April 29, 2013

Stuck in a Rut

Yesterday was our first day back in church in nearly ::gasp:: 6 months.  What can I say, Jimmy working 3rd shift really messed it up for us.  He usually slept until 11 or 12 on the weekends and I am guilty of being selfish and not wanting to deal with The Toddler and making sure we got to church on time, alone.  Kendall hadn't been a big fan of church and every time we went it was a meltdown and one week the "teacher" even told us the only way she could keep her calm was to let her play with her iPhone.  Yeah, we have that kid.

So rather than deal with the tantrums only to make it through the music portion of service to get pulled out, I just quit going.  It was hard enough when Jimmy was with me so doing it alone seemed impossible.  Poor excuse but it is what it is.

Saturday night Jimmy asked me if I wanted to go to church this weekend. I said, "sure" but only half meant it.  It was more of a if we wake up, get showered and out the door on time, "sure".  I wasn't fully committed. I woke up around 8 {another perk to Jimmy being on days is he wakes up with KP on the weekends now!!!} and by the time I had my coffee and breakfast it was 9 o'clock and I just figured we wouldn't go {church starts at 10}.  And I was OK with that.  But Jimmy pushed, he was determined to get us to church on time.

We decided before we went that Kendall was going to go to the Sunday school class instead of the daycare this time.  Since she's used to only ever being left with family we had told her how fun it would be, she'd meet new friends, make a craft, sing songs, etc but she was even reluctant which made me even more OK with not going.

But when we walked through the doors I instantly felt like today {yesterday} was going to be different.

Kendall walked into Sunday school like a champ.  She told the teacher her name, "Kendall Paige Dew" without hesitation and I finally felt good when we left that room.

When we sat down for the music portion of service I had finally looked at the program to see what the message was going to be about, "Stuck In a Rut- New Rules for Love & Relationships".  It wasn't coincidence that brought us to church yesterday.  God's handiwork was all over this.

At first I was all, "we aren't stuck in a rut!" but upon listening to the message, we totally are.  We have forgotten how to communicate, respect, and honor each other {I still blame 3rd shift for this}.  Sure we still loved each other but we hadn't been showing it, as of late.

Our pastor talked about communicating with one another.  How submitting to our husbands {and husbands to their wives} isn't a sign of weakness, often confused with dominance, but a sign of strength.  A lot of times our main goal in a relationship is winning and with submission you get just that.  By submitting to your husband you are ultimately showing him that you are a Godly woman and showing by example the way of the Lord.  I often times am guilty of speaking before I think, and my big fat mouth gets in the way of leading by example.

Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV 

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ...

Another point that hit home was the financial aspect.  Jimmy and I are both guilty of spending money without talking to the other but then getting mad when the other does the same thing.  We learned today that doing that to one another is not only a bad move financially but also very disrespectful of the other.  When I stretch our budget too far it makes Jimmy feel like he can't provide for us and therefore inadequate.  When he comes home with a fancy new "toy" it makes me feel like "well it's his money..." but in reality, it's our money. Our money should be treated as such and therefore should be something we discuss.  Because, after all, we should be happy with what we have instead of trying to "keep up with the Jones'".

Hebrews 13:5 ESV

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Of all the days to decide to start attending church, yesterday could not have been more perfect for us, God definitely knew what he was doing leading us there.  I'm actually sad that we missed the first part of the series and that next week is going to be the last.  But I am grateful for what we learned yesterday and cannot wait to see what God has in store for us next week.


  1. So glad that you guys had a great Sunday. Looks like it was a good weekend to reconnect all around!

  2. I can totally relate to this. Getting the toddler to actually stay in the nursery? Never happens longer than worship for us. Same situation- only two or three people, all family, have ever watched her. And it's hard! But we need to get back in the swing of things and go back!

  3. See, timing is truly everything!!!!!! :)

  4. That's awesome that KP did so well! Hopefully you can make it "the norm" and she won't even think twice about going to Sunday School. But those kiddos definitely go through stages. My girls are both in a stage of never ever ever wanting to sit still. GREAT. It's worth the struggle now if it means they'll be good later I suppose!

  5. That's awesome! Chase was having a hard time with daycare so we've taken a couple weeks off. Thanks for motivation to go back!

  6. I don't blame you for not wanting to take a toddler to church by yourself. I don't think I would do it. More so, because our church doesn't have daycare/sunday school during service. We normally go to church every weekend but after the weekend before last when I almost passed out in church, was very figgity and uncomfortable the whole time I decided (selfishly) that I wasn't going back until baby is born. I love church but I like being comfortable and not feeling like I am going to pass out when I am there.

  7. The good Lord is funny about putting you where you need to be at the right time. Glad you guys had a good Sunday.

  8. I feel you on struggling to get to church. B hates the nursery but also doesn't want to be in the service. So there have been many weeks I have wsndered the halls with him wondering why I even put forth the effort to even go. But then I remind myself that at least at a young age he is experiencing church. And what a great message. One thing we have done since the beginning of our marriage is to never spend money without talking to each other. Of course I don't ask before I go grocery shopping if I can go, but I'll ask what the budge is for that week, etc. It's annoying at times, but it's helped us avoid a lot of money fights I'm sure.

  9. It's pretty awesome that the Lord is always there when you need him. :) And it's pretty amazing when he speaks to you in ways that make you listen. So glad to hear your Sunday was a Fun Day!

  10. I'm happy to hear you had a nice Sunday. Coming from one of the "nursery teachers" consistency is everything. They may hate it for weeks, but it will change. They just have to get used to us! And don't worry about the fussing and screaming - we don't mind it, otherwise we wouldn't be there! (If it's not our kid crying, it's not nearly as annoying!)


  11. I'm so glad to hear the timing was great for you guys! We've had a hard time getting back into going to church since Knox & Sloane were born. It's a hard season, but His timing is also showing us the right time for things :) xo