August 6, 2013

It Really Takes A Village

You know that old saying, "it takes a village to raise a child"?  Well it truly does and in this final week of pregnancy numero dos I am realizing how true that is.

Let's face it people, I am not a pleasant pregnant person.  I wasn't the first time around and, dare I say it, it's even worse this time because oh my goodness the toddler stuff.  I don't have the option to sit down and relax when my feet are on fire.  I can't take a nap even though it feels like little magical fairies are pulling at my eyelids, willing them closed.  I cannot relax in a warm bath to sooth my achy back whenever I want to.  My toddler/preschooler demands my attention and she deserves it too.

This week I set out to have a great last week as a family of three.  I was going to say "yes" to more things, turn the TV off, get out of the house, and just truly be happy and present.  Yesterday we were off to a great start.  We returned a few duplicate toys, got some lunch, met some friends to play and Kendall took a glorious nap.  And then came dinner.

She refuses to eat dinner.  She "doesn't like" anything, or so it seems right now.  She didn't want to sit in her chair.  She was just the definition of defiant.  I felt my heart start to pound and was literally sweating when I just got up and excused myself from the table {Jimmy was still sitting with her}.

I went in our bedroom with my new Glamour magazine and flipped through the whole thing before emerging back out to the scene of the crime.  I just needed a mommy time out.

Last night was epic.  In the 6 months that Kendall has been sleeping through the night in panties we've only had three "accidents" at night.  I consider that a win.  Last night was the worst of them all, soaked through the sheet, mattress pad, down to the mattress and when I picked up a HYSTERICAL Kendall she was literally dripping in pee.  Oy.  Top it off when I got into the linen closet to get fresh sheets for her I stepped in a huge puddle of dog pee.  My night was full of pee, ya'll.

This morning I was determined to make it a good one, remember we only have one more week as a family of one child, but yet again things went downhill quickly.  We have to get a new garage door installed tomorrow {$$$}, there is never ending road construction right in front of our house making it miserable to even get out of my driveway, I think the dog has a urinary tract/bladder infection, and I won't even go into the issues that I'm having with my very pregnant body.

Thank God for my mother-in-law.  It's like she could sense my blood pressure rising this morning because just when I thought I was going to literally lose my mind my phone rang and she was offering to keep Kendall for a few hours.  Even winning the lottery wouldn't have felt as good as that phone call this morning.

As much as I want to be the best mom in the world and do it all, the truth is in order to be that mom I need others.  I need my mother-in-law to make that phone call.  I need a time out in my room while Jimmy finishes dinner and takes care of bath one night.

I debated writing and publishing this post because I don't want to seem ungrateful but the truth of the matter is being a mom is hard.  To the women who do it without family nearby and single moms, you guys rock.  Seriously I don't know how you do it and you deserve a medal or a shopping trip or an endless supply of wine because you are doing something I could never do.

18 comments:

  1. A-MEN sister! Being a mom is literally the hardest job that I will ever have. I have to constantly remind myself that despite pictures and words, I am not the only mom on the planet who feels like I never have my shit together.

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  2. Thank you for posting this, every single Mom feels this way, or at least I do, and I have friends who have felt the same way. We all need that time, when I go to my hair appointments I leave and remind them not to call me unless someone is dead or they are on the way to the hospital, otherwise figure it out! I don't think it has anything to do with being ungrateful, and you didn't come off that way. You are a great Mom and feeling the way you did doesn't make you any less amazing!

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  3. There are plenty of times I wish I had family around. I'd love to be able to give my mom a call and take my daughter for awhile. It's rough sometimes!! You're very lucky to have your mother in law.

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  4. This speaks to my life. I had a baby shower two hours away on Saturday and normally I would just send a gift. With two kids, one 3 1/2 and one 3 months, I told my husband that I was going and probably wouldn't be back until after bed time. It was everything I needed to return and like my family.

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  5. Eating is a constant battle lately here, too. Oh, toddlers.

