October 8, 2015

When Blogging Isn't Fun Anymore

Back in the day I couldn't wait to flip open my laptop screen and pull up blogger.com on my browser. I couldn't wait to put my fingers to the keys and type away the days latest. There were times when I was just full of ideas and things to talk about. Sometimes I'd have a week or more of scheduled posts waiting to be published. I shared everything and everything and it was fun.  I liked over-sharing even if, looking back, maybe I shouldn't have shared so much.

I prided myself on being honest and authentic with my readers.  I wanted people who met me to say that I was the same in person as I was on my blog and for the most part I think I was.  I said I didn't care what people thought of me and I believed that to be true.  I said I wasn't blogging for the comments or the follows but that was only half true.

I have thick skin but at the same time I'm human.  I have feelings and while it takes a lot to tear me
down it does happen and it did. I hate to even give these people the time of day but oh well.  Here goes...

The haters got to me. At one point I remember {jokingly} saying, "Oh I'm not on GOMI yet so I guess I haven't made it".  And then BAM!  One day I was.  Three pages bashing me, criticizing my parenting, questioning my decisions to have a second baby, name calling, you name it.  It stung a little a lot.  And then the nasty comments on my blog posts were coming in more frequently and I didn't know how to handle it.

I'm not saying everyone has to like me or agree with my decisions but I do like to abide by the "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all" rule.  It's simple, don't read my posts.  Don't follow me on FB, IG, Pinterest or Twitter if you don't like me or what I have to say.  Or if you do have constructive criticism {ha!} I'm happy to chat.  But saying things like I'm an alcoholic or that I only decided to have another baby because other bloggers were doing so {I can't make this up}, or that my kid is a brat is just ignorant, hurtful and rude.

I let it affect me and I shouldn't have.  I should have held my head high, stayed true to myself {and my blog} and kept trucking along.  I got to the point where I didn't want to write, I didn't want to put myself out there anymore because I didn't want to hear/read it.  I think the reason it got to me was because my kids were involved and that I will not tolerate.  I should have stuck up for myself and them but instead I let it shut me down, the exact thing they were trying to do.  I hate that.

I hate that cyber bullying exists and I believe that's what this is.  I hate to even use the term "bully" because I think it gets overused in today's society but it is what it is. But no more will I be a victim.  I've come to accept the fact that people will say what they want regardless of what I do.  Even if I stop blogging there is FB, IG, Twitter and Pinterest so they will find something there to hate on.  I refuse to let them have that sort of control over me.

I feel like I needed to take some time, to step away and reevaluate myself and what I wanted to put out there for the world.  So in a way I thank the "haters" for forcing me to do just that.  I didn't need to be sharing some of the topics that I did years ago.  I didn't need to post as much nonsense on IG as I once did.  It took a {somewhat} blogging break for me to realize that about myself.

I feel like more needs to be done to protect bloggers and others on social media from cyber bullying but I'm just not sure what that is yet.  If I could figure out a way to shut down nasty sites like GOMI I would.  People have killed themselves over things they read about themselves on the Internet and that is just not OK, ever.  I will  not stand for it anymore and I will not let them tear me down one more day.

So I'm back.  My goal with blogging has changed a bit and I have too.  I hope to inspire, support, and motivate other women.  I want to create a positive place for people to come and feel safe.  I want to have a judgment free zone on this blog.  Whether you are looking for fitness tips, a place to feel normal while raising little kids, workout motivation, or even a laugh here and there I want you to find it on my blog.

Stay tuned :-).

18 comments:

  1. I can't wait to start reading again! And honestly, I've been feeling the same lately. I might want to start up again...but honestly, I need a whole rehaul on my blog.....we shall see how that goes :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. It takes a cowardly person to attack someone from behind their computer screen. I know it's hard, but those people don't know you. They don't know your life. They don't live it every day. They just get a blip of what you share and their biased opinion to poison it. Those people don't matter. They are hurting inside and show it by lashing out. Just remember all the people you DO blog for. The people's whose lives you have had such a positive impact on. Glad to see you back in my newsfeed! :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I totally feel you. Several years ago I went through it, and I'll be honest, it still really affects me, 5+ years later! People can be so cruel, the worst part is that they don't think so!
    I have a private blog that I document our lives on. If somebody wants to read it and I trust that person, I let them. I'm not doing it for just me, I'm doing it for my kids. It's like a baby book of sorts.
    Also, I post a lot of Instagram. So what? If it bothers you don't follow me, you know? Even some family members will say I post too much or make fun of a picture I post. That really stings, bc why can't people just accept the way I CHOOSE to do things, and abide by the rule to stop following me if it really bothers them. I could care less. I'm also documenting life through Instagram. I think my girls will appreciate all of those little memories I documented!
    Lastly, I don't have a Facebook anymore, and DONT MISS IT ONE BIT!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am so excited you are back.It is sad people have to be cowards and hide behind a computer, you know they would never say this stuff to any one's face. I always look at them as not having a life... now this site you are talking about, I have never heard about it and I am scared to go on and see if they have wrote anything about me... Anyway, I am glad your back. I always love your honestly and watching your cute kiddos grow. ps: I love the new look.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Shannon. I used to be a daily reader of your blog, dating back to your days as a newlywed. I even bought Avon from you! Awhile ago I happened to notice that you blocked me on instagram....I was baffled because I've certainly never left a remotely rude or mean comment anywhere to you. Did you delete a bunch of people because you were getting mean comments and deleted whatever names you didn't recognize? No idea if that's the case, but whatever the reason I wish you the best. Take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey girl! Did you get the email I sent you? I have no idea why that happened! I did go through and delete anyone who hadn't commented or "liked" anything in hopes of getting rid of some of the nasty "followers" so if yours was one that was deleted with that I apologize! Someone else commented after you and I found her and was able to unblock her account and I'd be happy to do the same! I'm sorry that happened!

      Delete
  6. Glad you are back! I've missed your posts, your honesty, your humor. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Shannon,
    I am glad you are back and absolutely love your blog. Don't let the trash spoil your space on the internet. Seriously. Just because you have a life does not mean you need to carry the baggage of the people who don't. You do what you love to do, and no need to let anyone take that from you. You continue to write. I will say, not everyone is going to like what you read, and to those people: It is simple. Stop reading. Move along. Act like an adult and leave the kids out of it. Shannon, I read your blog every morning and you know my life, I don't have much time to do anything right now (three kids, graduate school, husband who travels so much, teaching, volunteering), but your blog is something I make sure I read every morning because it brings a little light into my morning before the chaos begins ... keep writing and doing what you do! Love you, "cousin-in law"!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sorry friend, this is so sad! i have often thought about how bloggers can be protected but it really is so difficult! Far too many trolls hiding behind their computer screens! x

    ReplyDelete
  9. So happy that your back!
    Sites like GOMI really annoy me. People judging people that they have never met or spoken too. Just judging from behind their screens.

    Looking forward to reading more :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Shannon,

    I apologize if you get two comments from me; I'm having trouble logging in. Anyway, I'm happy to see you're back. I have a little girl KPs age and have always been able to relate to you. However, I was bummed when I realized awhile back that you blocked me on IG. I was hoping to buy piyo from you and didn't understand why as I've never been rude to you--I've always liked you!
    Good luck with new season of blogging and I wish you the best.
    Meghan C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no? You're blocked?! I don't think I have EVER blocked anyone from IG! I don't even know how to do that, LOL!!! I did go through and delete people who hadn't commented/liked anything the entire time they've been following me but that was it! I was also "private" for a while too! Oh I feel bad if I blocked you on accident!!!

      Delete
  11. That's probably what happened; I didn't comment so I got deleted. But I'm blocked as well and cannot request to follow you. :-(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no! Well that just makes me mad now! What is your username? Maybe I can unblock you? I used an app to do the clean up but I didn't realize it blocked people! That is rude!!! I'm so sorry! I will get you added ASAP if I can!

      Delete
    2. Thanks Shannon. My username is meghancolasanti.

      Delete
  12. Thanks Shannon! It's meghancolasanti

    ReplyDelete
  13. I was just made aware what Gomi is .. I was absolutely appalled .. People were even talking about families /blogs that experienced loss or tragedy .. Disgusting that people have time for that .. Anyhow.. I love your blog and hope people don't get u down anymore

    ReplyDelete
  14. Haters gonna hate.I'm glad you're getting back to it, because duh I like reading it :)

    I should blog again....

    ReplyDelete