June 13, 2013

Your Offering

I'm not sure if this is a socially acceptable topic but it's one I'm curious about and so I'm putting it out there. Tell me if I'm out of line.

I am curious to know how you/your family handles the offering at church.  Do you give every week?  Once a month?  Do you ever feel intimidated when that basket comes around?  Do you give the equivalent of a days worth of pay?

Let me say this, when they get the offering baskets out and start passing them around I get nervous.  I don't know what's appropriate to give, I don't want other people seeing what we give, some weeks I forget to bring cash or check therefore have nothing to offer {thank God our church offers online giving}.  I know it shouldn't but it makes me anxious every single week.

I've heard some people say that they treat is as any other bill/payment and it's figured into their budget.  Those people pay one lump sum once a month.  But then there are others who give a little bit every week.  We usually wind up giving every week but I kind of think I like the idea of doing it once a month.  Does it matter?  I don't think so.

I am also a big fan of keeping it anonymous.  We usually give cash and don't put it in an envelope with our names on it or anything.  I think that it shouldn't matter WHO is giving WHAT, that's not the point, right?  Yet it seems most people are slipping in envelopes so maybe we are doing it wrong.

Then there are the weeks where we struggle to get out the door with our clothes on correctly and I leave my purse in the kitchen and Jimmy doesn't have any cash on him.  Those weeks we don't have anything to offer and, while I'm sure this isn't the case, but I feel like people are thinking "Oh you didn't give?!".

I clearly am thinking too much into this, I realize that.  But I'm curious what others do and think about the subject.

44 comments:

  1. Like you, each week I get this anxious feeling when the offering plates come by. My family gives what we can, when we can. It's between us and God. Our church (and the Bible) say that you're supposed to tithe which means give 10% of your gross income. Now, giving 10% of your gross income for us is way over out budget and we're just not comfortable going there yet. So again, we give what we can, when we can. Some weeks it's $50, some weeks it's $2, some weeks it's nothing. We also don't fill out the offering envelope because again, it's supposed to be between you and God and in my opinion, church is free. We minister in any way we can by helping to clean up, offering our time, working in the nursery etc. To me, those things, the value of our time, also counts towards our tithe. Most people who give in an envelope do that so they have a way to track their total donations and use it as a tax deduction at the end of the year. We don't give enough to do this so it doesn't matter to us.

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  2. I *try* to do it every time we get paid so I don't get behind. And I give 10% of our income typically because there's a place in the Bible that says that. I'd say just pray about what you feel led to give. I do use checks because at the end of the year you can claim that on taxes...it's the equivalent of donating to a non-profit, so you don't have to pay taxes on it. Sometimes I give more for certain events or missions work etc. and we also sponsor two compassion children and I consider that to be a portion of our monthly giving. All that to say, just pray about it. Seriously. And if you have questions for me you know I'm an open book. :)

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  3. Oh, and no matter what you decide, do NOT feel judged for skipping the plate. God knows your heart and plans. When I worked in the church there were people who gave a dollar or five dollars every week, but I think God would prefer ten percent once a month. ;) Also, I can honestly say that the times I didn't think we could afford to give the full ten percent but I've stepped out in faith and given it anyway, God has always blessed us in another way to meet our financial needs.

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  4. My church offers automatic withdrawn from my bank account once a month. So, as we enter the church, every person grabs a little green slip that reads "my contribution was given by automatic deposit" to put in the plate. I kind of like it because I never have to remember to transfer any funds and it stays anonymous during the service. xo

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  5. I think Kodi said it best. My parent's always did it twice a month when my mom got paid (Military is paid 1&15) She would also give my sister and I a couple dollars each to put in.
    I can say this, don't ever let the thought of someone judging you stop you from what you choose. For all you know they could be looking and thinking "I've been there too"

    :)

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  6. We do the monthly budget and I use a check because I don't carry cash but I don't usually use it as a tax deduction... Its just what I'm used to.

