I overheard someone say, since the couple already lived together, "It's no big deal, you'll wake up tomorrow and feel the same way as you did when you woke up yesterday." Jimmy and I lived together before we were married and so, at first, I was inclined to agree. I knew what that person meant, when you live together before you're married it kinda takes away the excitement, if you will. You already know the person's habits, how they like their coffee, how long they take in the shower, what they do to decompress, etc. There are no surprises when he carries you through the threshold as a newly married couple.
I started to agree and then later that night I found myself thinking about it a little deeper. Four days later, I don't agree, not even a little.
After Jimmy and I were married I felt totally different. I felt this new sense of pride, as his wife. Call me old-fashioned but when I took his name it was a big deal. I remember a friend asking if I was keeping my name or taking his and without a blink of an eye I said, "HIS! Of course!". I couldn't wait to be a Dew but I also knew that in taking his last name meant I had big shoes to fill and I was happy to do so. He's made me very proud to be his wife over the past four years and I can only hope that he feels just as proud calling me his wife.
I also felt a responsibility with my new wife status. I felt like this is the real deal and no matter what, we are in this thing called life together, forever. Sure I felt like that in the months leading up to our wedding but after that day it was different. I meant what I said in my vows and I plan to take them seriously. There's something about saying the same words that our parents and grandparents said before us that is so special to me. I knew that from that moment on nothing would come between us, nothing would be too big for us to handle together.
Once you take that husband/wife there's no turning back, at least not for us. That title means more than girlfriend/boyfriend or even fiance. Before the vows there is always the option of leaving, if you want. For us that is not the case with marriage. For better for worse, sickness and health, till death do us part. No matter what.
I remember coming home from our honeymoon and returning to work and even that felt different, as a married woman. It was like I had just joined this super, cool, married woman's club. It's a pretty elite club and not everyone can hack it and I felt elated to know that I would be a life-long member.
From October 3, 2009 on I have felt different.
Did you feel different after you were married or do you agree that saying "I Do" doesn't really change anything?