November 19, 2013

They Need Us



Jimmy came home from work early yesterday, he's been coming home early a lot lately.  It's nice to have the extra family time but it's been hurting our budget {or lack thereof} for about a month now.  We are stressed, thinking about the upcoming holiday season is making me feel twitchy rather than cheery.  Instead of wondering about what awesome toys "Santa" will bring Kendall or what we could possibly do to make James's first Christmas special we are picking and choosing what bills to pay and which ones can wait.  On top of it all I woke up to a freezing cold house which means we may need a new furnace.  Perfect timing.

But, as I sit here, wrapped in a blanket warmed by the heat of a fire and a nice warm mug of coffee, I am oddly at peace.

It's weird really.

But it dawned on me, my children don't need all of that "stuff" they need me.

Our house is nice but it's not big or fancy or even Pinterest-worthy but it's our house and we've made it our home.  Kendall doesn't care that the throw pillow she's laying on has a rip in it and needs sewn. She doesn't know that the bed she's sleeping on was her dad's, back in the day.  James's bedroom furniture was my furniture when I was a little girl and guess what?  He has no idea.  The majority of James's clothes are hand-me-downs with a few new "pieces" here and there.  Kendall has a dresser full of cute clothes yet she'd rather wear a pair of leggings and a $6 My Little Pony tee.  And you know what I realize, right now? They don't need fancy stuff.

I think about going back to work sometimes because then we'd be able to afford things like gym memberships and swim lessons but then I think about my babies.  Do my babies care about those things? Would they rather spend all day at a daycare or with a nanny?  Heck no.  They want to be with me, in this house.  So I will do whatever it takes to keep things that way, for them.

As much as I'd like to shop like I used to, drive my old car, enroll Kendall in dance class, or have bigger/better house I want to be with them more.  And being with them means tightening our budget and doing what we need to to make sure that things stay this way.

I know that things will work out, they always do, but that doesn't mean that they aren't hard in the interim.  I just know that these people are worth it



25 comments:

  1. Beautifully said.

    We're in the same situation except reversed. I work and my hubby stays home with our 12 month old & 7 week old. Sometimes I wished he'd work so we'd be "better off", but then I realize...not only would we be spending my whole paycheck on daycare, but you can't get these days (of your kids' childhood) and the time they're getting ALL day in OUR home with THEIR DAD...is priceless!

    This too shall pass.

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  2. I'm so glad we aren't alone. I have a post {almost identical} to this one sitting in my drafts, I just haven't gotten the courage to hit publish yet. It's really hard to struggle when so many of our friends are flourishing. Such is life a guess. :/ Hang in there mama...someday we're going to look back and laugh at this phase {right?!}

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  3. Speaking to my heart mama. Thank you for sharing, a million times over. I've really had to re-evaluate what to do for the holidays. My husband and I both work and are still struggling but I am thankful for all that we do have. You said it so perfectly.

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  4. I love this. The struggle this holiday season is real. With all the bills that piled up in the divorce, I'm sitting here thinking how do I buy buy buy to make this a great Christmas. I've had to really take a step back and realize, we have our NEEDS met, and maybe she doesn't need the $110 doll. Maybe she will be just as happy with a $15 CD, or a coupon for a home spa day with mommy. I wish I could be home and spend more time with her, but I know I'm doing the best I can with what I've got. Your posts have been SPOT on lately girl. Miss your face though. We need a get together with the ladies soon!

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  5. Thank you! Always at the holidays I doubt my decision to stay home when I could be making money for the family. You're so right and I needed to hear this today. Thank you!

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  6. I totally think that you're doing the right thing! They live you more than you know!!

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  7. AMEN SISTER. You are so right.

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  8. I grew up quite poor and in all honesty I can't remember what I did or didn't get for Christmas or Birthdays through the years. What I do remember is days out to the park, summer evenings when dad came home, we would go to the beach for a few hrs (Scottish weather permitting!) And in the winter building snow men and sledging. Mum and Dad both had to work just to make ends meet but they always made time to spend with us which is the best present any parent can give their child. I have to keep reminding myself of this as due to various reasons we are still in our crappy flat and can't afford a house. My 16 month old doesn't care and I know this but I still worry I am depriving her off something!