    I've found in my life that the more I give back the more God blesses me. Its so crazy how clear it is to me too looking back. There were many times where I didn't know how I ws going to pay for rent but I tried to pay at least the 10% and it always worked out. Tithing is a great form of practicing trust and showing God that you do have faith in him even when it stretches you tight. Its pretty awesome!

    I have never looked at Simone that didn't give to the basket right in front of me and thought anything negative since that is me three times a month! Everyone should be focusing on themselves and what God is calling them to do. If you are truly doing what God is calling you to do, you will have piece of mind. Pray about it! You'll figure it out.

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  7. I think you are thinking about it too much. Personally, I don't get offended if someone doesn't put something in the plate. I honestly don't notice. My husband and I tithe once per month (usually the first Sunday of every month). My husband will take 10% of our wages from the month before and that is our base tithe. If we feel called to give more than the 10% we will. If our church had the option of doing it online, we would. It's just easier. We pay for everything else online as it is. Don't worry what other people think--most likely they aren't thinking it! I think it is so great that you and your family have started going back to church!! :) Love your blog, have a great day!

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  8. Well I am not religious, so I don't go to church. So maybe my opinion doesn't matter, but I would feel very intimidated. I would also feel that all of these nice church going people are watching and judging me. Even though that's not what church is about.I think there should be a box that you can go up before or after the service to donate, so then everyone can mind their own business and they don't know if you went up or not. Do you think that they do have you do it in front of everyone to put the pressure on? Do they do that because if they didn't more people wouldn't give?

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  9. We are sort of in-between churches right now, and the new-to-us church we have been going to has little boxes in the back of the sanctuary to slip your offering in as you come in. No offering plate, which I must say, I think is AWESOME.

    At our old church, I would give 10% of what I made that week. No more, no less. I didn't always give joyfully because damn, that money would have really helped out sometimes! I am a firm believer, though, that by giving you receive blessings back. (That's not to say "Give to the church, just so you get something back".) When I lost my job and we were struggling, I volunteered my time instead of a monetary offering.

    Also- I always try to use an envelope when giving cash, strictly because the church keeps up with it and sends out a statement yearly so I can use it as a tax deduction.

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  10. This has always been a hot topic in my marriage because my husband's family grew up putting a couple of dollars in the basket every week and my family did not go to church. We are members of a church that we love and I always feel like we should be giving more but when it's up to my husband, he feels that $5 is enough and that usually makes me feel uncomfortable because we can afford to give much more. Our church also has envelopes with numbers on them that match to our name but that doesn't make me feel any better, especially when our contributions vary depending on who has the envelope that week. Hopefully those at church are not being judgmental but if they are, shame on them. I agree with you that it can be intimidating. My experiences growing up were in very formal Catholic churches and they would sometimes pass the basket several times, which is maybe where my anxiety stems from. It was bad enough that you had to know what to say, when to stand, when to sit, when to kneel, but now you have to put money in the basket 3-4 times? Find what works for you and within a church that makes you feel comfortable and welcome.

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  11. I get super uncomfortable talking about this--but we believe in tithing 10% of our gross income. It's hard, it's a lot of money--but I know that I am blessed in return and my money ultimately goes to really good things. Especially in my church. However, I know for a fact that no one is judging you when you don't give. I was always taught it should come out of a cheerful heart and attitude and if it doesn't? Then why bother, you know? We use checks. Because it's such a large amount of money yearly it is tax deducted, but that these days isn't much. I honestly just don't have cash and we use the system where our bank just writes the checks twice month like a bill. When we were in between churches we chose to give our "tithe" (the 10%) to organizations that we loved--like compassion or world vision. When we are at"home" in a church, that is where we tithe. We usually say that the tithe is the 10%--and the "offering" is over and beyond that. I could be wrong--just always how we were brought up. ;)

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  12. Just depends, at first when we were doing once a month I hated passing the basket empty by but. Gt over it eventually. As for amount we prayed and consulted scripture and I think it's different for everyone depending on their personality and their relationships, 10% before taxes was a simple way to calculate it however its a lot of money for us and we just needed to trust and have faith about it.

