October 12, 2012

31 Days: Day 12

Today's post is going to be in a little bit of a different format than the previous days of this challenge. Today I am pissed but not at my husband, he's still wonderful.

Today I got a comment on my earlier post regarding the handbag I just purchased.  It went something like this, "did you ask your husband's permission before you bought a $130 purse?".  I'm assuming that what this person was getting at {anonymous, of course} is when I wrote my post where Jimmy told me to treat myself and I "asked" him if I could buy myself some new leggings.

Newsflash:  I don't need his permission, I chose to ask out of respect.  He does the same for me when he buys himself something that's not a "necessity".  Of course he wouldn't care that I buy a pair of $8 leggings just as he wouldn't care that I bought myself this purse.  I know my limits and I know our bank account.  I'm sure the same person is thinking to themselves, "but didn't you complain about how tight money is?" to which I'll say, yes I did.  It's no secret that we have our financial ups and downs, as I'm sure everyone does.  Truth is, I have a little extra pocket money right now and I wanted to treat myself.  Period.  End of story.  Mind ya biznas.

If you think that bashing my marriage by assuming that I'm this "kept woman" who has to ask her husband's permission to do anything, you are sadly mistaken.  I do what I do out of pure respect, admiration, and love. I am taking this journey to be a better wife because he deserves it, our marriage deserves it.  I encourage others to do the same because I have seen what great things it has done for my relationship in such a short period of time, it's remarkable.

So for you, no-reply email, to make that comment, seemingly harmless but a dig underneath the "it's just a question" demeanor, is rude.  You are rude.  My husband works hard for his money and for me to spend it frivolously,  without "asking" is rude. I have far too much appreciation for all that he does for our family to disrespect him by treating myself to such a "lavish" item {seeing as my last, probably, 3 purses have been from Target}.

So thanks for your question.  Next time leave an email and I'll reply directly.

27 comments:

  1. How rude. I do the same thing. I ask before I buy even though Tim wouldn't care. That was rude and rule #1 of blogging is if you don't have anything to say don't say it at all! I hope your Friday gets better.

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  2. Well said! My husband and I always "ask" each oher if we can buy something. Totally just out of respect. Enjoy your purse!

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  3. Get it gurrrrrrl! People need to minddabiznass. Ugh. I hate that shit.

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  4. I friggin love you. josh and I also ask each other before we buy.

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  5. takes all kinds... sounds like classic jealousy to me!
    pffffft @ the haters!
    xxoo!

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  6. I can't believe someone would voice something so tacky. I think that is beyond rude, just because you can be anonymous and leave hateful comments doesn't mean you should.

    My husband and I also tell each other/run by each other when you are going to make a purchase. It's just a respect thing, imo. Don't worry about that hateful person you are so much better than that. You and Jimmy are the only people that need to worry about you purchasing a $130 purse. ;)

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  7. There's always one.

    My Husband I and discuss almost all of our expenses. It's normal. It's called communication and a healthy marriage.

    Sounds like a someone's a little jealous.

    You don't need to justify yourself to him/her. It's easy to hate behind the walls of the internet.

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  8. I work from home and make way less money than my husband. I often ask him before I purchase something... he always says "yes", but I too do it out of respect, not because I have to ask him or because I have no access to the money.

    Perhaps this anonymous commenter should remember "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".

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  9. I wonder if the person who posted that question has the ballz to post an apology ..

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  10. I agree that it was rude but just to play devil's advocate you have posted A LOT about not having money and even about the UPS man coming late and (with a silly tone) hoping Jimmy didn't see your online purchases. I think the person was rude but honestly writing a fired up post like this probably gave them exactly what they were looking for! Love your blog Shannon and that you keep it all real so I'm just putting that out there - don't hate me! (The bag was super adorbs by the way.)

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  11. Yikes. Rude. Whether she was implying that you were a "kept woman," or that she thought you SHOULD be a "kept woman," that's just plain unnecessary.

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  12. Couldn't have said it better myself. It's all about respect, not dominance.

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  13. I totally agree with you. I too as "permission" to make plans for us and to buy 'lavish' things. I have actually dropped 'friends' that have questioned my relationship and how i ask these questions. I too do it out of respect and love and think of us as a unit. I can't go making plans for him without consulting him or spending large amounts of money either.

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  14. I ask my husband about just about everything I buy too. Not because I think there's a chance he'll say no but because it's respectful. Haters gonna hate.

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  15. I agree with all that you wrote. I also 'ask' my husband to buy things that aren't a necessity. I do this because like your husband he works hard for that money. It's his paycheck. Sure it is ours to pay the bills and buy us necessities. I should 'ask' for the 'extras' until I earn my own pocket money.. He doesn't get upset if I come home with a shirt for Mackenzie or something extra not on our grocery list. But I feel it's a respect thing, like you, to 'ask' before spending money on craft supplies or new clothes for me.
    And yes, people need to stop leaving anonamous comments! I hate that!

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  16. Girl it's respectful of you to ask him. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for that. I don't ask my husband for the little things but that kind of money, hell yea I'm asking. It's not just my money. It's OURS. Haters be stupid. You're respectful. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad for that.

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  17. I don't ask permission or notify B about stuff like that, but I could care less if other people do. As for the comment, the rude ones never leave their real e-mail! Maybe you'll be on GOMI one day! That's my goal!!!

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  18. I wouldn't let one person's comment bother you so much! You have so much more to be proud of to let that one person get to you! Let it roll off and move on :) You were just being a respectful wife.

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  19. Well, now I'm interested. What kind of purse?! People are such assholes sometimes, it's crazy how they just don't have a filter....like really? And then to comment with a no reply email. Oh, that's nice!!! Ugh, people! I swear!! Have a great weekend!

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  20. I completely agree! Thank you for sharing. You hit the nail on the head, dead on. I shared your post with my husband and he couldn't agree more. We all know our limits and sharing respect within our marriage and relationships. Thank you!

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  21. As my husband says, bitches are crazy!

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  22. It sucks but people judge those who blog. Your life is on display. The part they DONT REMEMBER is that we don't display ALL Parts all the time and we have boundaries. And so it's not anyones business where the extra money came from. And nor is it necessary for bloggers to explain those little bits if WE DONT WANT TO. So irritating. I feel you. So much.

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  23. Ugh, why do people spend time digging at others and leaving hateful, spiteful comments? Good for you for addressing this coward directly. And yay for you having some extra moolah to spend on yourself. You deserve it, mama!

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