September 22, 2011

Mom, Party of One

You know what will give you The Fever?  Seeing a squishy, pink, snugly, new baby.  Especially one that doesn't make a peep, sleeps on your chest, and sucks his thumb.  Cuteness overload, right?  
Well we had the pleasure of going to see one of my friends 4 week old baby boy this weekend and he.was.precious.  He was sweet, bright-eyed, and so so tiny.  I walked in their house thinking I'd leave with Baby Fever x100.  Yeah me, the girl who said she wants ONE child, hey anythings possible.  But?  We left there and I didn't even have a low grade fever.  Zilch, nada, nothing.  It only further convinced me that having one child is what's best for us and our family.
 Sure the idea of being pregnant, minus getting fat again, sounds lovely seeing as I had the best pregnancy, minus the hormones.  The feeling of your baby moving for the first time is THE BEST feeling a woman will ever experience.  I'd love to hold a tiny baby and take naps with him or her on my chest.  The teeny tiny clothes alone are enough to make your ovaries ache.  But the sleepless nights, losing weight all over again, and time it would take away from Kendall, quite frankly, scares the shit out of me.
I love my girl with all of my heart and then some.  To the moon and back.  To infinity and beyond.  The thought of taking my attention away from her and redirecting it to an oh so dependent on me newborn breaks my heart for her.  Obviously people do it every day and their children grow up to be well adjusted, sibling loving adults {J is living proof of that} but I just can't imagine that for me, for us.  Oh and the work part?  Cannot imagine working with two babies at home.  Again, people do it every day, I know, but I just can't even fathom the thought.  The only way I'd want another baby is if I could be a stay at home mom.  And let's face it, if we can't afford for me to stay home with one there is no way we'd afford me to stay home with two.  Plus I think my mother-in-law would keel over if we asked her to watch an newborn AND a toddler.
There's nothing more sweet and innocent than a brand new, squishy baby.  But for us, Kendall is enough.  One and done as we like to call it.  
But don't worry, she's not going to grow up to be a spoiled, bratty only child.  She will have what she needs and some things she wants.  She will know how to share.  She will know the value of a dollar.  She will be well adjusted.  She will be independent.  I think there's something to be said about an only child, after all, I'm one.

24 comments:

  1. You're making me all gung ho on just one too. Totally. I am with you on this one!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Omg my phone hateS me. I've been trying to write a comment now for five minutes! I love brand new babies, but we're no way ready for another one! Financially or emotionally!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wonder if it's an only child thing to be ok with one. I'm an only and totally ok with only having one. Silly husband has a brother and wants 3 since things are pretty easy for him.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I feel the same way. I think we will have atleast one more but I'm not even processing that thought for another 3 years. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love me a brand new baby, but I love my sleep SOOO MUCH MORE!! I'll just keep going to see my friends with their new babies to get my baby fix. That's good enough for me until we decide otherwise. I know that I do want another one, but I'm also afraid. Having a bad pregnancy, or all the other bad things that can happen. Scares me.

    ReplyDelete
  6. You have a convincing argument! I have always wanted 2 children. I have a sister and I love our relationship. The thought of having to share my time with 2 kids scares me! I am not ready yet for a 2nd one but hopefully in the next couple of years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm an only child and it makes me want a huge family-ha! People think I'm always joking when I say I want 4.

    Whenever I feel the crazy baby fever, I remember how tired I was the first 3 months and it subsides...a little:)

    ReplyDelete
  8. You are so strong! I get Baby Fever at the thought of holding a teeny tiny baby. But then again, I've never had kids, so I might change my mind. Kendall is a lucky girl to have such a devoted Mama like you. Now let's win the lottery so you can stay home and I can eventually too when I have my babies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have an almost 12 year old and a 14 month old. ;)

    Even with that big of a gap, I worried about having enough for both of them.

    My husband is an only, I have 2 brothers and we have a his, mine and ours.

    We'd like one more we think. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ha! My lady parts say "one and done" but my heart says "THREE!" :)

    Realistically? We're "One and Paused Indefinitely"...I just can't imagine another baby until Kitty is 2 or 3 years old.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have just an older brother and want at 3.