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  6. It sounds like you are a busy woman! I know how you feel about the last few weeks of having just one child. I was there last July and I was thinking of all the stuff that would be harder to do once the baby was here and that we would waste half a summer, and that my Little man wouldn't be an only anymore and that made me hormonal and sad. The good thing is that babies sleep 90% of the time for the first few months, so it was actually easier to do things with a newborn then trying to do them while pregnant. I remember I was 8 months prego and we tried to do the zoo because I was convinced that we had to do it before the baby came because we couldn't do anything with a toddler and a newborn. Boy was I wrong! We didn't get very far. I tried to be a trooper but it was a total waste of a day.

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  7. I understand! The past two nights my husband has given my daughter her bath and put her to bed. I know I only have so many bedtimes with Autumn until the baby gets here but I needed a break! You are so lucky to have your mother-in-law there to help! I don't have anyone during the day that can help so I'm jealous!

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  8. Oh man, that sounds like a rough couple of days! I hope Kendall takes it easy on you these next few days. I can't believe that you only have a week left!!!

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  9. Thank you Shannon for posting this. I'm 12 weeks pregnant with baby #2 and have a very active almost 3 year old boy. I want to loose my shit on the regular because my hormones are just out of control lately. Thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone!!

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  10. I feel ya. It is crazy different this time around. Between work, the toddler, and the pregnancy, I am in full "pick your battles" mode, and food is not one of them. My pediatrician basically said that it's not unusual for tots to only eat a big meal every 1-2 days. Of course, this differs from child to child, but I did start noticing that DD will eat a HUGE lunch and then won't be interested in dinner at all. Or even breakfast the next day. I just give her what we are having plus yogurt and that's it. I was forced to eat when I wasn't hungry as a child and I think it messed me up food-wise for a long time. We do have her sit at the table with us, regardless of if she's eating since it's sort of a social lesson. Sometimes even that's a struggle but at least she can be strapped in her booster. I can't wait to hear how things go when James gets here. I feel like your daughter and mine have similar personalities. thanks for keeping it real too. I struggle because I don't want to sound like I am not thankful for this second baby, but the reality is that it is difficult!

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  11. Thank you for posting. I feel the same way. You are super mom. All super moms need help every now and then.

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  12. That..is a lot of pee. I feel you. I just spent an overnight with my niece and nephew (3 & 5) and there were times I just had to walk away because they were trying my patience so badly. Basically, it's okay to admit that it's hard. It's not sunshine & rainbows 24/7. You just try again the next day. Here's to a hopefully pee-less day!

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  13. This post is honest and so true! Being a Mom is so hard and there are times I literally go running out the door when the Hubby gets home bc I am so frustrated. Eating is also a constant battle here too ugh!!! Hoping your week gets better!

    Kathryn

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  14. I feel your pain! I hate saying I want/need a break from the boys but boy, some days I do! Hang in there, it's almost over!!!

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  15. I love that you are keeping it real. I'm not a mom but I can imagine how hard it is from taking care of my nieces. I'm always happy to give them back and have my alone time again. I hope your last few days alone w/ K can go well and you can make some fun memories but don't put too much pressure on yourself. YOu are very pregnant and that in itself is enough! :)

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  16. You are keeping it real and that does not make you ungrateful. This toddler shit is hard, hard stuff. Certainly much harder than I ever imagined. You do the best you can and when you reach that point where you feel like you're one step away from needing to be institutionalized (that's not just me, right??)it's okay to accept help. Being alone out here with a traveling husband, zero family, pregnant, with a 2 year old, has made me realize how foolish I was when I had Elena back home and refused to ask for help. What I wouldn't give to get a reprieve now!!! Paul is finally understanding why him tackling bath on the nights he's home is like winning the lottery for me! Hang in there, girl! Wine is in your future!!!!

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  17. I can totally relate! I definitely had nights where my toddler threw up ON my 9-months pregnant belly, and then I go to clean up and step in dog vomit as well. But I agree with what Jennifer said, it is the biggest relief that newborns sleep all the time. You won't have the huge belly impeding your movement, plus you will have more energy. It's remarkably easy to do stuff while toting a newborn around. One more week of this, then it'll be relatively smooth sailing for a while!

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  18. Girl I can't even imagine having a toddler and being pregnant! Hang in there!

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