Life After I "Dew"

Patience is not my strong suit.  You may remember my 31 days of patience series I did two years ago in hopes of becoming a more patient wife/mother.  I'd love to say that I learned lessons during that month that lasted me a lifetime but sadly I slipped back into my old ways.  Yesterday, specifically,  I let my lack of patience get the best of me and it came out in the form of screaming at my kids to the point, I'm sure, I looked like the exorcist, minus the head spinning.

I woke up with a great attitude.  I woke up early {6am} and thought about going back to sleep since everyone else was still snoozing peacefully but instead opted to get some coffee and some yoga in before the day started.  Sounded like a great idea but maybe that was my first mistake, maybe I should have just gone back to sleep {ha!}.  I wasn't quite done with my practice when Kendall got up and then from that moment on it just seemed like everything went down hill.  To the point Jimmy even said, "man, we are really being tested today".  And we were.

I told Jimmy, "I need Jesus today" and I knew whether I went alone and he stayed home with the crazy kids or we all went as a family, I was going to church.  We made it {barely on time} and that's when God took over...

I really felt my faith grow this past year and I am so thankful for our church and the community within.  I've participated in three bible studies within the year as well as started my own devotional at home.  The last year, 2015, was a hard one in a number of ways but I felt God stronger than ever through it it all and that was amazing.  I went through a period, during my teens and early twenties, where I didn't really believe in God.  I had no relationship with him, didn't belong to a church and it was so hard for me to even grasp the concept of faith because it wasn't tangible.  I didn't have concrete evidence, I couldn't see Him and therefore I just chose not to believe.

When I met Jimmy I attended a church service with his family and I felt all the emotions.  I cried.  I had never been to a church where I felt so "normal" and things made sense and were *gasp* relate-able.  I had never felt that way in a church and it felt amazing.  That church wasn't in a good location for us to attend on a weekly basis but I knew what I wanted in our home church.

I've been thinking of getting baptized for months. My family was catholic and I was baptized catholic when I was only a couple of months old.  I don't remember it.  It meant nothing to me {at the time}.  I didn't understand what was happening to me.  Now that I am an adult and I have built a relationship with God and I am {hopefully} raising my kids to have strong faith, pray, and believe I figured it was time to make the next move in my relationship.

I've been talking about getting baptized but for some reason I can never bring myself to sign up when our church has them.  The last time we had baptisms I said to myself, "the next time there's a sign up I'm going to do it".  Yesterday, amidst the chaos of the morning, I noticed that there was a baptism sign-up and that the actual baptism would be happening on Feb. 28.  My 33rd birthday.

If that's not a God moment, I don't know what is.  I immediately started praying.  I told God that I heard Him loud and clear and that I would obey.  I know He was speaking to me and I know that He knew I needed that right then and there.  That's the reason I never signed up before.  It wasn't the right time but now is.  This was a lesson in patience and I didn't even know it.  He was telling me to be patient and He would let me know when it was the right time.  I thought it was just be being lazy and scared but it was really a teaching moment, one that I needed.

I'm excited and nervous about this next step in my relationship with God.  I am excited to watch my faith grow deeper but I am nervous because I don't want to let Him down.   I know this is going to change everything and I am ready for it to.