was over in terms of intake, it drove me nuts.

I know, I sound like a girl with an eating disorder now.  I swear I'm not.  Hear me out.

This blog was once my baby.  There were times I couldn't fathom going as long between blog posts as I do now.  My former blogger self would cringe at the thought of not writing for weeks at a time.  I started out just like any other blogger, with zero followers, so of course when you see 1, 20, 100, 500, 1000, etc it gets you excited.  Any blogger is lying if they tell you that they "don't care about the amount of followers" because at some point we all do.  It's what keeps us going sometimes.

And, like most bloggers these days, I made a little bit of money doing this "job".  From sponsored posts, to ad spots, to FB shout outs, to product reviews, it all generated income in some way or another.  I could see when I was posting more my "income" was up.  I'm not going to lie or say I didn't care because it was awesome.  Each month I hoped to make more than the month before, it was almost like a game.

Those days were exhausting.

I have officially stopped counting my calories and the last time I hopped on the scale I was 3lbs from my goal weight.  I stopped letting those numbers mean something to me and just started being happy with where I am now.  No I am not at the end of my journey, I don't know when I will be, but right now I am making progress every day and that's what it's about.  I have learned enough over the past several months to know what's good and what's bad when it comes to food and weight loss.  There are still areas that need major improvement but also I have come a long way and I'm proud of my body.  That scale cannot take that away from me.

As for this blog...instead of writing because I "have to" I'm writing because I want to.  I'm truly not worried about whether what I write is going to bring in new readers or if it's Pinterest worthy.  I'm not checking my stats to see if my hits have gone up this month or if I'm making more money than I did last month.  I'm really getting back to "old school blogging" as I like to call it.  Back to basics, when it all was just sharing thoughts with the world without the pressure of the numbers.  That's not what it's about for me anymore.  Sure, the extra money that this blog generated was nice while it lasted but it also came with an added pressure that I just can't put on myself anymore.

I know a lot of you are like, "Whew!  Good!  We hate sponsored posts!".  That's not to say that I won't do one ever again or that I'm not interested in partnering with other businesses and companies but I am being more selective because my time is more valuable than a $50 post on lawnmowers {or something}.

When I stopped keeping track and quit worrying about the numbers I felt free.



  1. Well done girl - i need to try my best to stop "keeping track" but it's a lot easier said than done!!

  2. Love this post and love your blog! Keep doing whatever is best for you!

  3. That is so awesome girl!!! I long to be where you are someday. The scale totally dictates my mood most days and I count every single calorie and I'm really trying to find that balance and find contentment in it all. You are my inspiration!

  4. Love this!! :) So very very very true!

  5. this is exactly it!!! it makes a world of difference, doesn't it?