July 2, 2010

Bottle Vs. Breast- The Great Debate

So I’m going to just put this out there, like it or not, love me or hate me, judge me if you
wish, but I do NOT plan on breastfeeding. There I said it. Is that a crime? It would
seem so based on the reactions I’ve received when I share {upon being asked, never
offered} this information with people. Some of these reactions include:

“You KNOW it’s what’s best for baby?”
“But it’s such a GREAT bonding experience”
“You should at least TRY it”
“Not even for 6 weeks?”
“But you’ll lose weight SO much faster”
“It’s SO much cheaper!”

That’s just to name a few, and most of the time they are followed by an “it’s a VERY
personal decision”. Well if it is, in fact, a VERY personal decision then why are you
berating me?! YOU, obviously, have made or will make the VERY personal decision
TO do so and for that I say, “GREAT!” “Congratulations!” Does that make me a bad
mom {to be}? I think not. I mean they invented bottles and formula for a reason, no?
I also find it a little uncomfortable when I go to the doctor’s office and hospital tours
{we’ve been on 2 so far} and I am showered with pamphlets stating “Our office is pro-
breastfeeding”. Really? Well my body is pro-bottlefeeding, what do you think of that?
They talk about “lactation consultants” and “latching on” and it seems to me like so much
work for something that is supposed to be so “natural”.
Look I know that breastfeeding is best for Kendall, I get that. I also get that it’s a great
bonding experience between mother and child and clearly I get that it’s cheaper {duh}.
I’m not dumb, I know all the facts but I also know ME.
I’ve known since day one that breastfeeding wasn’t for me {us}. It’s never something
that I have felt like I NEEDED to do. Call me selfish but Kendall has had complete
control over my body for the past 8 months {and one more still to go} and I am ready to
have it back. This means drinking a glass of wine at dinner or having a beer at a cookout
without worrying about the ole pump and dump. Judge me if you will.
In regards to the “it’s a great bonding experience” comment, what about Mr. Husband?
He wants to bond with her in that way too. He is probably looking forward to feeding her
just as much, if not more, than I am. I know I can pump but it’s a known fact that if you
switch between bottle and breast the baby COULD get nipple confusion and end up not
wanting anything to do with the breast anyway.
And maybe if I were going to be a stay-at-home mom I would “try it”, but the thought of
coming back to work with watermelons hanging from my chest and sitting in a cubicle
crying from the pain hardly sounds like a good time. I can’t even fathom the thought
of sitting in an awkward stall and pumping while on my lunch break. Something about
preparing baby bottles in a bathroom doesn’t set well with me.
Another thing I am not comfortable with is breastfeeding in public. Don’t get me wrong,
I’m no Kim Kardashian, I don’t get offended when I see others doing so publicly I just
don’t think I could do it publicly. It’s just not something I’m comfortable doing at the
mall, while eating dinner at Applebee’s, or even at my BFF’s house while we catch up
on the latest episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’m just not that into my body I
I’ve heard nothing but positive feedback from people who have breastfed and I am happy
they have had a rewarding experience, I truly am. I’m sure if I decided to give it a whirl
I would love it just the same, I don’t doubt that. I am not dumb. I have read the pros and
cons of both, weighed my options and come to a decision I am comfortable with. All
I ask is that I get a little respect for my decision. Now is THAT too much to ask for?


  1. I think every woman has the right to their own decisions without being judged.

  2. I am obvi not expecting (I dont think haha) but I have always gone back and forth on what I would do. I think its a great natural thing but honestly, I dont even like my nips touched and the thought of a small child nawing away at them just well, makes my stomach turn.

    2 of our female officers just had babies within the last 6 months and while they are on duty they have to come to the PD to pump every 2 hours, during a 12 hour shift. It just seems like a LOT of trouble for something that should be so wonderful.

    So, I feel ya.

  3. wow! well said. So I think every woman has the right to decide what they want to do with their body. I think you should stand strong on this matter!! xxxoo

  4. Thanks for voicing some of the thoughts that I have had in my head!

  5. Very eloquently stated - and bravo to you for making a stand and sticking with it. I felt the EXACT same way with my first pregnancy, and someone very wise (can't remember who!) told me that if you feel no inkling/desire to at least try it, then you shoudl NOT do it. I followed that advice and have never looked back. Yes, it was hard to deal with the criticisms, but I just said "Whatever!" and let it go.

    My daughter is 8 years old now and totally normal and healthy. In fact, she's had fewer health problems than some of my friends' kids who were born around the same time and were breastfed...not that it has anything to do with bottle vs. breast, but I like to think so!

