Life After I "Dew"

As I mentioned a couple times, I'm doing 21 Day Fix EXTREME right now and so far, so good {I think}.  I'm not weighing myself or taking measurements till the end so that's why I say "I guess".  It's not been easy and I have slipped up a couple of times, I'm human.  I will say that it has been an eye-opening experience and I have realized that 1. I eat too many carbs and 2. I don't eat enough veggies.  I kind of already knew all of those things but this sort of put it on display and made me really check myself.  

One recipe that I have made and LOVED has been this 21 Day Fix EXTREME turkey chili.  Now, not to toot my own horn or anything, I make a pretty BA chili.  I don't have a real recipe, per se, but it always tastes the same and it's always a crowd pleaser.  Anyway....with that being said, I was skeptical of trying something new.  Jimmy is not a big fan of turkey, in fact he refuses to eat turkey bacon altogether, so I was nervous when I told him I was making a turkey chili. But, to my surprise, he loved this just as much as I did!  Wife win!

• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1.5 pounds raw 93% lean ground turkey
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 medium green bell pepper, chopped (I used orange pepper b/c I had it on hand)
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1 1/2 tsp ground cumin
• 1 Tbsp. chili powder
• 1/2 tsp. sea salt or Himalayan salt
• 1/4 tsp. cayenne pepper (to taste; optional)
• 1 (15-0z) can black beans, drained, rinsed
• 1 (15-oz) can red kidney beans, drained, rinsed
• 1 (15-0z) can all-natural diced tomatoes, no sugar added
• 12 fresh cilantro sprigs, finely chopped (for garnish, optional)

Today I'm saying SO WHAT if...

• My Amazon wishlist consists of all things for the home.  We're talking a crock-pot, sheets, rugs, towels, and I threw some slippers in there to shake things up a bit.  Living on the wild side.
• I just heard the new Adele song, Hello, and now I see what everyone was hyped up over last week!  Chills!
• I just can't give up coffee creamer.  No matter how clean I try to eat.  No matter how many almond/coconut milk creamers I try.  If it makes it any better I drink the Natural Bliss flavors so I think that is "healthier", right?
• I'm going to try another Erin Condren life planner.  I've had two over the past few years, I use them for a couple weeks and then they get thrown to the wayside.  But now, now I will use one, I'm certain of it ;-).
• I love being sore from workouts.  I know it's weird and people dread it but I love it because it let's me know it's working!
• Speaking of working out...I am in the middle of 21 Day Fix Extreme and I had to take a couple days off already.  The weekend was busy, I was sore, excuse, excuse, excuse.  I'll have to add on a couple days but the point is I'm sticking to it!
• I'm not dressing up for Halloween.  Do parents normally dress up?
• I love rainy days.  Always have, always will.
• Jimmy might have me convinced into getting a puppy.
• I am way too excited for the Halloween episode of Kelly & Michael.  It's my favorite thing to watch every Halloween. Sorry Charlie Brown.
• I could eat chili breakfast, lunch and dinner!  I love it and I have a new, 21 Day Fix approved, turkey chili I'll share later this week!

So ladies, listen up, I am the worlds worst chocolate chip cookie maker.  Seems like no matter what I do they turn out flat, hollowed out underneath and all the chips rise to the top.  What gives?!  I follow the instructions perfectly, I have all "fresh" aka not expired ingredients, and I've tried multiple baking sheets in hopes of that being the culprit.  I've tried butter soften, melted, straight out of the fridge.  Nothing seems to matter, the're always bad.  I can make every kind of cookie except chocolate chip.

Until now.

I decided maybe it was just the butter in general.  I know everyone says to use butter instead of margarine but to those people I say, "pish posh".  Also to the people who say you need to separate the wet & dry ingredients into two bowls and then combine, double, "pish posh".

That's right, I use margarine and I throw all of the ingredients into my stand mixer and my chocolate chip cookies have never been so perfect!  Thank goodness too because Kendall requests to bake cookies at least once a week.

