May 13, 2013

Marriage Vows, Rewritten

Remember how we went to church for the first time in 6 months and walked away thinking, "WHOA!  If that wasn't divine intervention I don't know what is?"  Well after that I started really evaluating myself as a wife.  What things could I be doing that I wasn't doing already?  What could I do better?  What am I doing "wrong"?  And I really started looking at me, through Jimmy's eyes.

When we got married we didn't write our own vows, I really wish we would have looking back now.  So I thought to myself, "I can still write my vows" and so I did.  I complied a list of new promises I want to make to my husband.  Things that I have recognized about myself, he would never try to "change" me, that could use improvement and strenghten our marriage.  Some of them are huge, some of them are small, some of them are silly but all are equally important.

I wrote a letter to him and inside were my "new vows".

I promise to shut down social media once you are home
I promise to not talk negatively about you to anyone. Ever.
I promise to start treating "blog money" as real money.
I promise to be more open to movie suggestions.
I promise to be more supportive of your goals.
I promise to be better about laundry so that you always have clean socks, underwear, and work clothes when you need them.
I promise to help with "your chores" when I can.
I promise to limit TV time and do more quality things, as a family.
I promise to send you a picture of KP every day.  Because seeing her face will make even the shittiest day better.
I promise to make dinner more nights than not.
I promise to lose all of this baby weight {and then some} so we can be the hottest mom/dad duo, EVER.  {wait, that one was for me...}

And so instead of nagging about things I'm taking the initiative to start changing things I do, leading by example, and that speaks volumes. Doing things, even when they are small, makes such a greater impact than harping on things beyond our control.

Some days are easier, I've missed a few days of texting a picture of Kendall, but for the most part I am succeeding at all of my promises thus far.  I can already tell a difference in our marriage and, most of all, in my attitude. Instead of getting annoyed or saying things without speaking I simply remember what our pastor said about being a Godly woman and that by setting the example the rest of the family will follow suit.

It's funny, if I would have written my vows on our wedding day they would have been so much different than they are now.  It kinda makes me want to renew our vows...maybe someday.


  1. my husband and I were reminiscing about our day recently. We cannot wait to do it again (someday). I agree though, our vows will be vastly different than they were the day we wed. 11 years, three house, a billion animals and one daughter later - so many things have changed, yet so many are still the same. Love this.

    My husband would be agreeing with you on the laundry thing :)

  2. this was so great to read! every couple changes and we have to adapt our lives to meet each other's needs. =)

  3. Sam got instagram for the picture reason - I'm the only one in his feed but he loves to open it up at lunch and see what Row has been doing:-)

  4. I love this post. We didn't write out vows either and have only been married 8.5 months, but after reading this I have reflected back and I could benefit from taking some of your steps as well. Once a marriage progresses there had to be some give and change in the relationship or there is a possibility of it going stale. I love your posts.

    ps. Hubby bought me Gummy Bears last night... guess what I am making tonight.

  5. I just love this, Shannon! I know you're not aiming to be the PERFECT wife, because nobody can be, but dang if you aren't a GOOD one. (and mommy) :)

  6. I feel like when I come to your blog lately, We've been going through/thinking the same things lol. Hence why I read your blog daily. Love this post. Have a great week!

    Sun-Kissed Peony

  7. Oh I just love your vows!! May just have to replicate this for myself...Lord knows we could all use a step back to evaluate our role as a wife every now and then. So glad you shared :)

  8. Shannon - this couldnt have come at a better time. My long-term,-will-he-ever-get-the-balls-to-propose boyfriend and i have had some struggles and issues over the past few .. months. Things are finally getting better, but I think taking a step back and looking at the specific ways to improve can do nothing but help. You are such a wise woman.

  9. Love these! I have a pile of laundry I am avoiding right now. Do you think I should fold it? Wah!