September 17, 2013

Boy Mom

When I found out I was pregnant with Kendall I knew I wanted a girl.  I'm a girly girl and of course I was having a girl.  I knew it.  I mean I didn't know it but I couldn't have imagined that ultrasound tech telling me anything but "it's a girl!".

I didn't know a thing about boys. As an only child the only boy I was ever exposed to was my dad and well he had a daughter so he adapted to girly things too.  I didn't want anything to do with having a boy, I don't know to play with trucks or get dirty!  Obviously I would have been happy because we all know a happy, healthy baby is all that really matters buttttttttttt, I wanted a girl.

As you know Kendall was {and still is} a girl and I was thrilled.  I was going to get to relive my childhood, play with some of the same toys I loved as a girl, dress up my real life baby doll, braid each others hair, watch girly movies, go shopping and and and all the things girls do with their moms.  I couldn't wait.

Obviously I love being a girl mom.  I mean nothing is better than watching Kendall dance and sing and dress up and be a total girl.  She's the definition of a girl with a whole lotta sass and a side of adventure, she's really quite a diverse child. One minute she's playing in my makeup and the next she's outside "camping" with Jimmy.  I love that she is pretty much up for anything and I admire that quality in her. I wish I was more like that.

When we found out James was a boy I was way more open to the idea of being a boy mom. I actually remember one night laying in bed and texting Jimmy {he was on 3rd shift} and saying, "I'm so glad we're having a boy!" And throughout my whole pregnancy I just felt "different" knowing we were having a boy.

I had so many people tell me, "oh you are going to love having a boy!", "boys love their mamas!" and I didn't really know what they meant but I figured it was one of those you'll know it when you know it kind of things.
And boy was I right {as usual ;-)}.

Having baby James around is like...nothing else.  I cannot even begin to describe the way I feel about him. Obsessed just might be the best word.  He's just so snuggly and loveable and the minute his head hits my chest he falls fast asleep.  He makes me feel all warm inside and I just love his guts.

Maybe I am forgetting how I felt when I had Kendall or maybe I was so caught up in the new mom thing but I don't really remember this overwhelming feeling when she was born.  I know I held her just as much {actually I held her more}, and I know she was sweet and snuggly and she was way more smiley {James is a very serious baby} and she makes my heart burst with pride each and every day, but I just don't remember this feeling.  That makes me sad and feel super guilty for even admitting.

It's just different.
So I guess it's true, what everyone told me about having a boy.  One person even said that only a mom of both genders can understand and I totally believe that.  I don't love one more than the other and while my love for each of them is different they are still equal. Does that make sense?

Any other boy and girl moms know what I'm talking about?  It's hard to put into words because there isn't one word that fits the feeling but certainly I'm not alone.  Am I right?


18 comments:

  1. I have NO idea what you're talking about since God blessed me with three boys but I LOVE being a boy mom. They are sweet, snuggly (even still at 5), dirty, destructive, loud, obnoxious little people and I LOVE it.

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  2. I only have a boy. A dirty, smelly, gross and disgusting boy. But it the best thing in the entire world because as "boy" as he is, he's still so sweet and lovable and my little man. Although at 10, he's not so little anymore!

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  3. YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! My best friend from grade school has a 4 year old girl and 1 year old boy (the same distance apart as my kids) and told me there is just something so special about the bond between a boy and his mama. I've actually asked my husband "did I do this with Rowan!?!" because I'm in his face laughing/cooing/snuggling him constantly. (He said I did but I think the stress of that time in my life I totally forgot it.)

    My heart literally melts into a pool of mush though when he cries at bedtime if someone else tries to feed him or he is watching me walk around the room and starts to whimper when I leave - like literally I am already getting pissed at my future daughter in law for taking him away from me lol.

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  4. cometely agree! I had a daughter first and then my little guy! you love them equal but yet different !

