May 20, 2013

The Kind of Mom I Am...

You know how you read blogs, see pictures on Instagram or and update on Facebook and wonder what a day in the life of that person is like?  What kind of mom they are?  What things they let their kids get away with?  What kind of limits they have, if any?  Do they ever lose their cool?  I do and I'm here today to tell you the type of mom I am, and the type of mom I'm not.

I am the mom that doesn't over-think things.  Kendall doesn't want to eat lunch today? Fine, she won't let herself starve.  She wants to sleep with socks and slippers, sometimes shoes, on?  Sounds super uncomfortable to me but, hey, whatever floats your boat kid.  Even when she was an infant Jimmy and I were pretty relaxed when it came to most things.  We don't freak out at the first sign of a runny nose.  If she was acting hungry, we fed her.  If she fell asleep but it wasn't quite nap time, we let her sleep.  I think babies and kids know what they need, so to speak, even when they don't and so we have always let her kind of pave the way.

I am not the mom that has patience.  This is something I pray for on a daily basis and struggle with more than anything else in this parenting game.  I have a short fuse, especially when it comes to unnecessary tantrums and just plain ole bad behavior.  I have slammed doors, I have thrown toys, I have yelled to the point that my child is scared of me.  I hate that about myself and it's definitely one of my biggest flaws.  Thankfully it doesn't happen very often and normally it's very short-lived but damn, I hate it.  Thankfully Jimmy is very patient and can swoop in when he can tell I've had enough.

I am the mom who is great with sickies.  We have been fortunate that Kendall hasn't really been sick in her almost 3-years of life the most "sick" we've dealt with is when she had her allergic reaction to Amoxicillin.  But through that and the occasional runny nose, slight fever I am a champ.  Jimmy can't really handle the whiny, I can't do anything for myself, hold me, wah wah wah stuff.  But, dare I say, I like the extra cuddles and the feeling of her needing me in those moments.  Selfish?  Maybe but it's definitely an area of strength for me.

I am not the mom who thinks my kid is an angel.  In fact, when I was filling out her preschool forms it had me list character traits and I listed good AND bad ones.  Sure I think she's the cutest, funniest, silliest, smartest girl to walk the planet but I also know she is challenging, demanding, strong-willed and independent {not necessarily bad but very difficult at times} too.  If she's acting up at home or in public I am not the mom who is all "ladeeda, that's not my kid".  I know when she's being a terror and I try to do my best to defuse it but it's not always that easy.  Sometimes it means she sits under the table at Mellow Mushroom and plays a game on my iPhone.  Don't judge.

I am the mom who will let my kid make a huge mess if it'll buy me 5 minutes of peace so I can go to the bathroom alone.  Sometimes it's worth it, other times I think it would have just been easier to let her come in the bathroom and ask 5 million questions about what, exactly, I'm doing.  Again, I struggle here because I like to keep a tidy house and the thought of yet another mess to clean up breaks me out in hives but if it allows me to do something that needs to be done, a mess will be made.

I am not the mom who is a germ freak.  We don't always wash our hands after we go to the bathroom and we certainly don't wipe down the grocery cart with Clorox wipes when we go to the supermarket.  I'm a firm believer that kids need to be exposed to some germs in their lives or they will never build up any immunity therefore making them more susceptible to getting sick in the future.  Like I said, we have never really dealt with any sicknesses beyond the common cold and I like to think that's because we don't over-sterilize Kendall and everything she touches.  Now, will I let her pick up a cookie off the floor of a bathroom and eat it?  HELL no.  But if we drop something at home we definitely follow the 5 second rule.

I am the mom who would rather buy something for her kids than herself.  I'm really good at sticking to a need only rule when it comes to buying myself clothes, shoes, accessories and such but when it comes to Kendall {and now baby James} no way, I have no self control.  I like to use the logic that they are growing and therefore need new things all the time, even when that's not the case.  I'm sure every mother is guilty of this, right?  Right!?  I mean who can resist cute baby clothes?

I am not the of mom who is fun and creative.  I wish I made half of the crafts that I have pinned on Pinterest. I have good intentions but when it actually comes down to executing these ideas, I fail, miserably.  Sure we've tried a few things here and there but definitely not as many as I'd like.  When we do sit down and attempt something it's usually fun and Kendall loves it but it's just not my area of expertise.  Jimmy is definitely the creative force in this house.

I am the mom who bribes my kid.  Never say never, people.  If we are having a especially trying day I am not above offering my kid the sun, moon, and stars if it means she'll put her shoes on without arguing, for the love!  She's in this phase right now where she doesn't want to leave the house, ever, and so in order to get her to do so I usually tell her she can have a piece of candy, fruit snack, paint her toenails, whatever I need to to get her booty moving.  Sometimes it still results in a struggle but most of the time I win.  Or do I?

I am not the mom who dresses cute every day. Kendall might look adorable even if she's just in her lounge-wear but I promise, more days than not, I look like a hot mess.  When I did my "Dressing the Bump" post everyone was all, "how do you look so cute all the time?" to which I answered "You should see me now."  Because as I was typing that post I was in a maternity tank top and boxer shorts that fit last summer but definitely not this summer.  Truth is, unless I leave the house, I'm usually wearing PJ pants, not even yoga pants, and a tank or tee with a sports bra and no make up.  Just keepin' it real.

