November 19, 2015

Balance and Contentment

I've thought about this post for a long time.  I've written it a couple different ways, completely scratched them all and kept just the title 'balance' as a draft for months now because I knew I wanted to write about it but I just didn't know how.

I want to talk about balance and contentment.

I've been thinking a lot about what's important to me recently- doing some soul searching. What I want my kids to see. What I want my kids to remember.  Where my energy should be spent.  How I could make better use of my time.  Who I am reaching.  And how I want to be known/remembered.  The truth is, I haven't been living a very balanced life.  I've been spending way too much time focusing on things that really don't matter, in the grand scheme of things, and things that really don't add value to my life.

For example:

Diet and exercise are a huge part of my life.  I feel better when I eat well and get in some sort of physical activity.  But it was getting to an almost obsessive point where I was MAD if I couldn't exercise.  I was annoyed when the scale would fluctuate.  I had to get in AT LEAST 6 days of exercise every week or I felt like a failure.  If I got on the scale and it was up even .2 lbs I would make sure to stick to a strict 1200 calories that day. And then guess what I realized?  I had hit my goal weight and then some.  I was officially at the lowest weight I had ever seen and I could still find a flaw on my body.  My stomach still looked like a deflated balloon. I still wanted to lose two more pounds, 2!!!

That was this time last year.  Now I am more flexible with my diet.  I eat pizza even if that means I go over my calories that day.  I workout but if my kids want me to play with them, I break out a board game and lay on the floor with them.  Recently I've been lucky to get in about 3-4 days of exercise each week and you know what? I feel great about it! I'm still active, my clothes still fit the same, and you know what?  I haven't even been on the scale!  I've learned how to balance that part of my life.

Same goes with blogging.  I used to be diligent about posting AT LEAST 5 days a week.  Monday through Friday I had to have a post live on my blog daily.  Then it got to be too much.  I started oversharing because I had no real content.  Now I blog when I feel good about it, when I have something I want to say.  If that means I post once a week or once a month, so be it.  I also pick my sponsored posts the same way.  If it fits into my purpose, I'll choose it, if it doesn't I pass.  My goal is to always provide more real content than sponsored posts and that will never change.

I've scoured Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest and blogger for hours.  Spent so much time interested in other people's lives that I've missed out on my own.  I've been jealous of people I've never even met and probably never will.  I've spent money that we didn't have because I had to take advantage of a sale that came through my inbox.

I've recently been unsubscribing from all retail emails that grace my inbox in hopes of avoiding the want and focusing on our needs.  I've slowly been unfollowing online boutiques on my social media accounts for this reason too.  I'm really trying to focus on what we have, how fortunate we are and being grateful for those things rather than wanting more. I'm learning how to be content in this stage of life.

I don't want to be known for posting a minimum of 3-5 times a day on Instagram.  I don't want my kids to think I'd rather workout than play with them.  I don't want to miss out on amazing things like funnel cakes because it doesn't fit into my calorie allowance.  I don't want to be envious of people or go broke trying to keep up with The Jones's.

I want to be happy with what I have.  I want to live a full and balanced life and I don't want to miss a minute of it.  If that means I am not the most successful Beachbody coach, so be it.  If that means my blog following never grows beyond the number of readers I have today, that's fine.  If I never have a Pinterest-worthy house or six-pack abs, THAT'S OK!

I am giving myself permission to enjoy what I do have, the person I am, and the life I am currently living.


  1. Damn Girl!!!!!! Nail on the head. Best post I've read in a long time. I feel the same way and admire you for sharing. You are awesome and your kids are blessed. xo

  2. Good for you! I hit that balance 'wall' every few months - and have a minor meltdown and get all pouty for thinking I do a lot of things OK, but nothing great.

    And then I suck it up and get over it ha. But you're right -- it's a struggle for sure!

    1. I realized a long time ago that I'll never do anything GREAT. The struggle is so real.

  3. I agree! Social media is great but it gets to be TOO much. Often times after dinner, I suggest to my husband that we both put our phones down. We won't miss much on FB or Instagram. I used to post a lot more but have really cut back in the last year or so. Thanks for this post!

    1. Absolutely! I don't think the dinner table is a place for phones anyway and drives me NUTS when Jimmy has his out. I just don't want to set that example for our kids, ya know? But yes, I realized the same thing.

  4. I absolutely love this, it actually seems like a topic I would right about on my blog. I often feel like I need to write some perfect "How To" post for my blog to mean anything and get followers. But the truth is, I don't. We don't. The reason bloggers start their specific genre of a blog is because it's what they are passionate about and good at. I'm not good at house decor, I can't cook worth beans, and I'm not a fashionista. I'm a Writer and that's that. I don't have a fancy desk to sit at, I'm currently holding my laptop up with a cardboard box, and I'm sitting gone the floor in my messy living room drinking coffee. and I am so happy with that.

    I find a lot of clarity and beauty in this post, these are the posts that I am drawn too the most because I love reading (and writing) posts that make you think, it also makes you realize that Bloggers are real people, we aren't some magazine edited article. Great Job and Keep it up!

    -Ashlee Michelle

    1. Thanks so much for reading! I think the blogs that are the best, have the most loyal readers, and get people talking are the ones where people aren't trying too hard. This day and age it seems like everyone is writing in hopes of being picked up by the Huffington Post and that is not something I ever desire. I just write what feels natural and true to me and hope someone likes it or finds encouragement in it :-). You're doing a great job with your blog, keep it up!

  5. I truly believe it takes as much courage to start something as to stop it. You have grown a ton since I "meet" you and God is still shaping your world, heart and mind. You will figure out your balance sooner than later and when you do, you'll be more content then you ever thought possible.

  6. Spending Thanksgiving morning drinking warm coffee, watching my newborn sleep while the rest of the family is still sleep upstairs and catching up on blogs from the last few weeks. This is a perfect post. Instead of being annoyed that I was up all night with three different kids needing me, I'm reflecting on how lucky I am to have them. 2016 will be a year of simplifying for us too, and this post gave me lots of reminders of feeling lucky for what I have.

    Now I need to go unsubscribe from about 50 email lists