March 22, 2012

Squishy Moments

My heart has been so full lately and I've not really gotten the chance to sit down and share it properly.  So here goes.
This whole staying-home gig has given me {and Jimmy for that matter} a whole new lease on life.  Last week I shared a tiny bit of that feeling on my vlog and later that day Jimmy came home only to reiterate what I had just recorded. So much so that I said to him, "did you read my blog today?" and he hadn't.  We're that in sync with each other {puke, I know}.
He said that he can see the change in me.  He can see that I'm happiest when I'm doing things with and for Kendall.  He said that me being home has made him realize how fast these past 19 months have gone by and how much we've missed out on  And he said how happy he was that this is where we are in life, right now.
Wow!  I was blown away.  Not only was I shocked that he felt this way {I really anticipated him resenting the fact that I was home while he slaved away at work all day} but I was so happy.  To hear those words made me proud.  This is what I was meant to do.  I was meant to be his wife and Kendall's mom.
That moment has replayed in my mind numerous times since that day.  Have I really changed?
The answer is yes, yes I have.
I have become calmer.  Is that a word?  I don't feel like I'm nearly as stressed out as I used to be.  My biggest worry of the day is what park we will go to or if Kendall will be able to sport her new Toms or is it going to be too rainy?  I love that my house is in order{for the most part}, you have no idea what a sense of relief this is to me.  I hate, hate, hate stressing over housework.
I love that Kendall is on a schedule now, one that I can count on, one that I can set the clocks by, this is huge people!  I think she even likes her new routine and is much more pleasant {for the most part}.  I can plan our days without question or hesitation now and that is a huge relief.  We make the most of each and every day now and no amount of money could ever take that away.
I've even noticed a change in my relationship with Jimmy, for the better.  I find myself being nicer and doing nicer things for him.  As horrible as that may sound, it's the truth.  I now make time to cut up veggies for his lunch, slice his bagels and put them back in the package so that when he wants one for breakfast he can just pop it right in the toaster, get the coffee ready, and put his laundry away for him.  These may all sound like little things, things maybe most wives do, but these are things that I've never done for him that I am now able to do and I enjoy doing them because they make his life easier.  It's the least I could do for all that he does so that we can live this way now.  I know he appreciates it to and makes him feel really special.
It seemed like we struggled with money more when I was working than we do now, which is odd seeing as we have less coming in now, but that has made this transition a lot easier too.  If anyone has gone from a working mom to a stay-at-home-mom, you know what an adjustment this is. It's not just the financial but the emotional, spiritual, and even physical adjustments too.  Some days, when we are having a rough time, I wonder if this was the right decision for us and then I look at the big picture, these reasons I've listed, and I know there is nowhere else I'd rather be, nowhere else I'm supposed to be.  
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24 comments:

  1. I'm so happy for you! Enjoy :-)

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  2. I love this post my friend. Truly. I can tell a difference in your whole outlook. You have made some really amazing changes and I am proud to call you one of my best friends. Lover you.

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  3. So happy that YOU are happy. You deserve every single second of it. Enjoy!

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  4. I'm going through a similar situation.

    I left/lost my job a little over a month ago and we thought that finances would be so tight, but we should be able to do it until my new job started in the fall.

    Staying at home made me so happy and my whole attitude changed! My marriage is better because of it and somehow we are able to comfortably afford things.

    Because of all the good things that have come out of it, we decided that I could stay at home indefinitely and I let my prospective employer know I wouldn't be working for them.

    Sometimes the blessings of losing your job means something so much better! It's so good to hear how happy you and your family are. That's what matters the most!

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  5. I've been struggling with if I'm going back to work and what that means for the fam yadda yadda....someone else gets it and I'm not alone! Thank you for the post and helping me feel not so crazy.

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  6. So happy for you! I know you struggled with this decision & I'm so glad it was the right one for and your family! Xo

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  7. This is made me smile!! I am so happy for you and I am sure KP loves having her Momma home with her.

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  8. The hardest part was my pride. Having to mark "unemployed" for the first time on an Army form literally made me cringe with guilt. I get over it by doing my best at my new "job" and I love this life - even the worst days are still pretty good:-)

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  9. This is so nice ;) And I am an awful wife because my husband makes his own lunch :) baha. To my defense, I still do work. But yea. I am just not very good at these home-maker things. I'm happy you're so happy though! I'm sure life is a lot less stressful but in a different way.

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  10. So happy for you and glad it is working out so well! I am trying to come to peace and adjust to my half way there compromise, it's taking longer than expected but I am still trying, you are so inspirational!

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  11. I love this! I'm so happy for you! Staying at home can be such a selfless sacrifice, but you are doing something great for your family!

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  12. That's awesome! I'm happy you are happy! And yay for doing little things for the husband... they really do appreciate it (and sometimes deserve it! hahah!)

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  13. So happy for you (and so jealous!)

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  14. Is it safe to say you're not going back to work?

    I would love love love to be SAHM and we could do it financially but it would be sooooo tight and I would feel guilty about making my hubby work so hard and I would feel like I've wasted my education...I have masters degree for goodness sake.

    Plus I do get 3 months off each year and Christmas and Spring break. I'm also afraid I would never be able to find another job once I want to go back to work. Maybe I can get fired and the decision would be made for me, he he.

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  15. So happy for you!

    I would give anything to be able to stay home with our little guy when he gets here but it's just not a possibility. It makes me so sad :(

    Glad you guys were able to work it out!

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  16. I so needed to read this today. Thank you for this post!

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  17. I LOVE this post. I am so happy for you and think it is so wonderful that you are getting to do what you enjoy and do best! Happy for you family for this special place you are in. And of course that baby girl's demeanor is better--she gets to spend all her time with her Mama!!!

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  18. Oh girl. I SO get this. I am on Spring Break this week and I feel EXACTLY the same way. I can taste summer break and I don't know how I'll wait for it.

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  19. So happy that you are so happy! That's great that you are getting to spend all that time with KP and watch her learn and grow everyday! You won't miss a single thing! One day, I'll be able to do that. Till then. I just enjoy what I can! Enjoy every single second of it! Are you gonna try and find another job, are will you stay home for good now?

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  20. so glad this new gig is going awesome for you guys!

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  21. TOTALLY get you on the "full life" thing. And WOW to your mind-reading-awesomesauce life experience (if that makes sense) SO happy for you :)

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  22. So glad the SAHM thing is working out so well for you guys. I hope that when I become a mom we can find a way to make it work because I think that will be where my heart is.

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  23. That's wonderful that everything has fallen into place and that it's a really good fit. That's so great you've been able to stay at home!

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