May 28, 2013

Things That Are {NOT} Awesome

Disclaimer: this post should be read in sarcasm font.

A few things that I find especially "awesome" right now include, but are not limited to the following:

  • I now, officially, weigh more than my husband.  Who wouldn't want to weigh more than their counterpart? 
  • I haven't been to the dentist in three years.  I used to be an every six month kinda girl but then I had a baby.
  • I currently sleep with no less than 4 pillows every night.
  • Lately Kendall has been thinking it's completely appropriate to wake up at 6am.  Not cool, kid, not cool.
  • Chipotle brown rice.  If you like the taste of cardboard then you might like this otherwise stick with the white stuff, trust.
  • Just when I thought the ticks were gone Jimmy found one on his neck.  Vampire bugs be gone!
  • Kendall refuses to get dressed most days.  I've tried bribing her, threatening her, encouraging her, letting her pick out the outfit and locking her in her room. It's a fight no matter what.
  • Bending over or standing up after sitting for a while is a chore. I'm about to start considering that my workout for the day.
  • Seeing pictures of your skinny self does nothing for your self esteem when you have 3 more months of nothing but weight gain ahead of you.
  • Stores that don't accept PayPal.  I'm looking at you Old Navy.
  • My bangs.  I swear they go from being just a tad too short to impossibly hard to style too long in no time flat.  It's 2013, haven't we developed a no grow bang solution yet?
  • Kendall screamed for almost an hour going to bed.  Most nights are like this and much like getting dressed we've tried everything.  We've reached the point where we just ignore it now and hope that she gets the picture, SOON.
  • Have you guys seen Pingu on Netflix?  I'm not sure if it's in another language or no language at all but that show is the epitome of annoying.  Kendall loves it, of course.
  • Last weekend I drove to four "spas" to get a pedicure the first place turned me away because they had one client when I came in and another coming in an hour and 10 minutes and the other three were closed.
  • Calls from blocked numbers.  I want to answer so badly because I'm nosy and then I just figure it's a spam call and don't want to get sucked into their evil.
  • Buy Buy Baby and Target websites are the most un-user-friendly.  Of course these are the two places I registered at.
Whew!  Glad I got that off my chest!  Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend.  Ours was a pretty good, but slightly uneventful one.  I spent Sunday night cleaning dried up food off of our dining room chairs while listening to KP scream over the monitor, "I need a drink!  I need to go potty!  I need a tissue! I'm.So.Sad!!!!!"  So that was awesome.


  1. GIRLLLL get the paypal debit card, then you can use it just like a debit card and use it ANYWHERE :P

  2. Oh my, Target website is SO un-user friendly. ANNOYING:) Also, 6AM is a LATE wake-up call in our house. I have tried EVERYTHING to get baby C to sleep past 5:15AM (NOTHING works). I have to repeat, she'll grow out of this someday over and over a hundred times every morning :)

  3. Oh my God- I couldn't even finish reading your post because once I got to Pingu I had to immediately respond. WTF? I am so glad someone else has witnessed this crazy penguin. We don't even know how Elena found it on Netflix but she did and she's obsessed. I'm like there's no language. It can't be good!! Pingu Pingu. And then I wind up singing it all day. Aggghhhh!

  4. Oh jeez just reading your post stresses me out! Lol! You must get to the dentist. Get a babysitter and give yourself a trip to the dentist and a little shopping or pedicure after as a reward!!

  5. Today must be Cranky Tuesday. Everything I am trying to get done this morning is NOT working. Naptime is going to be a big fat waste at this rate!

  6. I'm puzzled. What do you mean she "refuses" to get dressed? She's, what? Three? You're the parent. Make her. She's acting like a brat because you allow her to.

  7. Haha I just laughed when I read most of those! I know the feeling about the paypal thing! I guess it is my sign I don't need anything since the last thing I want to do is go get my purse then find my card, then try to type everything in! I usually am already in bed and don't feel like getting up.

  8. I'm with you on the pillows. Four and no less. I also haven't been to the dentist in who knows how long. Oh well. I'll go after Baby #2 is born. Maybe. Probably not.

  9. I hear ya, I can't no longer bend over to put my shoes on. I have issued standing up to walk. I look like a woobly toddler, I know I have to put one foot in front of the other but when I stand my feet don't work. I sleep with a huge body pillow (about 6' long) and 2 other pillows. Never seen this Pingu. I will have to look into it.

  10. Happy Monday...I think you need to register for a few bottles of wine:)

  11. And here I was thinking that my annoyance for Pingu was solitary. I have to take away the Wii remote just so my son can't pick it. lol
    I think its Swedish btw.

  12. i love your posts more and more every time i read them. i assume i read them exactly in the same tone as you write them and were the same person. except i dont have a daughter with kendalls spunk lol, and instead it used to be 3 nanny kids. we really could be the same person.
    getting out of bed in the middle of the night or walking the dogs? definitely chalk those up as work outs these days!

  13. Wait. Stores accept Paypal? How does this work? Nice!