Life After I "Dew"

I will turn thirty-three this month, on the 28th to be exact. No, I'm not a leap year baby {I always get asked}.

Each year I dread getting older.  My biggest fear is dying and the older I get the more that becomes a reality {even though I know we can die any day/anytime/anyway}.  I also know I am far from being "old" and that death from old age is very, very far away.  Growing older is just bittersweet, I guess.  This year, however, I am choosing to be thankful for the opportunity to live another year in this life.  I am grateful to be alive and almost thirty-three.

I feel nothing but happiness about turning another year older {for now}. My thirties have by far proved to be the best era of life {so far}.  I don't feel old, most days. I don't lie about my age.  I don't wish I were still in my twenties. I remember I used to always read magazine articles that talked about women in their thirties and how it was the best they ever felt.  Now I totally get that because I feel the same way.

My teen years, like most, were awkward. I wore JNCO jeans, Billabong tee shirts, had a short "boy" hair cut {they weren't called pixies back then} parted down the middle,and I wanted nothing more than to get my tongue pierced {thank you, Mom & Dad for not letting me}.  Thankfully {after an awful old lady hair cut} I picked a more acceptable appearance by the time senior pictures were taken but man...the road to that point was ugly.  I wasn't active, I didn't play any sports, I wasn't involved in any clubs.  I didn't do anything that my friends didn't do.  I definitely didn't do anything to stand out and was kind of a go-with-the-crowd type.  I wouldn't say I was confident but I also didn't hate myself either.  It was just a weird, figuring out who I was, period in life.


My twenties were a roller coaster. I had some really great times but also some really dark times too.  I spent a lot of my time waiting for "what's next".  I couldn't wait to get married and have babies, I wanted that so bad that I feel like I missed out on a lot.  I started out my twenties celebrating my 21st in Vegas with my girlfriends, went to Chicago for the first time, graduated college, and got my first apartment.  Then my mid-twenties got a little dicey thanks to an awful, awful relationship.  Then they got amazing again because I met Jimmy, fell in love, got married and had Kendall by the time I was twenty seven.  I got everything I wanted.


My thirties have been amazing.  I feel more confident than I ever did in my teens and/or twenties.  I'm in the best shape of my life, even after two kids.  I don't question myself or my decisions.  I feel strong and happy.  I like the person I am.  I really started to feel that way about two years ago, so thank you thirties!  I have two beautiful, thriving kids. My marriage is solid.  I fee like I've found my groove and my purpose in life. I know what I want, I know what I like, and most importantly I know who I am.


So, yes, this getting older business is not bad at all.  In fact, I like to think I'm like a fine wine and get better with age, right?!  I kid, I kid.  I think being a mom {something I always wanted} has made me the person I am today.  Because of my kids I am pushed outside of my comfort zone.  I try things I probably wouldn't have otherwise.  I am forced to make decisions and stand by them to show my kids that once we put our mind to something we follow through with it.  They've definitely helped change me for the better and for that I'll forever be grateful.