Ingredients

• 2-1/4 cups All Purpose Flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup margarine or two sticks
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 cups semisweet chocolate morsels

I put all above ingredients, minus the chocolate chips, into a stand mixer and mix until combined.  Once all of the ingredients are mixed together I then add the chocolate chips and mix some more. Drop a tablespoon-ish of dough onto your cookie sheet and bake in preheated {375 degrees} oven for 8-10 minutes.


Enjoy!

This week I'm saying SO WHAT if...

• I'm bringing back the SWW posts.  I loved it, I missed it, it was a crowd pleaser.  
• I want to be friends with Kendra Wilkinson.  I've watched her since The Girls Next Door and followed her and Hank to Marriage Bootcamp and now her show Kendra On Top.  I think she seems like a cool, funny, tells it like it is girl and I want to hang out with her.  
• I kinda want to do one of those capsule wardrobes I see floating around but then I remember most days my wardrobe is yoga pants, tennis shoes, and a hoodie sooo...
• I went back to bed after typing the first three bullet points...
• I've been doing 21 Day Fix Extreme for three days and I already want to throw in the towel.  How can one person eat so many veggies?!  I kid, kind of. I'm down one pound since Monday so I can tell it's working but wahhhh I want Oreos!
• I've been rocking the middle part for the past couple of days and I think it makes me instantly cooler.  Don't ask me why but all the celebs do it so I'm thinking that has something to do with it.
• I've never seen Hocus Pocus.  I tried last year and I just couldn't get into it.  I realize I am the only person alive that feels this way.  Don't hate me.
• Thursday has become my new favorite day of the week before Friday or Saturday.  Pay day and bible study both happen to be on Thursday.
• I still haven't gotten the hang of driving my new truck after two months of driving it.  I've run over a tricycle, a camp chair, our rock/landscaping and multiple curbs.  Good thing it's a big truck and can handle all that nonsense.
• I don't like PSLs.  I know I am the only one and that's OK. I like pumpkin everything else.
• I refuse to watch this season of American Horror Story.  We are normally big AHS fans but after watching 40 minutes of the first episode this season I just cannot watch that trash for one more second.  Garbage, complete garbage.

Recently I started reading Hands Free Mama at the recommendation of Instagram. Ladies, if being present and putting your phone away is something you struggle with I recommend this book.  I was shocked that I found it at the library a couple of weeks ago but I will say don't bother with a rental.  Grab yourself a copy that you can highlight, write in, re-read, dog-ear the pages, etc.  You're going to want to have this to reference and a library copy just won't do.

Some of her stories make me cringe.  Ignoring your kids because you just want to finish this email.  Not letting the kids "help" with something for fear of them doing it wrong or making a mess.  Texting while driving.  Missing special moments because you're too busy checking out everyone else's special moments.  Sounds awful, right?

I found myself relating to more than one of her "awful" stories.

I've been guilty of checking Instagram at a stop light.  I've told my kids, "give me one second" so I could finish typing an email.  I've chosen to let them stay inside and watch TV so I could write a blog post. I'm guilty of missing moments because I'm too busy taking a picture of "the moment" but instantly posting to Instagram.  I'm embarrassed to admit, I've done it all and I've done it too often.

It's so easy to get wrapped up in social media.  You have your phone, your iPad, your laptop, making it so convenient.  You no longer have to be home to scroll Facebook because it's available at your fingertips even when you're at the zoo.  It's fun to see what everyone else is up to and their pretty pictures but at what cost?  And when is it too much?

I'll admit it's too much and too often for me.  My phone is never too far away and if it is I kind of feel twitchy.  Want to talk about a punch in the face?  I've been trying to step away from my phone when the kids are awake/around and one day my phone was "far away" from me and Kendall picked it up and brought it to me,"mommy, here's your phone".  As if to say, "I can't believe you don't have it in your hand, here you go".  It made my heart hurt a lot.

The book doesn't just talk about stepping away from social media, computers and other devices though, it talks about stepping away from this idea of "perfection" which includes, but is not limited to, distractions, to-do lists, and societal pressures.

I can't tell you how many times I've missed out on snuggling up and watching a movie with a big ole bowl of popcorn because I wanted to clean up the kitchen.  I've skipped going to the park in order to get stuff crossed off of my never-ending to-do list.  They look forward to seeing Jimmy come home because he will take them outside and play silly games.

