April 24, 2015

Girl Mom vs Boy Mom

Lately I've noticed this weird "trend" that puts yet another label on parents.  Because, you know, we need that these days.

It's shown up in numerous ways on my FB feed in the form of sponsored posts, advertisements, and blog posts. It's not something I ever even thought was a "thing" until recently when, within 24 hours of each other, friends of mine posted similar articles in support of the exact opposite "argument" {for lack of a better word}.

Why am I using all of these "quotations"?  Because I can't believe I'm even talking about such a thing, to be honest with you.

I'm talking about boy moms vs girl moms.

This week I've read articles titled "To the Mother of All Boys" and "The Great List of Things I Can't Do Because I Only Have Daughters".  The second one was actually humorous because it proves the exact same point I'm trying to make.

WHY?

Why have we given ourselves yet another label of being a certain gendered mom?  As if being a stay-at-home, breastfeeding, disposable diaper using, homemade baby food making, co-sleeper, baby-wearing, organic, home-schooled, helicopter parent wasn't enough?  Now we have to go throwing the gender of our kids in there too?

WHY?

Because if you are a mom to all boys you certainly have it harder than a mom to all girls?  Or because you're a mom to all girls you're going to have all that extra expense when it comes to parties, graduations, weddings and whatnots?  And because of any/all of these things you feel as if the other party should show you more respect?

What about just calling ourselves MOMS.

Hey, that's a novel idea.

Last time I checked we were all in this messy, crazy, oh so rewarding roller coaster we call parenting together.  We all wipe poopie butts.  We all stay up with sick babies.  We all kiss boo-boos better.  We all get interrupted when we pee.  We all wish we had more time in the day.  We all make the best decisions we can for our kids and our families.  And damnit we are all doing the best we can.

Maybe it's because I'm a boy/girl mom and I don't fit into either category and so I'm feeling left out.  Yeah, maybe that's it.  But by golly I don't need another label plastered on me and I don't want one.  Since I feel like I've experienced both and I can tell you that my kids are the complete opposite of each other I get that there are differences between boys and girls.  That is obvious.  What I don't get is why it matters.

I don't think of my girlfriend who has three little girls and thing anything differently than my girlfriend who is the mom to three little boys.  To me they are each moms to three kids.  Period.  Sure the one has a little more pink toys and the other deals with a little more dirt but each one has the same struggles as the other.  They are both trying to raise three crazy kids in this messy world we live in.

That is it.

We are all moms.  Let's just start saying that for a change.  No extra labels required.


7 comments:

  1. AMEN! what's funny is I see this more and more too! I am a (soon to be) mom of 3 girls... 2 is hard I am a little worried about adding a 3rd to the mix (but that's kids in general, I don't care the gender). What I think is really amusing is that all my friends and family that have 2 or 3 boys seem to think I have is WAY easier because I have girls... YA RIGHT! It's all hard, no matter what. Just because some struggles may be different, doesn't make them any less difficult one way or the other. And the only thing I think regarding gender is "thankfully I have girls because little boys are actually pretty gross!" LOL! (although my daughter does pick her nose, that's about the grossest thing she does...)

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  2. As a mom of all boys I have to say we might do this because there is a part of us that really wants to experience the opposite sex child and we can't. We don't want to feel like we are lacking anything. We want to feel like our one gender household has a lot to offer us as well. I don't mean this in a bad way at all, but I don't think those with both gender can totally understand that.

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  3. Agreed! And I don't think it's annoying because you have a boy & a girl... I have 2 girls & I would never call myself a girl mom. I hate the labels too, but maybe people use it to align themselves with people in similar experiences... I don't know, that's the only thing that makes sense.

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  4. Agreed! And I don't think it's annoying because you have a boy & a girl... I have 2 girls & I would never call myself a girl mom. I hate the labels too, but maybe people use it to align themselves with people in similar experiences... I don't know, that's the only thing that makes sense.

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  5. I love this! It's so true! Someone once said in a conversation that they would NEVER want to have a girl! As a mom of two girls, I was a little miffed. I never considered myself a "girl" mom, I am just a mom. I understand that there are differences between boys and girls but at the end of the day, we have way more similarities as parents than differences. Thank you for the thoughtful post! Amen!

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  6. You nailed it on the head. I've never understood why it matters one way or the other.

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  7. You make a really good point, we are mom first and foremost. I have three boys and I always wonder what it would be like to have a daughter. I am sure those moms put a label on themselves because deep down they wished they could experience both worlds but they have no control over that. Not to be offensive but until you've been in that position, it's hard to understand.

    I never cared about the sex of any of my children until I found myself with three boys and to be honest, if we have a fourth, that is all I am thinking about. I couldn't expect someone who is not in that position to understand

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