I've thought about this post for a long time. I've written it a couple different ways, completely scratched them all and kept just the title 'balance' as a draft for months now because I knew I wanted to write about it but I just didn't know how.
I want to talk about balance and contentment.
I've been thinking a lot about what's important to me recently- doing some soul searching. What I want my kids to see. What I want my kids to remember. Where my energy should be spent. How I could make better use of my time. Who I am reaching. And how I want to be known/remembered. The truth is, I haven't been living a very balanced life. I've been spending way too much time focusing on things that really don't matter, in the grand scheme of things, and things that really don't add value to my life.
Diet and exercise are a huge part of my life. I feel better when I eat well and get in some sort of physical activity. But it was getting to an almost obsessive point where I was MAD if I couldn't exercise. I was annoyed when the scale would fluctuate. I had to get in AT LEAST 6 days of exercise every week or I felt like a failure. If I got on the scale and it was up even .2 lbs I would make sure to stick to a strict 1200 calories that day. And then guess what I realized? I had hit my goal weight and then some. I was officially at the lowest weight I had ever seen and I could still find a flaw on my body. My stomach still looked like a deflated balloon. I still wanted to lose two more pounds, 2!!!
That was this time last year. Now I am more flexible with my diet. I eat pizza even if that means I go over my calories that day. I workout but if my kids want me to play with them, I break out a board game and lay on the floor with them. Recently I've been lucky to get in about 3-4 days of exercise each week and you know what? I feel great about it! I'm still active, my clothes still fit the same, and you know what? I haven't even been on the scale! I've learned how to balance that part of my life.
Same goes with blogging. I used to be diligent about posting AT LEAST 5 days a week. Monday through Friday I had to have a post live on my blog daily. Then it got to be too much. I started oversharing because I had no real content. Now I blog when I feel good about it, when I have something I want to say. If that means I post once a week or once a month, so be it. I also pick my sponsored posts the same way. If it fits into my purpose, I'll choose it, if it doesn't I pass. My goal is to always provide more real content than sponsored posts and that will never change.
I've scoured Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest and blogger for hours. Spent so much time interested in other people's lives that I've missed out on my own. I've been jealous of people I've never even met and probably never will. I've spent money that we didn't have because I had to take advantage of a sale that came through my inbox.
I've recently been unsubscribing from all retail emails that grace my inbox in hopes of avoiding the want and focusing on our needs. I've slowly been unfollowing online boutiques on my social media accounts for this reason too. I'm really trying to focus on what we have, how fortunate we are and being grateful for those things rather than wanting more. I'm learning how to be content in this stage of life.
I don't want to be known for posting a minimum of 3-5 times a day on Instagram. I don't want my kids to think I'd rather workout than play with them. I don't want to miss out on amazing things like funnel cakes because it doesn't fit into my calorie allowance. I don't want to be envious of people or go broke trying to keep up with The Jones's.
I want to be happy with what I have. I want to live a full and balanced life and I don't want to miss a minute of it. If that means I am not the most successful Beachbody coach, so be it. If that means my blog following never grows beyond the number of readers I have today, that's fine. If I never have a Pinterest-worthy house or six-pack abs, THAT'S OK!
I am giving myself permission to enjoy what I do have, the person I am, and the life I am currently living.