    Its what works for you and Jimmy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm an only too :) I don't think I'm spoiled :) I would have loved a sibling though. It's all about what you want. I personally said "never" to having an "only" family. I think that as you age it's a lot of pressure to bear all the needs of your parents as an only. Of course you could have 10 and none or 1 who do the caring. But I do think about the time. Heck, I feel that way going from 2 dogs to 4 and they're not even people! But I know it works itself out. But I'm with ya on the SAHM part. Except I kinda don't want any until I can be one!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I grew up as an only too, and always lusted after my friends' bigger families. I have 4, and that's just what I wanted. Hubby had the big V earlier this year, so I know we're done-done...but still I find myself wanting another sometimes! But hey different strokes for different folks, whatever works for you guys is great for you :-)As long as your sweetie is loved and cared for, she will get along just fine without siblings.

    Oh...and I was *terrified*, when I was preggers when #2, that there was no way I'd be able to love anyone else as much as #1...and you know what? It just happens. Yes my attention is divided, but this isn't always a bad thing. My kids learn to help each other, help themselves, be patient, and take turns.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I think there are pros and cons to having sibs and not having sibs. That being said, I think it's awesome that you know what works for your family and that you are totally ok with that! I'm sure Miss Kendall loves all of her attention she is blessed with from Mom and Dad!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm still up in the air on this subject but I completely agree with a lot of what you're saying.

    Love your blog.. So glad you're back

    ReplyDelete
  16. I was just like that when I got pregnant on accident with Ansley. I was so nervous that Emerson was going to be sad, left out, all those emotions. I would break down and cry about it the whole nine months. And you know what when Ansley came she adjusted GREAT (I was very blessed) but I honestly think having a sibling has made her heart softer and now I feel bad for her when she doesn't have her sister around or other kids around to play with.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm so with you! when sean got snipped, I thought for sure we would regret it. granted, we have 3 kids. anyway...my nephew was born and I didnt feel a snippet of a longing for wanting more.My BFF had a baby and again, nothing. I held him for 5 minutes and was over it. It was the best feeling ever to no longer want. I'm happy with what I have. :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I just found your blog and really like it! I completely agree with this post. I have a 4 (almost 5) month old and we are seriously considering making her an only child too. I never say never, but for now it seems like the best choice for us.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Love this! I am one of two and while I love my sister I really feel like just one would be good for us! Glad to know it isnt just me because people seem to try to tell me I am wrong if I ever say it out loud :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. im totally with you on the 1 child thing. people think im crazy but sometimes my husband and I can't imagine another baby. And the taking time away from our first, that is also a challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  21. im totally with you on the 1 child thing. people think im crazy but sometimes my husband and I can't imagine another baby. And the taking time away from our first, that is also a challenge.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Having another baby - wanting to have another baby rather - sneaks up on you. It may just be you do stop at one, but I felt exactly like you after my first son. Sleepless nights KILL. Kill. Horrendous the whole newborn thing was for me. You also question how it's possible to find room to love another baby like you do your first.... all perfectly normal thoughts. Then you have the baby and your realise, and I can't stress this enough, you don't split your love. Your heart is an AMAZING organ. What astounded me was that everything you feel for your first child, is suddenly bursting in you for the 2nd. Your heart expanded. You did't have to divide your love up, you simply had more love added.... I also fin there is no perfect time to plan the next baby. How I knew I must have been ready was when I tested negative on a "am I pregnant??" pregnancy test. I swear I didn't want to be pregnant... but when I wasn't, I felt sad. Next month we tried... And I wound up with 3 beautiful boys....

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hi,
    I just happened onto your blog via Pinterest. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything. I just would like to tell you a bit about our story.

    We have 8 children. 3 homegrown and 5 adopted. Now in our 50's our youngest 3 children are 6 years old. Boy I love parenting now. All things are in place. Money, careers and we have good instincts about the important things.

    I come from a family of 4 girls. Right now my sisters and I are faced with placing our mom in an assisted living facility. I can't imagine facing this alone. Or having gone to my dad's funeral 4 years ago just me and mom. Your siblings are the longest relationship you will have on this earth. No one should be faced with life alone after their parents are gone. If thinking about being pregnant and sleepless nights is hard, think about adopting a toddler or an older child. What about foster care? That's what we did. We picked our babies up at the hospital and have been the only parents they have ever known.

    Just think about life alone. Sad and lonely.

    Blessings,
    Shelley

    ReplyDelete
  24. Whatever makes you happy, I say. But I totally agree with what a previous commenter said. You don't have to share your love. Love multiplies. It is amazing how after having another baby my heart just grows and there is instantly love for that new baby. I don't love my older child any less. It just grows. And I love that my children are not lonely. They have friends and companions. I agree that you have to look at things from a financial standpoint, and there are definitely sacrifices that have to be made, but they are soooooo worth it.

    ReplyDelete