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  13. We tithe 10 percent of our gross income, writing a check every two weeks when my husband gets paid. It's really hard sometimes because money gets tight with me staying at home with our son, but I find comfort in Malachi 3:10, where God challenges His people to bring a tithe—ten percent of their income—to Him. "Test me in this," He tells Israel. It's the only place in scripture where it is okay to test God. If we have faith that he will take care of us, he will bless us and provide for us in ways that seem impossible. It's such a fantastic testimony when we can see the way he provides for us when we think we won't have the money. For instance, money was really tight and tithing was starting to hurt a little, but then my husband just got a great bonus at work for an extra project he did. But as for whether anyone will judge you, I never really pay attention to what other people are putting in the basket so I doubt anyone else is really paying attention.

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  14. We start with 10% off of our gross income (sometimes we give more for missions, special events, etc). My husband gets paid every two weeks so we tithe with each paycheck. Like you, we were always running out the door, often forgetting the check book (among other things). :) Thankfully, our church has an online tithing system so we have it set up for automatic withdrawal from our account. Everything is tracked in our online banking so every year we just print out our tithe list and turn it in for tax purposes. Easy!

    Like many others have already said, we have experienced "tight" times where I selfishly want to pull back on tithe but continue to give our 10% and God is always faithful to meet our needs! Tithing is between you, your husband, and God- it's no one else's business how much you give, how often you give, or whether you drop it in a basket or do it online.

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  15. do not get intimated or nervous, if anyone is judging - shame on them! they need to get to the alter to repent! with so many different methods of paying, no one should judge! maybe back in the day, but not in 2013!

    we give 10% of our gross income. I write a check each sunday for that week's amount. that is just what works for us.

    when someone says they can't afford it, my mom always says you can't afford NOT to. ya know? I know it's hard, it's a lot of money, but if you're faithful, god will supply!

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  16. I asked a few people this recently because there is no way my cheapo hubby is going to give 10%. I pray for God to work on his heart. Do some people use envelopes to keep things more private?

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  17. We give weekly and we give what we can. People aren't judging your for what you give, the church is just happy to recieve something. There are weeks that I go, and I never carry cash or have my cb handy, and I give nothing. Then there are the week that we can only afford $5 and then there are weeks we can afford more. We have tried to make it "a bill" but that just doesn't work with us.

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  18. We give once a month. We're working our way up to 10% of the gross income, but we're not there yet. We didn't tithe for a while and it's really hard to do, but we're working on it and the goal is to get to 10%.

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  19. Boomer gives her own offering every week because she like to 'Give money to God momma!', I usually do the once a month thing. We always do envelopes with names tho because its a tax deduction....

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  20. I love reading these responses and it has really made me think more about what we're giving and why we don't give more. I do believe that God will provide so we shouldn't worry about the amount, but it's HARD! 10% of our income is a lot of money!

    We usually just give what we can. If we've missed a week then we give more the following Sunday. Our church is old school and we don't have automatic withdrawl from our checking (that seems crazy to me) so we just write a check each time and our church gives envelopes for each family with a number on it so they can keep track. I think it's more about the whole tax deduction thing because they give us a slip after the first of the year showing how much we gave, although we didn't do anything about it anyway.

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  21. from the view point of working in a church, I think tithing and pleading money to your church is very important. it's how churches plan for the coming year, what ministries they can offer and support, how they staff the church, it's how they make their budgets (much like families have to based on their income).
    I don't think it makes a difference if you choose to put cash or a check in, or if you donate online. how you donate is up to and if you want to deduct it for taxes, like other people have said- that's where the envelopes come in. other than for tax purposes we don't care who gives what, and only 1 or 2 people know who gave what (they're the ones that send out the tax info).
    also, once a month vs. twice or every week doesn't really matter either. you have to do what works for you.
    i'm sorry that you feel anxious about the offering plate or like people are judging you.

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  22. I don't go to church now, but did as a child and my mom is actually the church secretary. I don't think anyone looks at what you are putting into the basket- I never even thought to do that. But my family gave 10% of their income and yes, it's worked into your budget (if you are budgeting types) just like any other charity. If I were the church going type, I would defintely make sure the church knew how much I was giving. Part of my mom's job is entering that information in and kids that go to the private school get different rates depending on how much they participate at church and how much they give (and their income obviously).

