June 27, 2013

Real Woman's Guide to Push Presents

Let's talk about push presents for a hot minute, shall we?

Diamond earrings, necklaces, charm bracelets, birthstone rings, all seem to be typical push present gifts.  Sure, I would take any/all of the above, but there are a few more things that top my list and none of them require a visit to the jeweler.


  • Boob job.  I'm not talking implants, people.  I just want a nice lift and tuck.  I mean I haven't even breastfed {yet} but I needed one of these bad boys before I ever saw those two pink lines.  I'd take a reduction too.  Please and thank you.
  • Victoria's Secret gift card.  Ladies, if you have been pregnant you know the toll it takes on your under garments.  If you haven't been pregnant, this is your warning.  You will need all new underwear once all is said and done.  Yes you will.
  • Polar watch/gym membership/personal trainer.  Let's face it, I want all the help I can get this time around because I want to be back in my old body, like yesterday.  Perhaps it would just be easier to wire my mouth shut.
  • Wine.  Or basically any alcohol will do after 9 months of abstaining.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, being pregnant while raising a toddler is a whole different ball game and I hope someone recognizes that and is ready and waiting to hand me a Blue Moon the minute James Weston is in this world safely. 
  • House cleaner.  Y'all I have been harping this issue since day one.  I want a house cleaner and I can't think of a better time to hire one than after a baby is born.  Mama is up to her ears in laundry, toys and dishes as it is and you know what?   I just want to snuggle my newborn as much as possible because I know how fast those precious days go by.  The last thing I want to do is vacuum up 9 lbs of dog hair a day.
  • Massage/spa day.  If you are like me you already love a good spa day but after carrying around an extra 20, 30, 40 lbs for 9 months nothing sounds nicer than, no less than, a 60 minute back rub.  
  • Work out clothes.  Nothing will motivate me to get The Skinnies back like a cute new pair of compression capris or adorable workout tank {ahem, Thread Eleven anyone?}.  Throw in a new pair of running shoes and I'm down 20 lbs just thinking about my pre-baby self.
I realize some women might be offended if their husband handed them a gym membership and some new workout clothes but me?  I'd welcome that ish with open arms.  Jimmy already knows this so he better not disappoint.


19 comments:

  1. YES. best list ever. im also adding jimmy johns to that one. a bottle of moscato and jimmy johns before i even leave the hospital, puhleeeease!! and then lets start with a breast reduction and lift while i recover from labor anyways - followed by all the fun stuff! isaiah just mentioned the other night hes got a push present in mind so i hope hes on the same page as i am!

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  2. My friend had a reduction paid for by her insurance company. If you remove a pound or more from each side it might be covered. Although a pound sounds like a lot.

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  3. Can you talk Kent into giving me a boob job without the 2nd baby?

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  4. I think these are awesome alternative push presents. I mean I love jewelry as much as the next girl, but sign me up for a boob job stat!

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  5. I'll vouche for number one! It's a must! Demand it...you grew and birthed them babies - you deserve to have your boobs put back where they belong! I just did a lift, which ended up also being a bit of a reduction which was fine with me! The difference is AMAZING!
    xo

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  6. Great list!! So practical! If only we had a money tree!

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  7. HA!! I keep asking my husband what my push present is this time around. He keeps avoiding me. I'm not really sure what I want this time, though. I also told him to have a bottle of Captain ready at the hosptial for after I have the baby. You're right...being pregnant and raising a toddler = an excuse to drink!

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  8. I told my husband I want a boob job for the next push present, I don't need a reduction I need implants...my son literally sucked the life out of mine and whoever said that small ones can't sag are wrong.

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  9. I had no idea what a push present was until my friend Amy told Scott he had to get me one. A few days before I had Andrew, I was given a pair of peridot earrings (andrew was born in august!)

    This is a clever list! I would have been happy with the promise of changing all poopy diapers! LOL

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  10. I love this list! I will be printing out a copy for my hubby lol A boob job is at the top of my list! After nursing one baby and seeing what that did to my boobs I am dreading what this new baby will do to them lol

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  11. I told Todd my push present would be him not divorcing me after 9 months of pregnancy and going through labor! But seriously, totally not expecting anything especially since we've already spent a crap ton of money on baby items.

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  12. When I was put on bed rest with my daughter at 36 weeks and wasn't ready to start spending my maternity leave days, hubby bought me an early push present - a wide screen laptop - so I could work from home. 2.5 years later, I still use that bad boy and LOVE it because it is MINE and he isn't allowed to screw around with the settings and what not. For baby #2, born in April, my push present is/was him cooking dinner every night since baby brother was born. LOVE!

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  13. Yes, Best List Ever! Totally pushing for the lift and tuck now that I am done having kids and breastfeeding is closer to being done too!

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  14. I'm not even having a baby but would like the majority of gifts on this list!!! Hope your hubby sees this!!

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  15. This list is absolutely perfect! I'll take one of each, please!

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  16. Oh man I totally second the boob reduction and lift. Pregnancy has done a number on mine that sounds like a perfect gift and great self esteem boost!

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  17. Push present??? My husband tells (more like states or talking to himself) me as we are headed to the hospital to deliver..."huh-I probably was supposed to get you a push present. Well I didn't, sorry!" What do you say to that? I too would love anything that was put on your push list. I didn't even get flowers or a balloon. But I did get the most beautiful son in the world.

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  18. I would take any of those gifts too! Hope you get what you're asking for!

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