And I know my kids have amazing, fun-filled, adventurous lives.  I know that we do a lot more than some kids get to.  Heck I wrote a whole blog post on what an amazing summer they had and how I'll never be able to live it up because it was a nonstop good time.  BUT I know I could be better and I don't mean that in a perfectionist way, I mean I could be better because I could be more present.  I can quit worrying about the dirty dishes and the toys on the floor and I can snuggle.  I can say "to heck with that to-do list today, we're going to the park!".  When my kids look back on their childhood I want them to remember ME, not a clean house.  I want them to remember the silly games we played, not that mommy was always on her phone/computer.

I'm not airing my "dirty laundry" for head pats, for "but your such a good mom, you're being too hard on yourself".  I'm also not sharing this because I want judgement.  I know there are other women, moms, out there who are in the same boat.  They are consumed by social media just as much as I was.  They realize that their priorities are out of whack but they do nothing about it.  I've been there and it's a sucky, sucky place to be.  My hope is to inspire others to recognize their "faults" and take action.  If that means picking up this book today, putting down your phone for even a 10 minute period throughout the day, or throwing your to do list out the window.

I challenge you to take that small step.  It will seem silly at first, you won't know what to do with your hands but then it will feel amazing.  You'll notice a difference in your family almost immediately and that alone is enough to make you want to do more.  We live in a very connected time and with that comes a lot of good but with all good things there comes bad.  We just have to figure out how to balance the two and live our lives with purpose.  Starting today!

It's my favorite time of year and no I'm not talking about Christmas {although I have ordered my Christmas cards}, I'm talking about fall family picture time!


I seriously get so excited to take them every year.  It's the only time we do family photos, taken by a real photographer and where we somewhat coordinate.  Speaking of, I have such a love/hate relationship with picking our outfits.  I mostly love it but, like this year, someone always seems to not have something.  I debated between three different sets of outfits before I finally chose this one.  At first I was a little bit nervous about the black/tan/grey combo, {is it too boring?} but now I am very happy with our "look".


James-y's outfit was the only one I was struggling with this year.  He just didn't seem to have anything that looked right with the rest of us.  Then I stumbled upon this cute little henley for $4 {Target, of course} and I think it was the perfect addition.  Not to mention, how cute is he!?


I love the color of the leaves against our outfits, it's kind of what I was hoping for.  Let the leaves be the star of the show and our outfits supporting characters.  I honestly think we picked the best weekend ever because the foliage is just amazing right now.


Oh yeah, Kendall broke her arm.  Yes, James just had a broken leg.  What can I say, the Dew kids like to live life on the edge.  She fell from the monkey bars in our back yard and she tells everyone, "But daddy was standing right there watching!  I don't know how it happened!" because it's true.  He was spotting her, she just learned how to do it on her own the week prior, and it was one of those split second moments where she dropped and he grabbed for her a second too late.  She loves her tie-dye cast and I can't blame her, it's pretty cool looking.


I had just finished telling our photographer {and close friend} how Kendall is a photographers dream come true.  She {normally} loves having her picture taken and smiles and poses on cue.  Until Saturday.  She wanted no part of taking pictures so ones with her are few and far between but the ones we did get?  Man, melt my heart.


And a few more just because I love these people.

That's what I used to say to Jimmy back when we were dating and we'd talk on the phone till we just couldn't stay awake any longer. Now, some 8 years later, I say it to both of our babies every night when I tuck them in.

This post is part of a compensated campaign with Mom It Forward Blogger Network and Sleep Number but all my opinions are my own.


Bedtime is one of my most favorite times of day with my kids.  The house is dark, quiet, everyone is relaxed and calm.  The kids easily go to bed at 7 on the dot, without a fight even!  Ha!  Who am I kidding.  Our house is just as crazy, if not crazier, at bed time.  By then Jimmy and I are ready to just unwind, have some husband-wife time and unwind.  Our kids, mostly the older one, think it's time to watch "one more show" or read "one more story".  Between the protests, the teeth that need brushed, the stories to be read and prayers to be said, sometimes I'm ready for bed once it's all said and done.