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  23. We have not always been good about giving offering, but had jointly decided to make it more of a priority for us over the last few years. We give a percentage of our gross monthly income, but divide it into weekly checks (which is mostly for our own benefit of getting into the habit of remembering to do it every week). And yes, most people I know do envelopes/checks so that their offerings are tax deductible.

    One thing that our pastor growing up used to always say was, "Now we give back to God just a portion of what He has first given us--our time, talents, and treasures." I loved that because it's a great reminder that everything we have is God's to begin with, but also because it is a good reminder that offering isn't ALL about money. Giving monetarily is a GREAT THING. But I also don't think God wants us to put groceries on our credit card just so we can give 10%. I know Justin's mom told me that when they were younger, it was a HUGE sacrifice for them to even give 2% of their income. But she was a stay at home mom and her kids were in school, so she had TIME, and used to volunteer a lot at the church as part of their "offering". Another couple I know can't give much monetarily, but they clean the church every week as their "offering". I was always taught that it's not about equal giving, it's about equal sacrifice (which I think is echoed in Mark 12:41-44).

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  24. Our church does not pass anything, they have abox in the back by the door that you can place money into, or you can give online.. which is what we do. We believe in giving 10% of our income, it can be touch sometimes but we are always rewarded for the faithfulness of obedience to what the bible says. I always like to think if it werent for God blessing us with the income we wouldnt have anything anyway!

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  25. Our church has envelopes so you can designate where the money goes to: Utilities, General, School, etc. Plus they then keep track and send you a handy little form at the end of the year for your taxes so you can write off your donation. We also have the online deal, so you can specify a certain amount each week/biweekly/month so there's no guessing or forgetting or any of that. As for how much, I think there is a % of your annual salary that they suggest you give (can't remember off the top of my head) but we don't do that. We give what we feel we can give that particular week. I used to be signed up for Auto-donate but when we moved I cancelled it and have just not ever signed back up. Basically what I'm saying is, do what feels right for you. I doubt anyone pays that much attention to whether you're giving or how much you're giving each week. Don't sweat it! :)

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  26. Our church does communion every sunday. The rule is 10% of your weekly take-home but give cheerfully. Mean give from your heart and if you cant do 10%, then give what you can and help out other ways around church. We also have the little envelopes, I like those because really? what I give is between God and myself.

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  27. We are on a very tight budget, so we normally just give the kids a dollar or so to put in the offering plate. And when we can put in more, we do. I always feel like everybody's eyes are burning into me when I don't put anything in. I also like to do cash. It doesn't make you feel like someone is counting what you give.

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  28. What a great post Shannon - we attend church once a week and we always contribute to the offering. We have a standard amount of R100 per week that we contribute - which is the equivalent to $10 a week. We also always get involved in other church activities and fundraising that we require more donations.
    x

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  29. my husband does ours online - a one month lump sum. & even though there is that option to do so online, i get anxious every time the basket comes around and feel guilty for not putting anything in. i wonder how many people do it online, since a large part of our church is online i think even the older generation uses it a lot. but im with you.

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  30. I tend to write a check every week and my husband does one every month. I try to give 10% of what I make and I like breaking it up by week instead of writing one check a month. We also have online giving which is really what I need to do, because like you, I sometimes run out without my wallet!
    I don't think it matters when you give as long as you are giving what you give because you want to, not because you feel pressured to.

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  31. I know this might be different, but I even get to feeling this way at youth group sometimes. While I understand the importance of giving, I don't think money is the only acceptable way. In fact, I KNOW so.

    Could I give that extra $5 I just spent on Caribou Coffee? Yes. Could I give 15 minutes to go in early and sit and pray? Yes. Could I listen to worship music instead of rapping some Justin Bieber song? Yes. Could I babysit for free even though my gas tank is almost empty? Yes.

    The point I'm trying to make is that there are choices and sacrifices that I could make every.single.day. in order to make my life one that would "look good" to everyone watching - but my biggest thing is being REAL and doing anything/everything I do to the fullest or not at all.