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  9. Amen! Yes they are worth it! and it will get better! xoxo

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  10. You've probably already heard of Dave Ramsey and the total money makeover but if not here's a link to his website with free tools to help get you out of debt and to win with money. http://www.daveramsey.com/category/get-started/

    I'm a single mother of 2 making less than $30,000 a year and I have Christmas bought and paid for already all due to the budgeting tools and following the total money makeover. (the book is on sale right now for $10 on his website) This has changed my life, my future, my legacy and how I view money. I have savings now and I'm paying down my debt slowly but surely. I wish I could stay home with my kids like you, with that said I love your attitude about this whole situation you have a grateful heart and I think your the epitome of a great mother. Rock on girl, Rock on!

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  11. You always post things I need to hear! :)

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  12. You've been a SAHM longer than I and I can't tell you how much your words of wisdom have helped me over the last year. Regardless of the number listed on your bank account summary, there is no doubt in my mind that you, Jimmy and the babes will have the very best Christmas this year - good things always come to good people. It just might cost a little less than usual ;)

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  13. You're exactly right! I struggle so hard with trying to make a career for myself or wondering if I could figure out a way to stay home. I don't know what our answer is, but the closer it comes to him being here, the more I can't imagine being away from him!

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  14. I needed this post today. Thank you!

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  15. This is the perfect time for this post. While unfortunately I am not a SAHM, I work, the cost of being furloughed TWICE this year has hit us hard in the last few weeks - right before Christmas. You are right, my baby doesnt need EVERYTHING. She has everything she needs, a mommy and daddy who love her more than she will ever know - plus ya know food, shelter and clothing! May the Christmas season this year be about family friends and cheer and not about spending tons of money.

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  16. Thank you for writing this post, I am paralyzed with fear right now of the unknown...we are PCSing (moving) to a new state halfway across the country in the next month and I wont have a job and we depend on my income also...Im terrified because the daycare on post has a nine month waiting list...what are we going to do...ect...so it's refreshing to know Im not the only one :) Thank you!

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  17. I love your post. We have thought of the same things since I have been staying home and have come to the same decision that we will do what is needed for our boys and right now staying home is what that is. Could it possible change in the future yes but for now it works and they love having me here if I have to cut some things out of my budget then so be it.

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  18. amen.
    i think isaiah needs to read this. is that ok?
    sometimes we give up so much to be SAHM's - but we really are gaining that much more by doing so. i am so so happy to be home with crue. and once upon a child is our favorite store!
    i hope you dont need a new furnace. unexpected $ suckers are THE WORST debby downers. our altima is a money pit and i am dying to get rid of that sucker, but buying a new car is just so hard sometimes. le sigh.
    youre lovely. i love this post.
    xxo

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  19. I feel for you -- that inner struggle of 'do I work' or 'do I stay home and figure out how to manage' is a tough one. I think of the college savings and retirement funds I could be putting money in if I worked, or the awesome vacation I could be taking the boys on, or whatever the newest and best 'thing' are that I could be buying my boys. Being a grownup is super tough sometimes. I'll keep my fingers crossed that your husband picks up more hours and that you won't have to worry anymore.

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  20. We are Suze Orman obsessed. I give her all the credit for why I don't even go into Nordstrom any more. She always says people first. Meaning you and Jimmy and your babies. I hate to think about you stressing about bills. Our kids know when we are stressed. Our marriage suffers when we are stressed. I'll pray that things work out. Suze says then money. That 8 month emergency fund that helps you sleep at night is more important than any toy or clothes you buy. I totally agree with you that your kids need and want you. Not things. The holidays are about family and Jesus. Focus on that. Make homemade gifts. You know the grandparents love that stuff more than anything else!

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  21. Beautifully stated...you always inspire me Shannon Dew <3

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  22. How did I miss your family pictures. This new job of mine has be behind on my blogs. Love the colors and everything. This post hits home in a different aspect. I took a new job with a big pay cut but closer to home. We are struggling to get use to it and cut our budget but the one thing we know is that the boys don't need anything extravagant to show we love them. They just need to be told. They aren't going to care what their gifts are or how much they cost as long as there is just something under the tree.

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  23. Aw, so glad you are able to stay at home!

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