Be patient with me, I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this blog post.
Here's how I feel about this blog.
I want to be here. I worked very hard to get to this place with blogging. Building relationships with my readers and other bloggers is very special to me. I love coming here and writing, interacting but it also stresses me out to the core. I want to give you guys a daily dose of Life After I "Dew" posts and I want to email you back immediately when you leave me a comment. Just like I used to do. I want to have the next most popular Pinterest pin, leading people here, to this lil ole blog, that might not otherwise find it. But the truth of the matter is, it can't be. I can't be the blogger I used to be.
I've been blogging once a week, at best, lately. I hate it. I like coming here to write; it's like free therapy. I don't, however, like feeling pressure. Pressure to put out the best post of the day full of colorful images and articulate words. I don't like the pressure I feel when I read yet another comment that I can't respond to. I know, I know #firstworldproblems.
I know we make time for things that are important to us and, for me, that used to be blogging. I loved that quiet moment where I'd sit down with my laptop and my fingers would type faster than my brain could think. I had a post for every day of the week and then some. I felt like I would never run out of ideas and/or things to talk about. And then I had another baby.
Adding a second child is more than double the work of one in all aspects but mostly in the time management department. When I have a moment to myself, I feel too guilty to sit down and start blogging. I feel like that time should be spent doing things to make life easier when the children are awake and my husband is home. Like putting laundry away so that my husband doesn't have to sift through baskets of clothes to find underwear. Or washing bottles so that I'm not doing it when my child is screaming in my face for his food. Or setting up a fun craft so that when Kendall wakes up we're ready to do something fun. So that's usually what I spend my "free time" doing.
It makes me sad because I've worked hard to "make it" in this blog world. I've done the link up parties, I've commented on other blogs to "get my name out there", I've done the sponsoring gig and, I like to think, I've done it pretty successfully. So when I go days, weeks without visiting blogger I feel like all my hard work is gone down the drain. Like, what did I work so hard for? Again, #firstworldproblems.
And then I think about the future of blogging. Will we all still be here, blogging, in 5, 10, 15 years? A year ago I would have said, without a doubt, that I'd still be here in 5 years but now I'm not so sure. I enjoy this part of my life so I don't want to give up something I get such happiness from. But then apps like Instagram make things so much easier to share in the same way, kind of. In an instant, with one picture, I can pretty much sum up what would take a half hour of writing a blog post. So is that the future of blogging?
I not really sure why I feel the need to explain myself but you have all hung in there with me for so long that I feel like I owe it to you. I'm not giving up blogging, at all, but I am giving myself the opportunity to be OK with not doing it every day or even every week.