Sleep Number wants to #stopthestall with their new SleepIQ Kids Bed and they asked me to share my tips on creating a bedtime routine and why sleep in important to us.  I am no sleep expert but here's a few things that work for us.


1.  Let them know what to expect.  With Kendall I've found that if she knows that bedtime is approaching and we give her a "warning" she's much more compliant once bedtime actually rolls around.  We've set a time at the 30 minute mark and when the timer goes off she knows it's time to go to bed.  The same approach applies when it comes to the actual bed time routine.  She knows before we even get started that she gets one book, one prayer and one song and then it's lights out.  This has been her routine for at least 3.5 years and it works.  Of course we have nights where she asks for more and some nights we let her have more but generally speaking she knows what to expect before we even get to the bedroom and doing so has allowed for a much smoother bedtime.

2.  Let them chose.  Kendall gets to pick out the book we read every night.  Some nights I cringe when she picks up Cat in the Hat or One Fish, Two Fish because "WHYYYYYYY do you have to pick such a long book!?" but she picks what she picks and I don't throw a fit.  The nights where I have chosen the book the routine doesn't go so well because she's still wanting to read her book.  So we let her scour the shelves of the playroom and pick out thee perfect book and all is good.

3.  Wind down time.  About 30 minutes before bedtime we let Kendall chose {see above} one show to watch to wind down for the night.  No judging.  Sometimes she will ask for "a little snack" which is either a string cheese, yogurt or oatmeal, and she'll relax quietly on the couch with Jimmy while I put James to bed.  Many times she has fallen asleep during this "step" eliminating the bedtime battle altogether!

4.  Connect.  During prayers each night we all thank God for something or ask him to help us in a certain area of our lives.  Some days Kendall's "special prayer" is as simple as "thank you for letting me have ice cream" and other times she blows me away with the heartfelt ones like, "please keep daddy safe on his trip".  I love this part of our routine because even if we don't get to "connect" during the day I can always count on this time to learn something about my little lady and what's important to her.

Sleep Number knows how important a good night sleep is to a child's success in school and extra-curricular activities.  That is why they developed the SleepIQ Kids Bed.  The SleepIQ Kids bed features eight smart solutions that improve sleep for both parents and children:

 Family Connected, Sleep PerfectedSM: The SleepIQ® technology dashboard lets you see how the
whole family is sleeping. Powered by Bam® Labs, SleepIQ tracks your sleep and helps you optimize it.  
 Know the comfort they’re getting: The bed adjusts and grows with them; they can adjust the firmness of the bed for comfort and support – their Sleep Number setting.
 Lifts them up when they’re down: Head-tilt feature is for reading in bed or comforting stuffy heads. I think this is so cool because there have been many times when Kendall has had a stuffy nose and I pile pillows under her head only to have her roll off of them the minute she falls into a deep sleep.
 No more kiddos jumping out of bed: Alerts you when your child is out of bed or restless.
 Stars for young dreamers: Make bedtime fun again with rewards for good sleep.
 Night bright, night light: You can turn lights off remotely – when they’re sleeping tight.
 Twinkle, tinkle: Soft under-bed light guides them when they get up during the night.
 Monsters be gone!: Sleepyheads rest easy with a fearless monster detector.  We have yet to battle the "monsters under the bed" but I absolutely love this and think it is genius and adorable.


Do you have a bedtime routine with your littles?  What does it look like?  What about this super cool bed from Sleep Number?  I kinda sorta want to run right out and buy two for my kids today!  I just love that monster detector!

*Disclaimer:  While I don't follow a strictly paleo diet/lifestyle but I do find a lot of delicious paleo recipes that I like to incorporate into our rotation every once in a while.  

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.  I love everything breakfast related.  Coffee, pancakes, bacon, eggs, toast, sausage, cereal, bagels, you name it, I love it.  Once for my birthday I even did a breakfast theme and it was glorious {must remember that again this year}.

