I was a part of the conversation though, meaning I was involved. I said things that I wished I wouldn't have. I indulged the ugly. Afterward I sat and reflected on what had just happened, what was said, what I said and I didn't like it.
This isn't the first time I've found myself in this situation. Let's face it, gossip is my middle name. I normally can dish it just as quick as Paula Deen on Thanksgiving. But this time it felt different, it felt wrong.
Maybe it's because we've been going to church and I've been viewing life through different, renewed eyes. I no longer wish to partake in such behavior that leaves me feeling so convicted afterward. I on'y want to surround myself with people who are going to bring me up, make me feel better, make me grow as a person, make me learn something, make me better.
Now that Kendall is growing up, repeating after my every word, and learning from me this is especially important. She sees my actions, the way I dress, the way I interact with her daddy. She hears the words I say and when I laugh. She knows things way beyond what I give her credit for. She is impressionable.
If I would have caught her engaging in the type of behavior that I was a couple weeks ago I would have scolded her. I would have told her that was wrong, disrespectful and definitely not God-like and encouraged her to surround herself with a different "group".
I found this quote shortly after this conversation and I felt like it was God looking down on me and telling me all those things I would be telling Kendall. He was sending me a message, one that I needed, loud and clear. He wants me to be more like Him and in doing so I need to surround myself with people who are aiming for the same goal, to be more like Him.
Instead of agreeing with the crowd I want to share my voice, even if it's different than the majority. Instead of chiming in with another hateful comment I will think about how that would be perceived if it were to "get out". Instead I will stand up for what I believe in or what feels right instead of giving into the devil.
Whether you are a fan of Oprah or not, I think we can all agree that this quote is relevant. It's easy to go with the flow, agree with the crowd, indulge in a little "gossip" but at the end of the day it's the people who lift us higher that make the biggest impact. I want to be that person.