Life After I "Dew"

As some of you may have noticed, it's been a little quiet around these parts lately.  It seems as though blogging in general is a thing of the past for most bloggers.  Many of my favorite bloggers are either not blogging anymore or are sporadically posting, like me.  Gone are the days of making sure you have a post written the night before and it's scheduled to post right at 8 am.  And that's OK.

Over the last year I've learned a few things, about blogging but mostly about myself.  I don't need to share every last detail of my life.

Blogging was an outlet for me.  It was a place I liked to come and share things I loved and tidbits of my life and I enjoyed doing so.  I liked sharing my latest outfits of the day.  I loved when you guys laughed at my celebrity gossip posts.  I was so proud each week when more and more people linked up with my SO WHAT! Wednesday posts.

I also found a lot of new friends through blogging.  I connected with people who I wouldn't have otherwise known.  I loved scrolling through my reader each day- reading AND commenting on every post I read.  I didn't do those things to make my online presence known, I did them because I was genuinely interested in that bloggers life.

And then life gets in the way.

I've watched others get engaged, plan a wedding, get married, welcome their first, second and, in some cases, third babies!  It's been amazing following people through this journey and I hope others have enjoyed watching me do the same.

Through those years has come a lot of growth with my blog following but even more so within myself.

At one point I was comfortable sharing every detail of my life down to our form of contraception in before we started trying for James.  I don't know about you, but no one needs to know that part of my life, or anyone else's for that matter. I shared because I wanted to be real and honest.  I prided myself on that.  I wanted to be so authentic that I put myself out there in hopes of being completely transparent and relateable.

Once James was born life got a little bit messier.  My time to blog became more and more difficult to squeeze in.  Even days when I wanted to write I couldn't because something else was more important in that moment.  So I'd type little notes in my phone because I knew my mom brain wouldn't remember them otherwise.  Having James sort of forced me to take a step back and I'm glad it did.

Not having the time to blog made me realize that I was over-sharing.  That I didn't need to spew out every last detail of our lives.  I learned that just because I wasn't publishing a post every week day didn't mean I wasn't being honest.  It didn't mean people couldn't relate to me.  If anything they could relate more because they were probably experiencing the same struggles.

I also have to think about my kids when it comes to this little space of mine.  I know that one day they will be older and their friends parents might find this blog.  I want it to be something I'm proud and not something I'm embarrassed by.  My earlier posts are cringe-worthy but I will never delete them because it shows my growth over the years.

I guess it's all about balance.  That's what I keep hearing anyway.  There aren't enough hours in the day, there never will be, so we have to make the most of the hours we do have.  I miss blogging, I miss reading blogs, but I know that life happens and just because we aren't blogging as much anymore doesn't mean anything other than that.  I do want to get back to writing a little more often though.  I want to write about my kids a little more so that I can share with them when they are older.
I've never been good at prioritizing but I think this little blogging break, if you can call it that, has forced me to reevaluate my priorities. And now 1/2 of my crew is up so it's time to go do my mom stuff.

xo.

Do you have a "company ready" house?  You know the kind that looks "lived in" but not really.  The one where you dust, vacuum, pick up all the toys, make the beds, wipe down the table and make sure there are no dishes in the sink.  Company ready.

I do and it's exhausting.

Whenever someone texts and wants to have a play-date I secretly hope that they offer to host or want to meet at a park, the zoo, rec center, anywhere but my house.  Please don't come to my house.

Even though it would be easier to do it at my house, no driving required, I can lay James down for a nap when he's ready, it's baby-proof, it's free.  I always prefer to go somewhere else and, usually, so do my kids.

It's not that I'm ashamed of our house.  I'm not embarrassed.  Our house is never "dirty", by any means.  There might be finger prints on every surface and I couldn't tell you the last time I wiped down our baseboards or walls but, for the most part, our house is tidy.  I actually quite like our house.  It's an older home so it has character.  The layout works great for having company.  Our yard is bigger than any of our friends, perfect for playing.

So why wouldn't I want to show it off to our friends?  Because I hate the hustle and bustle of picking up everything, making sure there are no dishes in the sink, vacuuming up the dust bunnies, and making our house look lived in but not messy.

It's exhausting, keeping up with Pinterest.

Yep, that's right, I blame Pinterest for this manic state of keeping a company ready house.  Was this even a thing when our parents were young, stay-at-home-parents?  Doubtful.

We browse Pinterest for recipes, outfit ideas, tips on how to handle The Terrible Twos, and you can't miss the gorgeous, beautifully-staged, clean, crisp home interiors that are more than company ready.  Somehow Pinterest has set the standard for how to live in your house and what it should look like.  I blame Pinterest because I have never walked into any of my friends homes to see what I see there.  When I go to other's houses I see the same thing I see at my house.  Toys, shoes, stacks of mail, sippy cups everywhere and even a dust bunny or two.

So why stress out?  God forbid people actually know that we use our house for what it was intended?  We live here.  Two little kids run around here.  Two dogs lounge around lazily all day {I wish!}. Four people eat, sleep and play here.  And that, to me, is way more important than fresh vacuum lines on the carpets.

So, be warned, if you come to my house you may see home that is actually lived in.  I can't promise you won't step on a toy  and there might be a sippy cup hidden in the couch cushion but I can promise we have fun here.  Oh and I'll always clean the toilets before you arrive.

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

• I have a major slight fan girl crush on Nick Jonas.  I never got his appeal until we watched the entire first season of Kingdom over two days.  And now every time I hear his songs on the radio? SWOON!
• I started the 300/30 day ab challenge again this week.  Today was day 3 and I'm not nearly as sore as I was last time I did this.  Does that mean my core strength is stronger now?
• I kinda sorta want to learn how to mow the grass.  My dad was way too anal about his yard to ever teach me but now Jimmy looks so blissful out there I kinda want to see what it's all about.
• Just kidding I just want an excuse to be away from the kids for an hour and work on my tan.
• This past weekend I treated myself to a pedicure for Mother's Day.   
• It has been almost two years since my last pedicure.
• I don't get the #lilyfortarget obsession.  There, I said it.
• I think the new season of RHNYC needs to be renamed Cougar Town.  Sonja and Carole need to simmer down now.  I actually cringed watching last weeks episode.
• I am fully prepared to ugly cry at Kendall's pre-k graduation next week.  Her teacher sent home the song they're supposed to practice and just reading the lyrics makes me tear up.
• I'm thinking of dying my hair pink.  It's a subtle pink but still...
• James getting his cast off was the highlight of my day/week/month/year.  Three weeks doesn't seem like a long time but it is when you are carrying around 35lbs.
• It took nearly 5 years but I've finally found a babysitter that's not a family member.