September 6, 2012

Quiet Time

Before I had Kendall I hated quiet time.  I hated being alone.  In fact, I cried a lot when I was alone, at my one bedroom apartment.  It was to the point where, on the weekends, I'd pack up my 10 lb Pomeranian and my weekend essentials and head to my parents.  Good thing they love me, huh?  Truth be told I was at a very dark part of my life during that time.  I had a shitty, beyond words, boyfriend and the alone/quiet time left me with time to think and and the thoughts were really the truth that I was running from.  Hence all the tears.
Fast forward 5 years and I'm in the best place I could have ever dreamed for my life.  I'm happily married, have a fantastic two-year-old, beautiful home and the most amazing and supportive family {both mine and Jimmy's}.  I am truly blessed.  
When I first moved in with Jimmy, before we were married, he had gone on vacation with his family and the thought of being alone for a week scared the you-know-what out of me.  I thought, "here we go again".  I went to that dark place.  But, day one was not so bad, no tears were shed and I actually kinda liked the quiet of our tiny, one bedroom apartment.  Each day he called me and hearing his voice, knowing he was thinking of me, was reassuring.  This is when I knew that with him was where I was meant to be.  This is where I learned that it's OK to be alone, with your thoughts.  
Now I find myself wishing for that alone time.  The time to just sit, in the quiet, uninterrupted by dogs going in and out for the 107th time today, toddler demands of "mo, fruit {s}nacks!!!" and a husband who messes up the kitchen table as soon as I clear it off.  In fact, I crave it.  
Yesterday I got up at 6:30 determined that I was going to start my early morning work-outs again.  I quietly tip-toed down the hallway and into the playroom and hoped on the treadmill.  I plugged in my iPhone and just as I was about to switch on the Pandora James Morrison station I stopped.  I unplugged it and just walked, in the quiet.  I watched the sunrise from my bay window view and listened to the lull of the cars speeding by.  I didn't even bring the monitor with me, figuring if Kendall did wake up she'd play in her crib long enough for me to burn 200 calories.  And I did just that.  It was beautiful.  It was quiet and I was with my thoughts.
I enjoyed that 37 minutes so much that, in that moment, I vowed to do it every day.  Instead of waking up early to blog or catch up on last nights Big Brother I want to just be in the quiet.  Yes, that sounds lovely.
And then Jimmy came in at 6 this morning to give me my good-bye kiss and tell me to have a good day and guess who I heard over the monitor?  At 6am!?  
It wasn't Chanel. 
Or Casey. 
There's always nap time.


  1. Oh boy. I crave those days too. So badly. But when they do come, I want nothing more than to be with the noise again.

  2. I remember those wretched days and am so glad they no longer exist in your life. it was a really (beyond) shitty time. I also crave quiet time. I didn't get it this morning either. mine both got up as soon as my feet hit the floor.

  3. I agree. I used to hate being alone but now that I have an almost 2 year old, nothing sounds better some days than peace and quiet. Then when I finally have some alone time, about a half hour into it, I miss her. Its a vicious cycle!

  4. I thrive on a little alone time :)
    just a little is all I need.

  5. That is so funny - I was the same way. I never wanted to be alone but now what is alone time? Even when I take a bath I have kids running in and out.

    Super funny

  6. I am so with you on this! I love my early morning exercise and quiet time, to prepare for the day ahead. It sure does make the rest of the day smoother for me, I hope you are able to get in your quiet time during naptime!

  7. Alone time is the best! I guess I feel thankful to have a family so I can appreciate alone time more. I love every second of it and it makes my time with the family even better. Great post! I can so relate!

  8. I started doing early morning work outs but one week later the toddler decides 545 am is perfect to wake up. Ugh.

  9. I think all of us Mama's crave some quiet time now and then. But isn't it funny how if we get just a little too much we start craving the noise again? Our brains are effed up.