April 4, 2016

An Open Letter To My Husband


I'm sorry I said, "not tonight" yet again last night, I know you hear it far too often.  I hate that by the end of the day all I want to do is collapse into our bed and, if I'm lucky, make it through one episode of Breaking Bad.  I'm not one to use the "but I've been touched all day so the last thing I want is to be touched tonight" excuse but last night it was true.

You see yesterday sucked.  I took both kids out to run errands in the rain and that probably wasn't my best idea.  Sure the errands could have waited but sometimes going grocery shopping feels like a vacation so we packed up and headed out.  Stop number one wasn't too bad thanks to Icees and popcorn but stop number two proved to be pushing the limits of our youngest.  He cried and he cried and he cried while I tried to check the items off my list at record speed.  I left the store feeling so embarrassed and defeated.  He continued to cry the rest of the day and if he demanded me to "hold you" one more time I was going to lose my shit. Kendall didn't want to eat her dinner, as usual.  Bed time became a battle, again.

Yesterday was a hard parenting day.

It won't always be like this.  These days of parenting small children are numbered and we already know how fast it goes.  Soon enough they will be able to bathe/shower by themselves.  We won't always be the center of their attention and pretty soon they won't even want to look at our faces.  We'll miss the every day request of hide-n-seek and one more push in the swing.  Before we know it we'll have that alone time we crave so badly.  Hang in there with me, won't you?

I need you by my side through these next couple years {and forever after}, OK?  One day we are going to look back on these days and think, "man we thought it was hard THEN...".  We have lots of firsts coming up- first sleepover, betrayals of best friends, broken hearts, driving and so much more that will really test us but the best part is we will experience those things together as a team.  While we are out on our beloved date night our daughter will be having her first and we will do anything but relax so let's cherish this time when our only concern is whether or not she'll be in bed when we get home.

Speaking of date night, let's have more of them.  Spending kid-free time with you is like my favorite thing to do, ever.  For real.  I remember how much fun we had when we first met and when we go out, just the two of us, it feels just like that again.  We know how to have a good time no matter the location and I love that about us.  That is why date night is so important to me.  Just when I feel like we are so disconnected and the kids have robbed us of who we really are, we go out for dinner one time and I am quickly reminded that that is not true {thank God}.

Knowing that you are my person, the one I get to do this crazy, messy life with, makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  I'm sure that feeling doesn't feel reciprocated most days which is why I'm writing this letter.  I need you to know how much I need you, love you and appreciate you.  You are the more laid back, level-headed one and I am the one that makes sure we get to church on time.  That's called balance and I think we do that quite perfectly together.

That's it, that's all I've got, I just thought you should know.  You're my person forever and always even when it seems like we'll never be more than just "mom and dad".  Even when I'm annoyed that you are going hunting again.  And even when you fart in bed.  I love you.



  1. You are not alone lady. I totally relate to all of this!

  2. You are definitely not alone! It's so hard to balance the kids and the husband. I love date nights too and we barely get to have them anymore. I'm actually really scared that we will NEVER get another date night after the third one is born because who wants to watch three kids?! Very sweet letter.

  3. It's so hard to do it all and still have something left for your spouse at night, in more ways than one. I can tell from your blog, Facebook and IG, you are very much in love with Jimmy. You are lucky to have each other.