August 27, 2015

'Twas The Night Before "Kindergartey"

I put my girl to bed for the last time as a pre-k kid.

Tomorrow she starts "kindergartey" and tomorrow starts a whole new chapter of life for us.  For the record, I hope she never stops calling it "kindergartey" because it's the cutest, sweetest, most innocent thing ever.  I know it won't be long and she'll  be saying "kindergarten" so for now I'm not correcting her.

This summer has been one for the record books and will be hard to top.  We've been camping, zip-lining, swimming, to the beach, vacationed with friends, rode four-wheelers, hit up splash pads, took a family vacation, gone boating, played at the park, made s'mores, played with friends, ate way too much ice cream and stayed up late on more than one occasion.  It's been a blast and while it's been busy and we haven't had much at-home time, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Now we will return to life of regularly scheduled baths and early bedtimes.  We will no longer have ice cream for dinner or watch "one more show".  Our laid-back mornings will be traded for packing lunches and "hurry up and eat your breakfast, we have to leave soon"!  Our kitchen table will soon be used for doing homework more than playing with Play-Doh.

As cliche as it sounds, I really don't know how we've gotten to this point already.  As a matter of fact, a year ago I didn't even know if we would be sending her off to kindergarten.  After praying and weighing the pros and cons and talking to her preschool teachers and other moms in the same boat, we decided this is what is best for her and this is what will make her thrive.  She's ready.

After attending two parent meetings at the elementary school I finally feel confident in our decision.  When they talk about the expectations they have for the kids in kindergarten I know she will have no problem.  Most of the goals they have set for them are things that she already learned in preschool.  The one thing I'm most excited for, and she's excited about, is reading.  We've tried working on reading a little bit this summer and she wants to read so badly.  I know with her teachers help and guidance she'll be reading in no time.

She's ready but am I?

It really doesn't matter if I am or not.  This is not about me.  I am here for her and I will put on a brave face for her no matter how badly I want to sob, big, fat, ugly tears when she walks into that class room.  Even the image in my head makes me want to ball my eyes out.  All that matters to me is that she feels safe, secure, happy and confident in her classroom this year.

She's got the best kindergarten teacher in the school, from what I understand.  We met her Monday night and afterward I said, "so how are you feeling about kindergartey {I'm saying it too} now?" and she said, "a little nervous BUT I get my own locket {locker}!!!"  Well...OK baby girl!  If that's what makes you look forward to the first day then YES!  Lockers!!!  But, really, I feel so good knowing she's in good hands, with a teacher who is passionate about what she does and genuinely cares about her students.

At the end of the day I just have to throw all of my fear away and put it in the hands of God.  I pray about it nightly.  I pray that the Lord surround her with teachers and students who will point her towards God.  I pray for her safety.  I pray that she loves others and befriends all those she encounters.  I pray that she have an open heart and mind.  I pray for the knowledge of her teachers and admins and hope that they teach, lead, and act in a way in which glorifies God.  I pray that she have courage and be kind.  I pray that she stays focused and thrives this year.  At the end of the day, I just pray.

The night the picture on the left was taken she was about 3-4 days old.  I remember snuggling with her on our couch and Jimmy said to me, "next thing you know she'll be starting kindergarten".  And I bawled my post-pregnancy hormone eyes out because, "STOP! That is so far away!!!!"  And look, here we are.   It's not that far away at all because that picture on the left, it was just taken, I swear it was.  And yet there she is, looking too grown in her soccer gear, five short years later.

This year is going to be full of adjustments, learning, balancing and hopefully lots of fun thrown in there too.  I know it's going to be a roller coaster and there will be good days and bad.  I am excited, nervous, happy, scared, anxious and everything in between.  And I get to do it all over again in 2-3 more years.  Hashtag: motherhood.

1 comment:

  1. She is becoming quit the little lady. She will love "Kindergarty" and so will you. Sending hugs to you to help you get through the emotions of having to loosen those apron strings. I would love to say it gets easier but as they grow, and you have to give up a little more, it becomes harder... or at least for me. Just know you have many momma friends that are in your shoes and are hear to listen.