January 18, 2016

On Being 'One and Done'

Remember when Kendall was born Jimmy and I decided we were "one and done"? We were happy with our little family of three and had no intentions on expanding.  Kendall was a breeze baby. She was happy, slept pretty good, ate well, very content and everyone who was around her loved her {still true today}. It wasn't that we were traumatized after having her or couldn't handle it we just felt complete at the time and it remained that way for about two years.

Just before Kendall turned two Jimmy and I started to get The Fever.  Up until that point one of us would be ready while the other wasn't and vice versa.  Around August 2012 we started trying for baby #2. It was a surreal feeling, thinking of adding another member to our family, but we were both excited as could be.  That's how you know it's the right decision, if you ask me.

Fast forward two and a half years.  James is the opposite of his big sister in all ways.  He's been a little more challenging, more dangerous, and more demanding since he was around four months old.  He scared me.  I thought, "Maybe it's reflux?  Maybe he has a food allergy? Maybe it's an ear infection? It's probably from teething." and so on.  I could not pin point what was making my baby such a crab.  He slept great, that was his only selling point other than that he was difficult.  Now that he's older he's much more pleasant to be around, he's silly, he still sleeps great, and he makes me laugh and makes my heart beat a little faster every day.

Now we're at the point where we were when Kendall was his age.  Do we want another?  Sometimes yes, sometimes no.  We get people who say, "oh have a third!" and at the same time we get people who tell us, "three is chaos".  The truth of the matter is, it doesn't matter what any of those people say.  It doesn't matter how Kendall feels about becoming a big sister again {she doesn't want to, BTW}.  Heck it doesn't even matter what Jimmy and I want, to a point.

This is up to Him.  Just as it was the first two times I got pregnant.  With Kendall it took no time to conceive and with James it took a few months of trying.  We got pregnant the very month we were avoiding for crying out loud.  If that's not God's work, I don't know what is.

And then there's the comment, "Going to go from one and done to 3?!!!"  And I get it...it's super confusing. I did proclaim we were going to be "one and done" all over the internet.  But the only way I can describe it is that our hearts have grown.  We have matured.  Becoming a family of four has been the coolest, most challenging yet most rewarding thing we've ever done.  There are hard/long days.  There are days when the thought  of three makes me want to run for the hills. And then there are days when I miss having a baby around.  James will be in school next August and then what?  I have no babies at home two days a week and the thought of that is WEIRD! It also sounds glorious too. 

The fact of the matter is, I don't know.  I know we would never regret having another baby, how could you?  But I also know that the days of having "older" kids is nice too.  So yeah, I said we were "one and done" but now I'm saying, "who knows".  Only time will tell and I know, either way, we will be happy.


  1. What a fun adventure this could be. God has a plan for everything so just keep trusting in his timeline and it will all work out in the end. Regardless, HOW EXCITING!

    -Ashlee Michelle

  2. Shannon, I am saying this with so much love--STOP explaining yourself and your family planning to the world. I love you to death, but you do not need to "proclaim" anything to anyone about the most delicate and tender decision that lies between God, you, and Jimmy. Some things are just meant to be kept quiet, and I am a firm believer this is one of those things. Seriously. I was teasing you on your post earlier, but you really do not have to explain anything to anyone. Some people don't know, and that is OKAY to take it one step, one year, and one kid at a time. Some people, like us, have known from our wedding day that we have wanted a big family and a house full of kids. Regardless of where you and Jimmy are in this process, it IS most definitely up to God. From my standpoint of being a mom of three, I can promise you, three DOES change every dynamic in more ways that I could have ever explain and ever imagine. Some things changed for the good, while other things changed for the better, and we are still making adjustments a year later. Regrets? NEVER. My third was my miracle baby, and He definitely drove those plans not us. Whatever God, you, and Jimmy decide, the decision rests with you all ONLY, and no explanations to the world via social media or internet are needed or necessary. No one needs to validate that decision for you. That's all I'm saying. Love you.

  3. We're currently struggling with deciding if we want to try for a third. I go back and forth every day. My oldest was the same as KP. Easy peasy, happy, best baby ever. My little one is like James. Wild and crazy and didn't sleep for the first year and a half of his life. THAT nearly killed me, no joke. I turn 34 next month and I feel like our window to have another is getting smaller and smaller. It's such a big decision! But you're right, it's HIS plan and He already knows. Thanks for putting that in perspective :)

    1. I had my third at 36. I can tell you, being over 35, it was very tough on me. I was in fantastic shape and ran and did Crossfit all through my pregnancy. I still had a hard time with recovery. I really do think there is a reason why people say having babies past 35 is hard--I now know why.

  4. Hi Shannon! I loved this post! We are in the same boat- I'm perfectly content with our little family of four but open to the idea of adding another... someday. I'm ok how it works, either way, I don't have a plan or a decisive yes or no- I'm taking things one day at a time and what will come, will. Thanks for sharing!

  5. We (mostly me though) are struggling to decide about a third. I find 2 to be SO much more intense than one, even though they are very well behaved & healthy, etc etc. We'll just see how it goes too and I am ok with that for now!!

  6. I often think about having another one. Having one has been challenging for one reason or another but I sometimes feel bad for what Connor will be missing out on since he won't have a sibling. I know that no matter what, God will open our hearts and minds to His plans as He sees fit.

  7. My best friend was a fierce "one and done"... accidentally got pregnant with #2... and now they are planning on getting pregnant soon with #4!!! funny how life turns out. :-) I have two boys and I think boys are just a bit louder and crabbier than girls!!!

  8. For us .. Going from 2 to 3 was easy compared to going from 1-2.. My first two boys were so completely opposite and threw me for a loop .. I wondered for awhile if I was always going to have that baby fever feeling.. But I'm now pregnant with my fourth and can safely say I got that "complete" feeling.

  9. Adding to a family is a hard thing to decide on. I was a "I am never having kids" to a mom of 3. Even though Evan is only 3 months old Tim and I have tossed about having a 4th. That would mean one of us would have to quit our job and stay home but we would do what we would have to. Three kiddos is chaos but it is a chaos that is fun and exhausting at the same time. The decision is hard but you will know what is best for your family. {ps-I vote go for 3}

  10. I love this. It really isn't up to us. As we prepare to welcome our third into the family never knowing if we'd have one. If it is meant to be it will be if not, you'll be happy too!