So, yeah, that's me, in a nutshell.  I'm not perfect and I certainly hope it doesn't come off that way when you read this blog or see my pictures on Instagram.  I do the best that I can and hope that in the end my family always knows I love them and is happy.  I'm not perfect but I am a work in progress.

34 comments:

  1. I feel like I was reading about myself :) Bribing happens a lot on my house. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get things moving along int he morning, or to get him to take his nap, or go to bed.....

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  2. Yup, you and I would be friends in real life :)

    Celena
    http://mystayathomemamalife.blogspot.com/

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  3. I am the same way. I've been trying to shop for myself and I hate it!!
    I normally am at home in pjs too. I unfortunately have to get dressed for work and I don't have many things that fit anymore.

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  4. You are a great mama, just the way you are. And NOT creative? Didn't we just talk about this? Hahaha.

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  5. My favorite one is the germ phobe. I cannot deal with people who antibacterial their kids to death. Kids need to be gross and eat dirt otherwise they aren't going to develop anything close to a strong immune system. It's setting them up to be Bubble Boy. I have a feeling there are lots of pj's in my future too.

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  6. I'm so glad you wrote this post. I've found myself bribing my DOG for some peace and quiet, or to stop playfully chewing on guests. I also lose my cool when he is behaving badly due to my lack of patience. Now that I am pregnant, I have a feeling these things are going to carry over in to motherhood. Hearing (or reading I suppose) posts like this from mom's with young ones make me a little less worried about what kind of mom I will be.

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  7. All I know, is that child lays her head down each night knowing her Daddy and Mommy love her to the moon and back. None of that other crap matters!!!!! XOXO :)

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  8. I love that when Carter is sick he wants me to cuddle him. I don't have patience, but do have patience for him sick whiney-ness. Like I said I don't have patience, I too have been known to yell to the point of scaring my child. I haven't really had a need to bribe my child but I know there will be a point that I will and I won't feel guilty about it. Us momma's know what works and what doesn't, that is what makes us perfect moms in our own way. I loved this post.

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  9. Oh my, what a great post! Thanks for sharing!

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  10. If I had time to write a blog I would love to do a post like this!

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  11. I love this post! What a great idea to be honest with yourself (and others) about your awesome and not so awesome mom moments. Heck yes on the bribing, btw. :)

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  12. Oh my goodness this is like reading my story. We are so much a go with the flow parenting style too and it works for us. I can't get too stressed about it or it will make all our lived miserable.

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  13. Are you sure we're not sisters? I feel like this is me to a T!! My husbnad worries about me staying home because of my patience level. Kid drops her food on the floor all the time. We threw it away at first but now? Go ahead and eat it!

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  14. sounds like my twin.
    but this post is amazing! so real and a great insight to who you are.
    i love it all!

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  15. Great post! Keepin' it real...love it!

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  16. I love this post, you remind me a lot of myself and my parenting style. My husband and I have been told many times that we're very "laid back" first time parents. But its always said with almost a bad connotation? Why bad? Sadie is thriving, healthy and happy. Isn't that all that matters?

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  17. Hi - I am SO the mom who yells to the point of scary. I hate it. I try not to. But I am human, and fallible and a hot-head. But I'm trying, so that's gotta count for something!

    LB
    www.accordingtol.com

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  18. Oh, and you might like my truths on being a SAHM I posted last week... great minds... http://www.accordingtol.com/2013/05/six-truths-on-being-sahm.html

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  19. This was a super great post! Do you mind if I use this idea sometime on my blog?

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  20. You're a GREAT mom! I think you should give lessons to some people I know!

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  21. How refreshing to read! You and I have very similar parenting styles. My Mom gripes at me constantly because I don't do things the way "she" thinks things should be done. I'm just more relaxed in my parenting I suppose. It doesn't mean I love my children any more or less than any other parent, it just means that it is who I am. Thanks for being so honest :)

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  22. We are so different yet SO similar in so many ways! Loved this post!

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  23. Your parenting style sounds awesome. Were not 100% similar, but close enough! I don't handle sickies well, but besides that we're pretty much on point. Oh, and I'm stupidly obsessed with craft stuff, but I don't do many with my kids ATM cause they're too young and I'm too much of a control freak with that kind of stuff.

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  24. Awesome rockstar post! You are the same woman as me. We parent so similar. I love it. As if that's surprising.

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  25. It's always great to read a blog that hits reality and it's like wow, I thought I'm the only one!
    There's nothing wrong in the way we parent as long as our children feel loved and protected and wanted at the end of the day...

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  26. you and i parent a lot alike. like i could have written this. and it sounds like our girls are pretty similar too. rockstars all around ;)

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  27. We are a lot alike! My parents are here visiting, freaking out because Georgia won't eat at lunch. No two year old has ever starved herself, I keep telling them.

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  29. This is sooo me! Oh man, down to my (lack of) patience for tantrums (which I also hate about myself!)

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  30. i absolutely adore this post. I'm not the same kind of mom but i LOOOOOOVVVEE hearing that there are many different kinds of parents out there and we're all doing the best we can and the best we know how. amazing post.

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