Life After I "Dew"

I wish I could say that the third pregnancy goes by in the blink of an eye but for me that hasn't been true.   Not for me.  Not thus far.  I think because we found out so early {9DPO} and because I'm used to my babies being born in August, it feels like I should be reaching the end but I'm only to the halfway mark.  I have a feeling the next 19 weeks will go fast with school starting, soccer and Girl Scout schedules, doctors appointments and all the fall activities but, for now, I feel like we're just barely trucking along.

I've started feeling baby boy recently and that has made things very exciting.  I actually felt my very first flutter around week 13 and I couldn't believe it was happening so quickly.  Now to wait until the kids and Jimmy can feel it, that will be truly magical. My symptoms have mostly subsided with the exception of the occasional, sometimes multiple times a week, headache.  I feel my old self showing up more often which has been very welcome.  Overall it's been a great pregnancy so far.

I do struggle though.  While I don't have any complications {thank GOD} thus far, I do have issues.  Being pregnant the third time comes with it's own set of challenges like showing much earlier, being more tired because I already have two kids to take care of, and the ever changing body.  I'm OK with the first two but the last one I'm struggling with more than I thought I would.

When I first found out I was pregnant I set goals for myself.  I only wanted to gain ___ lbs, I wanted to workout the entire pregnancy {with Kendall and James I quit "working out" around 28 weeks}, and I wanted to be in better shape {physically and mentally} post-partum than I was the first two times.  Well I have failed at one of those already and that is a hard pill to swallow.  While I do think I'm on a better track this time around I'm already fearful of what I'm left with after the baby is born.

I see other moms who are due around the same time as me and their bodies don't look like mine.  Their arms are still toned, they look like they just have a basketball under their shirts, they can still fit into their regular jeans even if they have to do the rubber-band trick.  None of that is true for me- I've been in maternity pants since I peed on the stick {kidding...kind of...}, my arms and legs are already gross looking, I hate wearing shorts and tank tops, and everything just looks sloppy.  I hate to sound like a complainer but after being in the best shape of MY life, it's hard to see my body changing in the opposite way that I'm used to.

I do know that this will be our last pregnancy {insert all the "you said that before" comments here}. I want to enjoy every ounce of it and now that we know he is a boy, I'm feeling him more, and we saw his sweet face on a 3D ultrasound it's putting everything into perspective.  As each day passes I realize that my body is going to do what it wants/needs to to bring this baby boy into the world.  Of course the decisions I make will also be contributing factors but I have numerous friends who have done things drastically differently between pregnancies only to end up with the same result also.  I'm trying hard to keep it all in perspective.

I know how blessed we are to be able to get pregnant not once, not twice but now three times.  I am beyond in love with this little baby.  I never thought I'd have three kids and it excites me and terrifies me all at once.  But I know we are lucky and I never take that for granted.  I also know that I have the rest of my life to be in shape and care about my body but I don't have the rest of my life to carry children.  Thinking about it in that way really puts things into perspective for me.

So I vow, from this day forward, to embrace every part of the rest of my pregnancy- the good, the bad and the ugly.  I will look at this body with love and treat it with respect.  I promise to soak up every remaining day knowing that this is the last time I will wear the ever-so-comfy maternity pants.  I will find joy in dressing my bump.  I will continue with my exercise program unless or until I physically can't.  I will fuel my body with foods that nourish my baby.  I will love myself through the next 19ish weeks and thereafter too.

Here's to a healthy, happy pregnancy {and baby!}.