I don't make waffles very often because, honestly, I hate to get out the waffle maker.  It's so hard to clean, I always overfill it causing the waffle to spill over the edges, it's just a mess.  Jimmy doesn't really care for sweet breakfasts, he much prefers something hearty like sausage gravy & biscuits, and the kids can't ever finish a whole waffle between the two of them.  So when we have waffles I go all out.

Which brings me to these apple & sweet potato paleo waffles.



I didn't know what I was doing.  I had eggs, too many sweet potatoes and more apples than I knew what to do with so I figured I could make something happen. I've made paleo pancakes with a smashed banana and egg before so I figured this would be the same concept.

Ingredients:
1 sweet potato
1 large apple {any kind would work}
2 whole eggs
Dash of cinnamon
Grade A maple syrup

Shred the sweet potato, you could pulse it in a food processor but I just used a vegetable peeler, and dice the apple. Mix together with eggs and a dash of cinnamon.  Pour into your waffle maker and wait until the eggs cook all the way through.  Remove, drizzle with syrup {or you could use honey}and enjoy!

Super easy, super delicious!

Back in the day I couldn't wait to flip open my laptop screen and pull up blogger.com on my browser. I couldn't wait to put my fingers to the keys and type away the days latest. There were times when I was just full of ideas and things to talk about. Sometimes I'd have a week or more of scheduled posts waiting to be published. I shared everything and everything and it was fun.  I liked over-sharing even if, looking back, maybe I shouldn't have shared so much.

I prided myself on being honest and authentic with my readers.  I wanted people who met me to say that I was the same in person as I was on my blog and for the most part I think I was.  I said I didn't care what people thought of me and I believed that to be true.  I said I wasn't blogging for the comments or the follows but that was only half true.

I have thick skin but at the same time I'm human.  I have feelings and while it takes a lot to tear me
down it does happen and it did. I hate to even give these people the time of day but oh well.  Here goes...

The haters got to me. At one point I remember {jokingly} saying, "Oh I'm not on GOMI yet so I guess I haven't made it".  And then BAM!  One day I was.  Three pages bashing me, criticizing my parenting, questioning my decisions to have a second baby, name calling, you name it.  It stung a little a lot.  And then the nasty comments on my blog posts were coming in more frequently and I didn't know how to handle it.

I'm not saying everyone has to like me or agree with my decisions but I do like to abide by the "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all" rule.  It's simple, don't read my posts.  Don't follow me on FB, IG, Pinterest or Twitter if you don't like me or what I have to say.  Or if you do have constructive criticism {ha!} I'm happy to chat.  But saying things like I'm an alcoholic or that I only decided to have another baby because other bloggers were doing so {I can't make this up}, or that my kid is a brat is just ignorant, hurtful and rude.

I let it affect me and I shouldn't have.  I should have held my head high, stayed true to myself {and my blog} and kept trucking along.  I got to the point where I didn't want to write, I didn't want to put myself out there anymore because I didn't want to hear/read it.  I think the reason it got to me was because my kids were involved and that I will not tolerate.  I should have stuck up for myself and them but instead I let it shut me down, the exact thing they were trying to do.  I hate that.

I hate that cyber bullying exists and I believe that's what this is.  I hate to even use the term "bully" because I think it gets overused in today's society but it is what it is. But no more will I be a victim.  I've come to accept the fact that people will say what they want regardless of what I do.  Even if I stop blogging there is FB, IG, Twitter and Pinterest so they will find something there to hate on.  I refuse to let them have that sort of control over me.

I feel like I needed to take some time, to step away and reevaluate myself and what I wanted to put out there for the world.  So in a way I thank the "haters" for forcing me to do just that.  I didn't need to be sharing some of the topics that I did years ago.  I didn't need to post as much nonsense on IG as I once did.  It took a {somewhat} blogging break for me to realize that about myself.

I feel like more needs to be done to protect bloggers and others on social media from cyber bullying but I'm just not sure what that is yet.  If I could figure out a way to shut down nasty sites like GOMI I would.  People have killed themselves over things they read about themselves on the Internet and that is just not OK, ever.  I will  not stand for it anymore and I will not let them tear me down one more day.