    I know this might sound silly, but I started praying about it. I would pray before going to church/youth and right before offering time. There have been weeks that I get a number in my head of how much I'm supposed to give. That number has been anywhere from $2-$1000. (If you remember all the Speed The Light stuff I did last fall.) :) There have also been weeks where I feel as if God is saying, "It's okay. I'm still proud of you." There are weeks I give NOTHING. That doesn't make me any less of a follower of Christ.

    I know that God will supply me with whatever I NEED, so I try my best to give regularly... But that doesn't always happen and I don't believe God is up there shunning me when I don't. LOL! I think the most important thing if giving when you feel CALLED to do so!

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  32. I think the important thing to remember here is that it is a GIFT back to God, for all that He has given us. The Bible says for us to give the first fruits or 10% (Old Testament).
    However the new testament states:
    1 Corinthians 16:22 On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.(again, I think this is just saying GIVE...not a certain day or a certain amount).
    For me, I was raised to tithe 10% of my check. I can remember making 100$ and we'd divy it up starting with $10 to church, then bills, then fun. I still currently do 10% and I do it monthly, based on my income. Because it's easier for me to remember to do it once a month.
    But, back to your heart. I think it's a gift. The Lord wants to see your heart and I think it is far more important to be a 'cheerful giver' than it is a 'giver because of a rule'. I think tithing relies a lot on faith. Because there are some months I think about where else this money could go, but I know it was given to me, so I give it back. I also feel that it's not always to the church that you tithe. Perhaps, like during the Oklahoma disaster, you felt led to give to RedCross or somewhere, I think that's perfectly fine. Because you are taking care of your neighbor, and we are called to do that as well. So. I think it's all based on person. I think if you feel led to give, than give...and if you don't have it that month, it's between you and God. And for the onlookers who care or don't care if it's in an envelope or not, cash or check, if you even give or not---let'em think...God's the only one who knows your heart!

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  33. The bible says you are to tithe 10% of your income. Whether you tithe 10% of your gross or net is an argument that lots of people have. My husband is self employed and our income fluctuates so we tithe weekly. We are one of those families that uses the envelopes because once we became members of our church they started sending them to us to use. They keep track 1) for tax purposes for you, and 2) if and when you want to serve in the church they have to know that you are following Gods law.

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  34. My husband and I tithe via electronic funds transfer to our church every time I get paid (every other Friday). My husbands check comes in on the 1st and 15th so mine is just easier to plan. We tithe 10% of our income. I still feel anxious when the offering plate is passed even though I KNOW we tithe. So strange. But no one needs to know!

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  35. In the Old Testament, it says to tithe. However, the Old Testament (old law) was done away with when Christ died on the cross. The veil of the temple being torn into two upon Christ's death (Matthew 27:51) symbolized this as it destroyed the divider between man and God (Exodus 26:33 tells us that the purpose of the veil was to be a divider between man and the Most Holy, God). Also, Hebrews 8:13 tells us that the old law has been done away with and is obsolete. Therefore, tithing as mentioned under the old law is NOT the law today.

    Today, the New Testament governs. In the New Testament, we are told, "On the first day of the week let each one of you lay something aside, storing up as he may prosper, that there be no collections when I come." - 1 Corinthians 16:2.

    We are commanded to give every first day of the week as we have prospered. That is what God said, that is what the first-century church did, so that is what we do today. If you're currently unemployed, you're clearly not prospering. Therefore, God does expect you to give. However, if you're working and earning an income, you are to give - every first day of the week (Sunday) as this is what God commands of us.

    I once heard a preacher preach a sermon over this topic. Because we are no longer under the old law of tithing but rather the new law to give as we prosper, many people struggle with just how much to give. He made a point that has stuck with me ever since - we should give so that it hurts a little. For example, if you put $40 in your monthly budget to go to the movies each week, take some away from that $40 and give it to God. Make that personal sacrifice to give to God as He has so graciously blessed us.

