I was a part of the conversation though, meaning I was involved. I said things that I wished I wouldn't have. I indulged the ugly. Afterward I sat and reflected on what had just happened, what was said, what I said and I didn't like it.
This isn't the first time I've found myself in this situation. Let's face it, gossip is my middle name. I normally can dish it just as quick as Paula Deen on Thanksgiving. But this time it felt different, it felt wrong.
Maybe it's because we've been going to church and I've been viewing life through different, renewed eyes. I no longer wish to partake in such behavior that leaves me feeling so convicted afterward. I on'y want to surround myself with people who are going to bring me up, make me feel better, make me grow as a person, make me learn something, make me better.
Now that Kendall is growing up, repeating after my every word, and learning from me this is especially important. She sees my actions, the way I dress, the way I interact with her daddy. She hears the words I say and when I laugh. She knows things way beyond what I give her credit for. She is impressionable.
If I would have caught her engaging in the type of behavior that I was a couple weeks ago I would have scolded her. I would have told her that was wrong, disrespectful and definitely not God-like and encouraged her to surround herself with a different "group".
I found this quote shortly after this conversation and I felt like it was God looking down on me and telling me all those things I would be telling Kendall. He was sending me a message, one that I needed, loud and clear. He wants me to be more like Him and in doing so I need to surround myself with people who are aiming for the same goal, to be more like Him.
Instead of agreeing with the crowd I want to share my voice, even if it's different than the majority. Instead of chiming in with another hateful comment I will think about how that would be perceived if it were to "get out". Instead I will stand up for what I believe in or what feels right instead of giving into the devil.
Whether you are a fan of Oprah or not, I think we can all agree that this quote is relevant. It's easy to go with the flow, agree with the crowd, indulge in a little "gossip" but at the end of the day it's the people who lift us higher that make the biggest impact. I want to be that person.
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Such a great post! I try to do that too but it can be hard sometimes.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Shannon. I'm doing a Beth Moore Bible study about James and one of the major lessons I have learned so far is how important it is to hold our tongue! I have also been guilty of participating in gossip and saying things that aren't very nice so this study has really been speaking to me. We have also learned that it's just as bad to be there and not speak up for the person being talked about as it is to actually participate in the gossip! Talk about being convicted! I swore that passage was written for me! And you are so right, as mothers of daughters it is our job to teach them how to be good people and we have to do it by setting the example. Thanks for sharing your heart! Each time I read these posts, I find myself nodding along in agreement. It sounds like you and I are in a similar place right now and it is so helpful to me to see someone else writing about some of the things I have been feeling.
ReplyDeleteAmen! Good for you, it's so easy to get caught up in the gossip but it takes a much bigger and stronger person to step away from the conversation or do like you said, share your opinion even if it's not what everyone else thinks. God will scold you because he does want you to be like Him and all things you do should glorify Him. It's no coincidence that you felt convicted after your conversation... it's great that you realized it and are going to fix it. I had the same struggle when I first started to go to church, things that I'd been doing for all my life started to feel wrong and I had to step away. Good job!
ReplyDeleteI hate that feeling. That feeling when you know you have given into something ugly! I've been trying to be better with it too, but it is so hard sometimes when someone is driving you nuts and it becomes so easy to just talk shit. It isn't right and it doesn't feel good. Glad you posted about this!
ReplyDeleteI like to partake in the gossip circle too sometimes, but as I get older I find it becoming a habit that I really care to break now. I agree, it's best to get rid of that kind of negativeness and surround ourselves with the positive.
ReplyDeleteIt's so easy to get caught up in these conversations...I am so guilty. My Tim always tells me it's easy to get caught up in a "mob mentality" conversation. Tim and I try so hard to be a light for God but are trying to make sure that we do not tarnish our message by our actions. It's our focus lately and I will admit it's so hard to do...I am so guilt of letting a couple "trucker" words slip out of my mouth in or be judgmental when I have no idea I am being so. I think you are a very sweet person.
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree with you more! I find that when I surround myself with positive people who are trying to be more like Him, then it encourages me to be better. Gossip is hard and I struggle with that too. Sometimes I find myself in those same situations and chiming right on in with everyone else. But, you are right, you immediately feel convicted! Love this post from you Shannon! Keep surrounding yourself with the good!
ReplyDeleteGood for you.. I've been catching myself lately as well, need to remember that those little ones look up to us and we want them to grow into amazing people.
ReplyDeletethis is what i've been trying to do as well. it's hard, but it's definitely a better feeling.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great post, and I totally agree with you. It's so easy to sometimes just go along even when we know we shouldn't. Surrounding ourselves with good people helps. And I know exactly what you mean about how your little one sees and hears everything. I don't want to have moments with the boys in the future that I look back on and feel like this or that happened because of something they saw me do or heard me say.
ReplyDeleteThis is great- I love the quote. You are so right! Landing on the other side of mean gossip has lead me to realize how wrong it is. I am trying to do better. Be better. Thanks for standing up for what you believe in and sharing it with all of us. We all should take something away from this post.
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration to us all!
ReplyDeleteShannon, I first commend you for recognizing that what you did was wrong and wanting to do what's right and wanting it to be better for your daughter and setting an example! Proud of you, girl!! Xo :)
ReplyDeleteSimply love this post - thanks for a great reminder!
ReplyDeleteLOVE THIS! So so so true! And it's a constant issue we have to work on! Just when we think 'we've got this' the devil comes in and makes his move...but there's always Grace. Always chance for improvement. Thank you for this reminder today, as I'm having a hard time being nice! ;)
ReplyDeleteLove this post!
ReplyDeletethis is such a struggle for me. i am quick to be judgmental and way too mean girl, but i so don't want e to be that way so i'm working on correcting that. i do find that if i surround myself with others who are aiming to be closer to Him then I will do the same. good for you for catching yourself :)
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