So I'm back.  My goal with blogging has changed a bit and I have too.  I hope to inspire, support, and motivate other women.  I want to create a positive place for people to come and feel safe.  I want to have a judgment free zone on this blog.  Whether you are looking for fitness tips, a place to feel normal while raising little kids, workout motivation, or even a laugh here and there I want you to find it on my blog.

Stay tuned :-).

Sometimes, you know- when I'm scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, I see people, families, lives who are busy.  They have school, swim lessons, work, sports, church, music lessons, homework, gym, etc.  The list goes on.  People are very involved and I started to wonder why we weren't so involved.

At one point, actually earlier this summer, I was extremely jealous of busy people.  I wanted to have
places to be, people to see, things to do.  I was angry that our schedule consisted of waking up.  Why didn't we have more to do?  Was I doing my kids a disservice by not having them involved in more?   Were we ::gasp:: boring!?  What could I do about it?

So I enrolled Kendall in swimming lessons.  I planned numerous camping trips.  We had three out of state trips. There were birthday parties, play dates and there was nothing I said "no" to.  We were BUSY!  There was actually one stretch of time where we were gone, away from home, for six weekends in a row.  And we wondered why our yard always looked like crap...

We had lots of fun, of course.  We made a ton of memories with our kids.  We spent every weekend together as a family.  We tried new things.  Saw new places.  This summer was one for the record books and I'm not sure any summer after is going to ever live up.  This summer was epic.

It was exhausting.  By the time that sixth weekend rolled around I didn't even want to do whatever we had planned.  We were stressed and stretched way too thin.  I just wanted to stay home and BE home.  I wanted to sleep in my own bed.  I actually wanted to do laundry!  I was clearly not designed to be a busy person because once I became one, I didn't like it.  And you know what?  I think being busy made my summer go by even faster and that's something I never want.  I wanted my normal aka "boring" life back.

Then it dawned on me, just because we aren't busy doesn't mean we are boring.  We are living a calm life, and that's okay.  Our kids are still involved and social.  Kendall is currently playing soccer Wednesdays and Saturdays.  James gets to go to story time once a week and toddler time/open gym every Friday.  We go to church every Sunday.  I have bible study every Thursday.  We are still together as a family {most weekends}and we are still, most importantly, having fun!

I don't know why I put so much importance on being busy.  In my mind busy=important.  Busy=fun.  Busy=living life to the fullest.  Everyone around me seems busy so it must be "right".  What a silly way to think.  What a silly way to measure life.

So now we live a calm life and I am 100% a-OK with that.  We have many years ahead of us that are going to be busy all on their own so I am going to enjoy this time where we are moving a little more slowly.  I know the older my kids get the more involved they are going to become.  Who knows?  Maybe one day I will go back to work and then that will bring on it's own "busyness".  But for now we are calm and, most importantly, we are happy.

Dear Us,

Happy Anniversary!

This weekend you celebrated six years of marriage.  In some way six seems like a lot and in other ways you know that you still have forever to look forward to so that's exciting.  Six years, one house and two kids later, you have everything you ever dreamed of.

Six years ago you woke up on the coast of the Gulf of Mexico still on that wedding high.  You couldn't have been more in love with each other, or at least that's what you thought at the time.  You also didn't know that this would be your last vacation together for at least five years.  You drank rum drinks in the middle of the day with no fear of a hangover.  You took naps and didn't eat dinner until it was dark outside.  Life six years ago sure looked a lot different than it does now.


People told you on your wedding day, "over the years you'll fall more in love" and you scoffed, how is that even possible?  But then babies come and serious life things happen that force you to rely and lean on each other and you finally get it.  Going through the tough times and knowing you have each other's back makes you realize how lucky you are and yes, you fall more in love.

Your wedding will be the most fun one you've attended and you're going to have all of your guests tell you the same.  You kinda got married right before Pinterest blew up so you will want to do it all over again because mason jars!  But you can never recreate the moment you kissed at the alter before the pastor even said "dearly beloved".  Or the moment Jimmy karaoke'd Ice Ice Baby at the end of your reception.  It was a great day, even without Pinterest-y decorations.