    That is my ultimate guide when I give each week. God has blessed me with the means to provide for myself and to have all of my basic needs met. I'd much rather give back to Him than use that money to buy something extra for myself that I really don't need (another pair of cute but unnecessary shoes/clothing/etc.). Plus, it pleases Him when I give back to Him so that His work may be done on this earth rather than keep so I can spend selfishly.

    As for remembering each week - I set aside the money I am going to give the day/night before and place it in my Bible. That way, I don't forget to do it in the rush of getting ready and out the door on Sunday morning. You can monetarily give in cash, check, money order, etc. Most people prefer to use checks because it's easier to keep track of come tax time as money given to the church IS tax deductible.

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  36. I think, really, it's between you and God. Whatever you feel to give monetarily, is acceptable. We give weekly and that amount changes every week. Whatever we have, is what we give. My children go to school at our church too, so my son attends Mass on Fridays with school. We also give him a few dollars to give at offering time at Mass. I don't think it needs to be a stressful thing....God knows whats on your heart and its between you and Him. Pray about it and see what he says to do. :)

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    1. I also want to say, I wouldn't worry if you forget your wallet or don't have cash, etc. I think God is extremely happy that you are there to worship and praise Him. That's what matters! He doesn't want you stressed out, remember that He is a loving and forgiving God. You don't have to earn His grace. You don't have to pay Him to love you and forgive you.

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  37. I get annoyed when the same people who tell me, "the Old Testament is dead!" are the same ones who use Leviticus to tell me homosexuality is wrong.

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  38. Great topic! I've enjoyed reading through the responses.

    We give 10% of our gross income. Checks are written twice a month when we get paid. At first I felt uncomfortable tithing so much money, but that faded with time and prayer. Since we began faithfully tithing we have been blessed beoynd measure - financially and otherwise. It is a large sum of money, but now we don't even miss it and feel good about giving back. We enjoy tithing because we know it benefits the church & the school/day care they operate.

    Our church doesn't pass a plate, but has an agape box at the box of the sanctuary. I don't think anyone is judging you (if they are that is their problem), but rather you feeling convicted about tithing. I encourage you to pray over the topic give 10% a try. It may seem like a lot, but it will be worth it.

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  40. It looks like lots of folks replied already so I'm sorry if I repeat. I think the biggest reason for envelopes is to track for budgeting purposes. It allows churches to see which folks have fulfilled their pledges and what money is in excess of that. I think many churches have gone to a system that allows families to pay online so our offering plates are often just passed on by many people. No one would think anything if you didn't put any money in because its not unusual. One thing to note, at a lot of churches, the money jn the offering plate-not designated to a pledge by envelope or to a special cause for the week, sometimes goes to the pastors discretionary fund for him or her to use as s/he sees fit. That could have all sorts of meanings, but not usually the daily life and mission of the church.

    Also, sometimes churches keep track of pledging or offerings to identify leadership. In our denomination, we elect elders to help govern the church. This would typically be someone who is tithing (though they wouldn't necessarily identify 10 percent as much as consistent giving). That may sound bad, but what it says is that this is someone who is investing in this congregation and returning thanks to God for what they've been given. They would probably make a willing and dedicated leader. It wouldn't have to be a large pledge, but a demonstration of making a financial commitment and fulfilling it. (I feel like that sounds awfully pretty, but its similar to what you'd see on a company board-it shows investment in a cause.). All of that to say, there's nothing wrong with doing what you're doing, but those are some reasons why some may do it differently.

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  41. I don't think that it should matter how much people give to their church. I think that it matters that you are faithful and attend because some people have the extra money to give while others have to hold onto every penny that they can get. My family never gave offerings every week. Anymore, none of us carry cash and writing a check all of the time just doesn't work. My family gives all of their offerings at Christmas Eve mass. It's always a larger check, whatever we feel like we can afford at that time. My grandma always gave a dollar or two every week when she had it in her purse, but she always donated a lot more at Christmas Eve mass too.

    http://reviewsuntilyoudrop.blogspot.com/

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  42. I really love that you posted this because I am so curious and clueless every time the offering plate comes around! Loved reading all of these responses!

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