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  5. Totally, totally agree… I was the exact same as you and admittedly slightly disappointed when I found out Ky was a boy (sorry buddy! Still love you lots). It IS hard to explain but I just KNOW the way he it says "mommy" and the way he says "I love you" and the way you hugs me are and will always be different from Ariana. I was over the moon when we found out baby #2 was a girl and my love for her is also different... Yet the same amount. It's a sweeter, more gentler love that again is hard to explain!! But I thank my stars every day to have one of each and I think we are in a very special, lucky boat that we get to experience both these avenues of life with a son and daughter.

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  6. Yes, it is TOTALLY different! And while I desperately wanted another boy when we were expecting our second child, I am so thankful that God is the one in control because our daughter has been a tremendous blessing to our family and has changed the dynamic in many ways. She is so full of spunk and laughter! I do love them both deeply and completely, but differently at the same time! And....#3 was due yesterday, so now we will have TWO girls! And our son fits the oldest child position very well! ;)

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  7. We will find out in 4 weeks if I will understand what you are talking about. I still thinking the twins are both boys but we will see! I definitely relate to the obsessed thing. But it gets better. I obviously don't have a girl but the hugs and the kisses and when my boy calls me mama. There's nothing better. I think there might be something to them being a lot like their daddy too.

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  8. I obviously don't get this...yet, anyway. I think it's one of those things that feels slightly off-putting (not YOU) but when others say it to me, like, "oh you NEED a boy". But even my mom says it's different. Not different as in better, just different. Maybe one day I'll find out, maybe not, either way is fine with me :) Love that you have a snuggly one, though!

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  9. I don't really think it has anything to do with him being a boy, and everything to do with him being your second.

    Granted, my first was a girl, and my second was a boy. But how I felt with him had nothing to do with his gender. It was because he was my second. Everything was different. I knew what I was doing, I understood how to savor the moments. I didn't have that first time mom anxiety. At first I thought he was different from the beginning in some ways because of his gender. Until I had the third kid. And then the fourth.

    And I realized how I felt/interacted/parented/etcetcetc wasn't about girl/boy at ALL, but instead about birth order.

    It's just like saying I love Liv more because she's special needs. I don't, actually. I just love her differently because she's a different kid. Just like I love and relate to each of my other kids in completely different ways because they're completely different people.

    It's the cool thing about parenthood. We can love with our entire being, completely differently.

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  10. I could have written this post! My 1st was a girl and my second a boy. And while I love them very much equally, there's just this different bond with the boy. It's pretty awesome :)

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  11. I have heard this so many times. I will be curious if I ever experience the "boy" mom thing how I feel. I agree with Katie (above) though. It is a little off putting when random people tell me how boys love their mommies and girls love their daddies. While my girl loves her daddy, she is ALL Mommy's girl. Currently being a mom to my girl is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to me. The amount of love a mother has for her child is unbelievable. Boy or girl I am sure I would go to the ends of the earth for one of her kisses and "I wub yous!"

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  12. Oh I totally get it. My second is a boy and that love is very different at first. I think it's because you know what they will grow into and how much your love will grow. where with the first you just dont really know what's coming and you don't realize that you will love that baby more and more the older they get.

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  13. OMG- can your kiddos get any cuter? I can't speak from the girl point of view but I agreed with everything you said about boys and their momma's.

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  14. Thank you for this post Shannon - as a mom of just one, I have been thinking about this a lot lately... I keep wondering how it is possible to love two children the same, not have a favorite, and how to love different sexes differently but the same too? It is quite daunting but your post has eased it for me.

    When I was pregnant, I had always dreamed of having a boy, I thought I was definitely more of a boy mom and I was convinced I was having a boy until our little princess arrived (we didn't find out the sex) and now I am struggling to imagine being a mom of a boy. I'm hoping ti does happen one day and if or when it does, I will make the transition so easily like you have!
    x

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  15. You are right. I wanted a girl so badly the first time and I'm glad I got her but I love my little boy. It really is different and unexplainable!

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