February 1, 2010

Workplace Perfume Etiquette

Dear TL,

I notice you got new perfume this weekend, specifically Jovan White Musk. While I find this scent to be the most repulsive smell in the world unattractive, I appreciate that you don’t smell like a dirty street walker anymore. HOWEVER a little dab will do ya. You do NOT need to bathe in it before you come to work. I know you think this makes it seem like you are so fresh and so clean clean, but really it makes people think that you decided to dump a bottle of it on INSTEAD of showering this morning.

I have gotten used to the burps, unshaven legs, mismatched clothes, the fact that you tried to bring a convict to my wedding, dragging feet, and {not that I couldn’t go on} improper use of the English language, but this I CANNOT get past. You have been talked to about the stench before and the solution is NOT to DOUSING yourself in whatever scent of the day. Normally it’s some cotton candy body spray but today I’m fortunate enough to taste breathe Jovan White Musk, quite possibly the WORST fragrance EVER! I literally might throw up.

I bought you Dancing Waters from Bath and Body Works for your birthday; I thought you would take that as a hint. Obviously I was wrong. I think you used it until it ran out and then decided it was “too expensive” and went to the kids department and bought whatever was on sale, i.e. cotton candy body spray.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe it’s my cRaZy heightened pregnancy senses. I’m going home now, hope you are happy. Tomorrow can we try one spray instead of half a bottle? K? Thanks.

Your coworker that can smell you from two cubes down,

17 comments:

  1. Oh no! Bad perfume + pregnant does not mix! You poor thing--I hope she stars wearing the Dancing Waters soon! That stuff smells fab!

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  2. Oh My I feel your pain I really do. I use to work at a place like that its aweful...Thank goodness I don't work there anymore.

    ♥Stephanie H.

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  3. It's the pregnancy, it intensifies smells and makes you not able to stand them! I couldn't stand smells, esp chicken!

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  4. oh to funny! i hope she changes for you. maybe you can get a mask to help her get the hint.

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  5. Sorry!! I used to work in a denral office and we had a no perfume/ scented lotion/ any with a strong smell policy. The office manager had bad asthma and allergies and we did this for our patients too. I'd talk to her and tell her the truth. It could be from pregnancy or just her using too much. You shouldn't have to smell that all day. Good luck! I am sure she will understand!

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  6. Sorry!! I used to work in a denral office and we had a no perfume/ scented lotion/ any with a strong smell policy. The office manager had bad asthma and allergies and we did this for our patients too. I'd talk to her and tell her the truth. It could be from pregnancy or just her using too much. You shouldn't have to smell that all day. Good luck! I am sure she will understand!
    xo,
    Kelly

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  7. sounds like my middle school kids! they spray so much cologne in the locker room! pew!

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  8. Oh man, this is what I love about working at home and do not miss about the office! Before my last cube move, I sat across the aisle from a smelly girl with greasy hair who thought it was ok to wear SWEATPANTS to work and sang at her desk constantly. Yeah, I'm not making this up. So I feel your pain. Maybe you could relocate? ;-)

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  9. Bad perfume is horrible! I hate it when people wear alot of it at the gym. Sweat and perfume? Yuck!

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  10. Yuck! I hate when people wear too much perfume. Gives me a headache.

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  11. Ewww gag!!!

    One of the partners on my floor smokes like a flippin' chimney...in her office with the door shut. So, when she opens the door, it's like a tidal wave throughout the whole floor. Then she sprays this gawdawful perfume to cover it up. I am not tryin' to be all anti-social, but I have to shut the door...it stinks!!

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  12. ugh!! that would be horrible to deal with!
    the girl that sits next to me at work is pregnant and every time i cook food, put on "naturally scented" lotion or hair spray i let her know and tell her she has to tell me if it bothers her. i would feel so bad if i made her feel sick to her stomach.
    i think you have a right to tell HR that the ladies scent is making you sick. i know my company has a pretty strict policy.

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  13. OMG! I am sorry! LOL. When I started my new job, I had to go steal an empty cube phone because the person before me left the phone at my desk REAKING of the grossest perfume ever! It was insane!!

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  14. hahahaha "I bought you Dancing Waters" -that's awesome... hahaha! Love this, but sorry for the icky smelly office mate..

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  15. There's a guy at my work like this! I can smell him coming...and I can tell when he's been in a room before me. I just don't get it!?!

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  16. Ohhh I hate when people bathe in their perfume or cologne. Hope they get the hint soon!

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