  6. GOOD FOR YOU for being honest with yourself and going with your gut! You'll make a great parent with this intuition!!! You know what's best for YOUR baby!! I cannot stand overbearing judgemental mamas/mamas to be/people who don't even have children!! Good luck!!!

  7. Good for you, girl! :) I think every woman should have the right to choose...free of pressure..about this. I was unable to be breastfed...just like all other females in my family. I had some weird allergy. Anyway, I anticipate my child will have the same thing. I've seen the way some of ppl have been attacked...for lack of any better term...if they didnt choose to breastfeed...and that's just not okay. My friends are awesome and very supportive either way, but still.. random strangers seem to all have opinions. Anyway, kudos.

  8. Happy mom = happy baby! I never considered breast feeding either. It just wasn't for me and I knew it. No one ever gave me a hard time about it. Not to my face anyways. Not my dr. office, L's dr., the hospital, nurses, etc. It was not a topic that was up for discussion and everyone was respectful of that. My nurses asked if I was doing it, I said no way and then they gave me tips on how to stop the milk, ease the pain, etc. Don't let anyone judge you or lecture you on this. It's your decision!

  9. I totally agree with you. First of all you are right, eveyone has their own opinions and it should be their own choice. But why should people who choose to bottle feed be criticized so much?

    We don't plan on having kids for awhile, but when we do I don't want to breastfeed. I just have never thought it was something for me. Maybe because my mom didn't do it either, but I don't feel like dealing with sore and bleeding nipples and pain when I am supposed to be "bonding" with my child.

  10. Just keep being you, she'll do great! <3


  11. AMEN SISTER!!! I did NOT breastfeed (right off the bat I was not comfortable with it) and Hayleigh did amazing on formula! It is a VERY personal decision and some people have a lot of balls to ask you what your plans are. Bottle feeding significantly reduced the stress for me because I knew exactly how much she was taking in, and the hubs could help too and everything worked out great! I didn't have to worry about pumping or whipping out the boob and I could just relax. Can't wait for Miss KP to arrive!!

  12. I feel like no matter what you do you get criticism from someone.

    My BFF is breastfeeding and her MIL can't get over how "weird" it is and continues to tell her that. As if it affects her directly in some way!

    Good for you for knowing yourself and what you want/feel most comfortable doing!

  13. I don't plan on breastfeeding either, and for most of those same reasons! And yeah, I always get the stink eye when people ask and I tell them. Oh well!

  14. I think everyone has to make the best decision for them. I don't know if I could do breastfeeding either.

  15. Don't you hate how the scrutiny begins the moment you become pregnant, and extends onto forever after you have the baby? It shouldn't be that way. I hate it when people say that breastfeeding is best. I don't think that's true at all. It's definitely not best for the baby who's mom doesn't want to breastfeed, I'm sure that there would be a lot of frustration and resentment there. I have a 3 week old and I breastfeed him. Not for any particular reason, I just never thought I wouldn't. And while I haven't really had a difficult time with any of the logistics of it, the amount of time it takes is really hard. I mean, I WANTED to do this and I even get frustrated and a little resentful at times, so I can't imagine someone doing it who doesn't really have the desire. It really dictates what you can and can't do. I often can't even leave the house at all because he eats so often and I am so scared of him getting hungry in the middle of Target or something, I don't know what I would do! Leave I guess. So seriously this entire week, I was stuck in the house. And the best point you made was about your husband wanting to be involved. My husband wants to be as involved as he can and I feel so guilty when the baby is crying and I'm the only one who can calm him because I'm the only one who can feed him. I know it upsets my husband that he can't do anything about the crying :( Anyway, good for you for not making apologies about your decision, you shouldn't have to!

  16. omg, i didn't realize that was super long, sorry!

  17. Oh my stars. Seriously. I love that you posted this. Obviously, I am not pregnant (yet!) but I have no intention of breastfeeding. Ever. I may have voiced this opinion in casual conversation with my SIL (who has two kids) and my MIL and they were both horrified and immediately jumped down my throat with "but it is best for hte baby, your kids will be sickly, how selfish of you, etc". Oh my gawd. I was so disgusted. What is best for US is going to be what is best for my future, unborn children and the only people that may have a say in it will be my doctor and my husband. As long as I am not doing anything that will put my child's safety in jeopardy, I'm not sure it is anyone else's place to voice their opinion {or, really, judgments} about it unless I specifically ask for advice.

    Good for you for doing what you think is best.

  18. I have enjoyed getting to know about you and Kendall this morning.
    Thank you for stopping by the swing, and reading along.....
    I send you some oily sunshiney kisses from The Mississippi Gulf Coast....
    The decals in Kendall's room are perfect, great job!