You'll have your first baby before your first wedding anniversary, she will be the best decision you've ever made.  Yes "it didn't take long" and no you shouldn't have waited.  Three years after that gorgeous girl makes you parents you will welcome her little brother.  He will be the polar opposite of his sister but he will make your family complete.  But your rolls will change drastically and some days it will be hard to remember to love your spouse.  I know you don't believe me right now because "you're so in love" but it's true.  Kids change you and they change your relationship.  Make time for each other, plan date nights and trips away.  Kiss each other daily.  Connect after the kids go to bed {because your kids will go to bed pretty early ;-)}.

Your financial state will go from OK to bad to worse and that will be hard.  That is going to be the only thing that really causes stress on your marriage.  Don't compare your house, your cars, your clothes, your life to others.  You just do you.  You don't need the biggest house, fanciest car, or name brand clothes because you have everything you could possibly want {and more} under your roof.  Arguing over money will not solve the problem and is really a silly thing to get upset over anyway.  Move on.

One thing I hear from childless people is "we want to do/have x, y, z before we have kids" or "we're not ready yet".  I wasn't ready to be a parent five years and two kids ago either.  I wanted kids, sure, but I wasn't ready to be a parent.

When we were "trying" to get pregnant with Kendall I remember being really upset when it didn't happen month one aka on our honeymoon.  I vividly remember having a conversation that went something like, "wah wah boohoo poor me I WANT A BABY!!!!!!!!" or something like that.  Jimmy probably thought, "who is this crazy person that I just married?!" but instead he reassured me and the next month we were pregnant.

I was so over the moon excited, as most expectant mothers are.  I couldn't wait to buy my first baby item.  I immediately started researching baby names.  I couldn't wait to plan a nursery.  I loved looking at registries.  You could say I was obsessed.

A lot of my friends had babies by the time we got pregnant and I knew that I wanted a baby more than anything in life.  I didn't care that we lived in a two bedroom condo at that time.  I didn't know what we would do for childcare or how we would even afford any of it but I didn't care.  I wanted a baby, I was ready for a baby.

But I wasn't ready to be a parent.

There's a difference, you see.  Having babies and buying all the cutesy stuff and oohing and ahhing over their every little move is fun.  It's adorable.  It'll make your heart want to burst into a million and one pieces.  You'll be so proud when they poop, I swear it.  Then they say, "I lub mama" and you will swear you've never heard sweeter words.  It's this whole whirlwind of emotions and there is no other feeling like it.


Having babies will change you.

Having kids means saying good-bye to trips alone with your husband. Heck, even going out to dinner becomes a thing of the past once The Terrible Twos roll in.  Gone are the days of frivolous spending because you have doctor bills rolling in or someone needs a new pair of shoes.  The house you saved for and poured your heart and souls into will become messy, full of toys and the walls will have applesauce splattered on them.  Sleepless nights lead to tired mornings and some days you won't even get a shower.  You'll do things you swore you'd never do like leave the house in a baseball cap, no makeup and sweats.  Once you become a parent projects that took 30 minutes will take 3 days.

You won't be ready for any of that.  I promise.  I know I wasn't.

But I'm here to tell you something, have those babies anyway!

There's never an ideal time.  If you wait for that next vacation, job promotion, till you lose ___lbs, buy that house, etc the time will never be right.  There will always be something, always.  And just when you think you've got everything in order something else will pop up.  That's just how it goes.

You will never regret having kids.  There will be times when you will lose your cool and think, "I just want to run away from it all".  Some days being a parent feels like a thankless job.  Some days I wish, so bad, that I could just call Jimmy up and tell him to meet me somewhere for a beer and be carefree like we once were.  I can't even believe I'm admitting this but sometimes I miss my job.  Not the work itself but the interaction with other adults was nice, in hindsight.  I miss a clean house.

Those times will be few and far between and I would venture to say you would have those moments with or without kids.  At least when you have kids you have cute, smiling {most of the time}faces to remind you that it's all worth it.  Every sleepless night, every trip missed, every penny spent, every shower not taken will be worth it because being a parent is the best gift you can give yourself.

Some days I need to remind myself of these things too.