Life After I "Dew"

Seven years ago we said, "I Do".

Seven years.  One house.  Two kids.  Three dogs.  Four career changes.  Five cars.  Numerous holidays, parties and celebrations.  Countless laughs and just as many memories.  Seven of the best years of my life but also some of the hardest.  Having my best friend by my side through all of life's big moments make them that much sweeter and that much easier to endure.  

I've always heard year seven referred to as "the seven year itch" and honestly I didn't know why until I Googled it when writing this. Are we destined for "the seven year itch"?  I had to look it up. 

"Chronologically, the seventh year typically represents the presence of young children in the home. Around this time of family life, demands are high and resources are limited. The couple is trying to navigate who takes care of a sick kid, how to make ends meet on a tight budget, and how to succeed at work when your spouse and kids need you at home. Both husband and wife feel exhausted, overworked, and underappreciated. Whether they say it out loud or not, they both wonder, “What about my life? What happened to my dreams? I feel like I woke up in someone else’s life.”

Because time, energy, and money are short, a couple in this stage of marriage rarely has a chance to enjoy each other. When they laugh together, it’s probably because one of the kids said something funny. They’ve become “mom and dad” and forgotten how to be “husband and wife.” Great sex might happen once a year. Realistically, you’re never both “in the mood” at the same time, which also happens to be when the children are quiet and don’t need you. Advice like, “Go on a date night once a week” sounds good but seems impossible to implement." 

WOW!  Yep, I think that about sums it up.  Little kids, check.  Limited resources/funds, check.  Even more limited date nights, check.  Exhausted, check  Overworked {Jimmy}, check.  Underappreciated, check.  Making ends meet, check.  Check, check, check.  

The phrase, "the seven year itch", carries a negative connotation.  It implies turmoil, rocky roads, distance, and maybe even divorce.  While I do believe that those things can be true of year seven, after reading the definition above you could say we've hit "the seven year itch" except I feel like this is not necessarily a bad thing.

All of those "troubles" have been blips on the radar when I look at the big picture of our life.  Some way bigger blips, more like blobs, than others.  Yes having little kids is stressful and draining.  It is hard to see your spouse as the young, vibrant,fun person you married.  Date nights are few and far between.  A very tight budget makes it impossible to get away for a much needed husband/wife vacation.  Jimmy works long hours/days and sometimes works a second job as needed which leaves him feeling overworked and tired and means he isn't home much.  We don't get to enjoy each other as much as we'd like.  All of this is true.

Going through all of these things doesn't mean our marriage is destined for failure though.  It doesn't mean one of us is "itching" to get out.  It means that we've had some rough patches, some hard times and we're going to continue to go through these things because life is not all puppy dogs and rainbows.  I know, without a shadow of doubt, that these problems have actually brought us closer together, even if neither of us want to admit that.  Going through the hardest times and having your best friend by your side in your worst moments is love.

One of the things I love most about our marriage is that we balance each other out quite nicely. When one of us is stressed to the max the other is calm and reassuring that everything is going to be alright.  Where I am more neurotic and uptight, Jimmy is more carefree and easy-going.  We both seem to know what the other needs and are more than willing to bend a little even if it means putting our own wants/needs aside or a while.

Year seven is going to be full of ups and downs, that I am sure of because that is life.  I know just when we think, "it can't get any worse" it will.  I know that we are going to have times when we think, "this is it, this is the best and it will never be better than right here, right now".  I also know that I am more in love with my husband than ever before.  He works hard for our family.  He provides us with more than we need.  He loves us to the depths of his being  He still knows how to make me laugh.  He is handsome as heck and he still makes me feel like marrying me was the best decision he ever made.

Our life is not perfect and it's not always pretty.  When we said our vows, however, we said "for better or worse" not "till the seven year itch kicks in".  I wouldn't trade our "troubles" for anyone else's because I don't want to give up our blessings.  At the end of the day, we are blessed.  As long as I've got Jimmy by my side I know everything is going to be alright.  I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend.