There's something about best bitches that makes the world seem like its shitting rainbows and puppy dawgs.
Oh, wait. Hi. I'm Kristen. You may have heard my name around here from time to time. I am officially, in a non stalker, but wanna be chick that gets to sit at the cool table in the cafeteria while rockin some really awesome shoes, flaunting a hickey from the captain of the football team but not look like a slut, best blog friend of Shannon. I feel like a poser hopping over to her uber popular and way too cool for me blog. Do people even say poser anymore? Probably not. Which is why I'm apparently old. As if the gray hair and 9pm bedtime don't make that apparently obvious on any other given day.
You'll have to excuse me... this is how my posts usually go. I'm all over the place. Wish I could blame ADD but it's more like a lack of time combined with getting the shakes from my boxed wine withdraw and a 33lb toddler climbing up my legs when I'm trying to do anything other than give him 150% of my attention.
Back to best bitches. Shannon. She is mine. I obviously don't need to make you aware of her epic awesomeness. You guys are like Smokey from the original Friday movie... "and you know this... maaan!"
Shannon is amazeballs. I had the chance to visit with her in person recently and ever since my foot stepped off the airport curb in Columbus, it was apparently obvious that my life would never be the same again. I, quite frankly, don't know how I have survived 32.7 years without her. I'd swear she invaded my brain. If it were humanly possible, I'm certain we would be connected at the hip, much to either the 1. dismay or 2. excitement of our husbands. Catch 22 on that whole sister wives thing. Two hot girls to ravage, but double the nagging and required chores. I think sex is worth it, but the boys might beg to differ.
Again? See... I'm off track.
What I'm getting at is that Shannon is bombdizzle. Fah rizzle. Mah nizzle with a side of drizzle. I love her. And I'm glad you do too.
Best bitches forever Shannon. But next time you head on vacation, your ass better be in the sunshine state sipping wine out of a box on my balcony. If not, you might get a kick to the neck.
Enjoy vacation - asshole )
this cracks me up!
ReplyDeleteLove it. Hilarious! :)
ReplyDeleteHaha easily the best blog post ever. I hope my best bitchesfeel the same when I'm on vacation
ReplyDeleteThis was the most amazing post and anyone who talks like Snoop Dog is for rizzle an amazing bizzle in my book :)
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